XXmidnightstarXx• Show poetry

I hate my life right now. I really want to just end it. I have thought about it, and I have almost done it multiple times now. The only thing stopping me is a couple friends and Reese.

He made me promise that I would keep living and I would not cut for a while for him. Though, to be honest, it's hard and it's just getting worse. I'm sick of everything. My mom might put me in the happy house because someone saw my cuts in school and phone calls are being made everywhere. I really don't want to go. I'm hating school and the people who go with it. I had forgotten how much I hate judgemental people and how little I trust the others. I trusted my boyfriend too much and now I'm freaking out. I'm just so sick of it, I don't wnat ot deal with it and I'm tired of lying all the god damn time. >.<




I am random, that's a warning to you now.

My friends are my life. I love them to death and I will follow them to the gates of hell and back. You mess with them and I will go kick your ass, no matter what distance separates me from you and them. I am there for them to cry on and I will listen to them and kick who's sorry ass it was who made them hurt. I try my best to make them smile and I try and be the best friend I can possibly be. I'm not perfect at it, I screw up a lot, but I'm not perfect. I love to hang out with them and talk to them. I am firecly loyal to them, whether I know them personally or not.

007 dinosaurs is the best game in the world to play. Don't know how? Well.. seriously, sucks to be you. And yes, it's as stupid as it sounds, but wow... whatever.

If this is nothing like YOUR profile... well sorry.. this is mine and I like it.

I'm not out here to make you different. I'm here to live my life as I want it, that's it. So get over it.

I have some bad experiences in life... getting over some. I have things I regret, but everyone does. I am a cutter and, I have been known to try and committ suicide before, though something either went wrong, I got caught, or I got scared. Don't like it? Then get the hell off my page, I don't want your critisizing crap here. I am trying to get over it, and my friends are helping me a lot. I don't talk to my family, I hate my family and I want to leave. I think the only thing good they did for me is bring me into this world.

My closest friends are:
Nikki
Brandi
Ashley

My boyfriend is:
Reese

People I trust:
The above mentioned (and some of these are they're allpoetry names)
XxPyroxX
XxXpurplevampiresXxX
peregrin
The Broken Queen
MyxUnbeatingxHeartx

These people are kind enough to listen to me rant and check up on me when I'm on here.



Alright, I stand about 5'6'' and weigh 76 pounds. I am NOT underweight, in fact, I think I need to loose more weight. I used to have blonde hair, but I hated it, so I dyed it black, and my bangs are blonde. I like it a lot and I am happy with it. I have peircing blue eyes, I love them. They have silver specks in them and are known to change to completely different colors according to others. Who knows though, I can't see them myself except in a mirror, and I don't make it a point to look all the time. I wear lots of liner because it makes my eyes look more harsh and they pop out more. I wear dark colors because I LIKE THEM. I don't restrict my wardrobe to dark however, I do have green, reds and whites. My hair sticks up in what you would call an "emo cut" but whatever, just comes from arguing with your best friend about how sharp or dull a razor is :S. If you MUST know, just ask, I'll answer if I'm in a good mood. I have freckles that I HATE. I want them gone.

I love to act. Pretending to be someone who is totally different than me and doesn't have a care or problem in the world. I have been in multiple plays and in fact, am in one now. I sing soprano, though, I think I sound like a dying frog, I never am swayed by what others say about it either. I also like to dance. Again, I don't think I'm very good, but I like it, so I don't care what you think about it.

I love animals, they are the things I can talk to that listen and never talk back. I guess it would be nice to tell people about problems that I have, but animals don't judge and they love you no matter what.

If you want to email me, you must ASK and I MIGHT give out my email, I do not want my email on display for everyone to see because I don't want a bunch of random crap from people I don't know. And I'll give my email out to my favorites that I talk to reguarlly without hesitation if they ask.

SKILLET is the best band in the enitre world, don't argue with me. Close runner-ups are Madina Lake- who I think is also my favorite, Breaking Benjamin, Santana, Disturbed, Green Day, Flyleaf and My Chemical Romance. The Last Night, Diary of Jane, Me Vs. The World, Into the Night, I Kissed a Girl (no, I really didn't, but this song is pimp), My Heart Will Go On, Will You Be There and Yours To Hold are SOME of my favoritest songs, basically, anything from Skillet is automatically on the list =3. And no, not all my favorite bands are on there- nor are all my favorite songs, there are too many and I'm not going ot list them all. >.<

Oh ya! And I love smileys that aren't technically smileys! >=3 =3 XD X3 ^_^ ^.^ >.> <.< >.< T.T O.O O.o o.O <(^_^)> (>^_^)> <(^_^<) :S V.V *.* @.@

Ninjas are another thing I love. They are so dark and mysterious. They are a sign of power, yet, they are not huge. That, and the fact that they can kill people in so many different ways. Also, go see Kung Fu Panda and you'll see why ^.^ best movie in THE WORLD!!

I love the colors red, purple and black. Lionfish are my favorite animal, and so are tigers. I am a night person, and I HATE getting up early. I have braces. And I love gum LOL, not quite the combination you are supposed to have. And I also can't spell all that great LOL, I've been known to misspell my own name! So don't judge me XD.

Best sents in the world go like this:
1.Vanilla (of course, that's the smell of my perfume)
2.Burnt Marshmellow (mmmm!)
3.Rain (rain is the bestest)
4.Dish Soap (yup, the powder kind)

Best foods in the world:
1.Chocolate (the healing food)
2.Ice Cream (again, healing food)
3.Cheesecake (yup, healthy list huh?)
4.Steak (make it bloody, and it's perfect)

Best activities to do:
1.Sing/Dance (LOOVE IT!)
2.Write (Why do you think I'm on this?)
3.Play in the rain (You get wet, everyone likes to get wet)
4.Hang out with friends (without mine, I'd die)

I am normaly quiet and shy, I don't reach out very easily, but when I get to know you, I'm very close to my friends. And I have lots of em! ^.^ I'm very sweet and playful around my friends and others who are on my good side.

BUT, when I'm in public and don't know anyone, I will act like a complete idiot with my friends or just by myself. I don't care about what others think about me. If they think I'm retarded, cool, if they think I'm wicked sweet, that's awesome. Good for them. However, you diss on me and you better look out. My little toys, the sniper- for subtle and quick deaths, flamethrower- for intense pain and tourcherous deaths, and my favorite, the bazooka- for those quick jobs that you just want to make messy, will be hunting you down. You hurt my friends, I'll make you BEG for me to kill you. So don't do it.

I am blunt. The end. You ask me to tell you something, I'll tell you the truth, no sugar added, free of charge. Ok, I can be sarcastic sometimes.. but only a lot. I'm also what you would consider a bitch, but I'm only like that to people I dislike. I'm just a fun loving, over touchy, random girl.

Love is NOT defined by what gender you are. If a man wants to love another man, that is love. If a woman wants to love another woman, that is love. If a man and woman want to love each other, that is love.


A man stood at the gates of Heaven waiting to be let in. A golden man stood in front of him baring the way. "You have to pass a test in order to have admitance," he told him.
The man wanting in asked, "What kind of test?"
"I will ask two questions, you then answer truthfully."
"Ok."
"Have you found joy in your life?"
"Yes" the man said.
"Has your life brought joy in other's lives?"
The man was silent.
HAS YOUR LIFE BROUGHT JOY INTO OTHER'S?



Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a t-shirt that barely covers anything?
Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to imperess a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style you give her a mouthful?
Isn't it funny that a guy can get away with being a gansta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone.
Are you laughing?
Isn't it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?
Isn't it funny that you dont mind your friends drinking smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a leture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?
I'm not laughing.
Isn't it so funny that you and your friends can make a girl's life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.
Isn't it funny that you can call emos punks and goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without and inch of guilt through your heart?
Isn't it funny that you'll dump a girl if she happens to cut herself but you'll work it out with a girl who cheats?
HOW CAN YOU CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS?

If you believe this is true, post it on your profile.

A POEM THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH BY dante-emo:

ice cold heart
when you open your eyes,
tell me what you see,
tell me that i'm cold as ice,
and you have no feelings for me.
i'm hurt and torn and no one loves me,
i wish i was never born,
so you dont have to see me.
if you cut me...
there won't be pain,
even as the blood,
gushed out of my veins.
hear me say so,
this message to you,
just because i'm emo,
doesnt mean i dont love you.


And time for some random stuff:

"Girls are like phones they like to be held & talked to but press the wrong button you'll be disconnected." <--- This is brilliant


"Love is giving up a part of yourself and allowing that part to be filled by someone else." <-- so true


"I'm lost, depressed and frightened,
For you're not here with me.
And somewhere deep inside my heart,
My lover, you'll always be."
-Benedicta Goveia ^^ how much I hate it, it's true. Heart aches suck just so you know.

"Annie thought for a minute. "It's going to take a long time to heal. I'm just going to miss him for a while." Annie grew more reflective, and her voice softer, more thoughtful, as she struggled to put her feelings into words. "We were so close....It almost feels....It almost feels like a part of me has been taken away, a part I can't get back.""
-Melinda Faveau ^^ that's completely true


"My friend lives in darkness, for she is blind.
She can see with her ears and nose.
She can sense when I am sad,
She can smell my tears in the air.
I tell her how beautiful she is and she nods, taking my face in her hand.
"And you are beautiful, too.""
-Zoe Graye ^^Something about those words make me cry

"Just as placed the edge of the knife on my wrist, my cell phone rang and interrupted my focus. I couldn'tunderstand why anyone would be calling me this late. I answered it.
Dave's voice cracked through my cell phone."I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. I don't know what I'd ever do without you."
With tears once again welling up in my eyes, I said "I love you, too."
I put the knife away, drove home and went to sleep. A few weeks later, the first time either of us had spoke of that night, Dave told me that he had an urgent feeling that he should call me and tell me he loved me. He called it a gut feeling or an intuition. I broke down and told him what his gut feeling had done for me, and for the first time I saw my best friend with a tear in his eye and a smile on his face as he told me life would just be "life" unless we experienced it together"
-Adam Cohen ^^ no, they're not gay and this is a touching story

Why There Are Friends <-- I love my friends to death, they stick with me through hell

Because... they smile.
Because... they understand just by looking in your eyes.
Because... they finish you sentences and know what you like.
Because... they know you better than you know yourself.
Because... with them you aren't afraid to be yourself.
Because... you can say something stupid or expose your deepest secrets to them.
Because... everything you do together becomes a memory.
Because... you don't need to do something special to have fun... fun just happens.
Because... you don't need to explain anything...they just know.
Because... they tell you the truth, no matter how much you'd rather not hear it.
Because... they would do anything for you and get you out of trouble.
Because... they make you laugh harder than anyone.
Because... they are not afraid to put themselves on the line for you.
Because... you can trust them.
Because... they believe in your dreams, no matter how silly they may seem.
Because... they dry your tears.
Because... you are good enough where you are with them.
Because... they love you for who you really are.
-Kristy Glassen


This is a pretty freaking awesome email I got. Too True!

Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket .
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake.
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A back rub.
15. The beach..
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS.
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger..
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

I had a guy once, his name was Tyler and he was my very first relationship. I gave out a lot to him and he ripped my heart out and ate it. I didn't think I would ever love again, and if I did, I would deny it. But one guy named Reese, got my heart back and gave it to me again. He's sees past my cutting and past the fact that I used to be suicidal. He doesn't care, he still loves me and he wants to be there. And I love him with everything I've got and more.

"DUCT TAPE FIXES EVERYTHING EVEN THOUGH THE PRODUCT ISN'T AS PERFECT AS IT WAS BEFORE IT WAS BROKEN!" <--- BWUAHAHA true, true

"I'm crying without you to hold me. I'm screaming without you talking to me. I'm hurting myself without you caring. I'm dying without your heart loving me."

"Imature love is I love you because I need you, mature love is I need you because I love you." A very true quote that I love <3