Usually-untitled• Show poetry

hello hello.

i'm a pisces. you'll never understand me even a little bit until you acknowledge that fact and apply it to your interactions with me. (for an admirable overview... http://songsdomain.tripod.com/pisces/index.html )
I play the cello, study Mandarin Chinese, drive a black '97 Corolla, read a whole lot, and, oddly enough, love barbecue.
i'm left-handed and i like girls. If that offends you i invite you to consider why.

i think my favorite thing about poetry is that it allows me to indulge in my love of talking about myself without necessarily revealing too much. i'm uncomfortable telling the truth about a lot of things, but in this medium i can hide behind a metaphor or imply things without stating them clearly. i mostly write freeverse because when i go on a wild hare and try a rhyming poem, i end up sacrificing the words i want to use to make them fit the form.

i tend toward depression followed by bouts of manic cheerfulness, often within minutes of eachother. most of my poems stem from either depression or love, or at least infatuation. i feel a little out-of-sorts when i don't have a person or an idea to fixate on... when i get too embittered i retreat to reason or religion. i've tried several religions and while none of them really fit yet, i've incorporated bits and pieces of many into my everyday life.

there are only a few absolutes in my world. drugs are a big one: i've done my research, lots of people have tried to convince me it's okay, but i refuse to do any drug and i don't make distinctions. they're all the same level of bad, in other words. this isn't an argument i want to have with you- my mind is entirely made up.

something else i find intolerable is racism. this might be because people are always asking 'where i'm from' or 'what i am,' like it'll change how they see me.

this might seem like a lot of rather personal information, but it probably would come up in casual conversation pretty quickly. i tend to overshare, and we might end up as good friends if you're tactful, educated, well-groomed, avoid illegal substances, and don't mind the LOLcat-speak...

my favorite composer is Edvard Grieg, followed closely by Vivaldi and Breval. the only constant on my ever-changing list of the Ten Greatest Albums of All Time is 'Prolonging the Magic' by Cake. i really, really like museums of all sorts.

my laptop, formerly the center of my life, crashed recently. this led to a lot more time for introspection because i wasn't spending every second talking to people, reading their words, filling my head with static... i've thought a lot about myself, especially in relation to other people. i've come to some conclusions and ditched some preconceived notions. anyone who knows me well also knows that every few weeks or months, when the going gets rough, i make a fairly drastic life change, hoping it'll make me happy. it does in the short term, but this time the fad is permanent change coming from a deeper understanding of myself, so who knows how it's gonna go.

So I thought it might be pertinent to talk about some of my favorite oldpoets and perhaps lyrics. here goes.

Sonnet XVII, Pablo Neruda
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
i love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as does the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when i fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

I first heard about Pablo Neruda because he was featured in Academic Decathlon the year we studied Latin America. i love this poem to the point i want to learn Spanish to read the original. it describes perfectly what love should be, to me.


One last thing?
Best. Website. Ever. www.everything2.com.