Welbis• Show poetry

Hey people, I'm a Christian student... Leave a message, cos i'm useless at keeping in touch otherwise

I love travelling, to mountains, to eastern bloc countries, Russia, china etc - basically anywhere random. I love thinking... about psychology, philosophy, epistomoly or any big question you can shake a stick at. I love reading, but I never have enough time to. I love learning more about God. I love helping. I play a bit of cricket and swim, and I play the guitar kinda badly, but it's all good fun.



As for my story to date, just before I was two I was caught in a severe car fire and given less than one night to live. Nurses were convinced I would die, but looked after me anyway. My family and various Churches across the country started to pray. My condition began to improve. Despite working in one of the busiest burns hospitals in England those nurses still remember me 18 years on - such was the impression left by my recovery.

That sounds all well and good...but it didn't seem that way to me...

This is, believe it or not, a happy story eventually, but it's real. I have to be honest about where i've come from so that you know why i'm so happy to be where i am.

There were times in my childhood that sucked. I didn't have a clue who I was and was bullied; for the visible scarring on my hands and forehead, and any indirect impact it had had on my confidence.

I spent so much time trying to come to terms with it. I'd not been conscious to witness my recovery, or to have any memory of it happening. All i had were permanent reminders that I was different... My scared hands and forehead served me metaphorical punches everywhere i went.

I became convinced that there were things wrong with me 'inside' because there were differences outside. I can remember in my youth, crying myself to sleep, and being desperate enough to try and wash the scars off with dettol. I can remember constantly asking myself who i was, and answering myself with all kinds of abusive negativity. I remember consciously hating my scars daily, and pleading with the God I vaguely believed in to explain my life to me.

I also remember trying to get on with things; I'd known nothing else, so these emotions didn't seem odd or new, it was just life. I tried to hide behind myself, I tried being excessively outgoing in the hope that no-one would notice, and I never spoke about it. In practise, i just ended up shy and confused. I was angry inside, but i bottled it up, so i lashed out often.

But then God started to make a difference. He started to be more than the crux of my weakness, he started to be real. He met with me because i allowed him to and he turned everything upside down. Somehow these walls of shyness that i was actively building up came down. Somehow the anger that I was trying to bottle up disappeared, Somehow I started to love the scars I hated, Somehow I changed, and it seriously doesn't make sense unless God did it.

No-one is too bad for God to love them. He's a God who loves the broken as much as he loves the strong. He can reach any life, soften any heart and heal any memory. All we have to do is ask. I've watched him answer time and time again in my life. Trust him.

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~ a little about me / background to my poems ~
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My testimony (how i became a christian)..can be found here:

www.jesusfreaks.org.uk/?page=Testimony&idv=1&num=2

if your a christian..please add yours!
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~ Poetry! ~
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I don't write very well, but I don't care. I write thoughts that stream from the heart, songs that might be rubbish musically but that God appreciates, I write about where I've been emmotionally and the difference God made and still makes. I write about where people are, and the difference God could make. I write about love without being cliche.


I love these verses from the message, mark 8 vs 34-37:

"anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead; your not in the drivers seat; i am, dont run from suffering, embrace it, follow me and i'll show you how, self help is no way at all, self sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, what would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you, what could you ever trade your soul for"

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