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There are 7 freewrites for ScW's topic

Your past then future!

let your past out to help forget, the your future to leave up to you life,, mention your goals and just who you want to be! xx ty

    just to start off!

    By ScW on June 27th 2009, late afternoon.
    on topic Your past then future!
    i want to be remember but not a lie
    I don't want to be know as hat girl like i was before
    I really hated the feelings ive had
    now hate hate not having them i was i was more sensible and more mature

    I hate haveing peole on my cause all the time

    I love writing poems espessaly ones that rhyme

    xx
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    After the strom comes blessings

    By ninaisfocused on June 27th 2009, evening time.
    on topic Your past then future!
    From the time i was born things never went my way
    i was born in this world with a father you never wanted me anyway .but always had a strong mother even while she was hitting the pipe . Then came to more Lil ones my baby sisters. with that came a step father and plenty more after him. During the years came more drugs more abuse and more moving. Sometimes i would wonder why!! WHY!! I could never understand why i was dwelt these cards. Growing up with my sisters watching my step mom get beat everyday holding our tears back scared for what might happen to us if he even seen a tear fall from ours eyes.
    I have lived in cars and hotels by the time i was 13. My sisters stayed with there dad. while i stayed with ma mom and ma soon to be step dad who did so many drugs im happy they never forgot me. Plenty more things over the years have happen ,i spent my time asking why!! why God why God Why us why me. God Says he never gives you to much to handle he says if you keep your faith in him there will be many blessings after the storm. He kept his promise because me and my family are now living in a nice house with 3 cars and you know what ma mom and step dad been clean for 5 years now. There is a reason for everything keep your faith in him cause he is the only person in the world who will never lie to you.
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    me right now

    By creative c on June 28th 2009, lunch time.
    on topic Your past then future!
    in the past i have been stucck in this world of envy, people staring at me looking at me like should be guility for speaking my mind . noway why should i be left in this cold place to day i excape the pain and begin in happiness love and guidance , cause i'am a creater of my own world and a love of my own soul i live in peace and in harmony and in style.
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    my goal

    By inbetween on June 29th 2009, the wee hours.
    on topic Your past then future!
    i have let others step all over me and it is enough. i am done chasing others and done of tying to fix things that are obviously not getting any better. i have decided to chase after that is worth having and fixing relationships that is worth keeping.
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    [past - present - future]

    By LittleAnn on June 29th 2009, early morning.
    on topic Your past then future!
    wow
    i dont even know where to start
    i've been through so much
    and sometimes i feel really old
    although i'm just 17
    well... i guess it all started when i was born
    i had quite a happy childhood
    not much to complain about
    although i spent most of my early years with my grandparents
    because my parents used to work all day and night
    so now, why am i still wondering
    why i'm not that close to my parents?
    i went to kindergarten
    i went to school
    i was best in my class
    i had good grades in any subject... besides p.e.
    but i was not graded on that
    in year four, i had the best average of my entire school
    1.0, the best you can get according to the german grading system
    i had lots of friends...
    or, well, kids who used to argue about
    whose turn it was to play with ME
    because they liked me so much
    gosh, now in restrospect this all seems so ridiculous
    in the summer holidays after year 3
    i heard of "God" for the first time
    i'd never before spent just a minute
    on the thought
    that, possibly, there might be "someone"
    who has created everything
    i heard of Jesus for the first time
    and why He came to this earth
    why He lived and died
    and i realized
    that this is the truth
    or, rather God made me realize He exists
    and He loves me
    and that i need a Saviour
    my Saviour is called Jesus Christ
    He is the Son of God
    who sacrificed Himself
    so i can live
    and i am so thankful
    i accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour
    about a year later
    i gave my life to Jesus
    and promised i wanted to live according to His will
    but i had no idea what that meant
    soon things got back to 'normal'
    i came home
    nothing had changed
    normal... normal... normal...
    but what meaning does the word "normal" have
    when you've just become a Christian?
    nothing, i guess
    and then, a really hard time began for me
    i was depressed for a few years
    i only saw the negative things
    it took me a long time
    to see the beauty in all the things the Lord has created
    it took me so long
    to realize
    that accepting God as the Lord of my life
    meant freedom
    freedom from being a slave of satan
    freedom
    freedom
    freedom
    wow, it feels so great to type out that word after all those years
    of despair and loneliness
    and after finally realizing
    there is so much more to life
    one crucial "encounter" was
    when i heard Eric Ball preach
    about getting things right
    with our fellow people
    and most of all, with God
    i am so thankful that God
    used this man to show me the things
    i needed to fix in my life
    so i could be truly free
    and - praise be to the Lord forever - it worked!
    i am truly free now!
    i want to sing and dance and praise God
    for the wonderful things
    he has done
    thank You, Lord!
    so wonderful...
    and i got baptized last year
    to finally
    proclaim publicly
    that i am a follower of Jesus Christ
    of the only true Lord Who is God
    there were still ups and downs
    but all in all
    i am pretty sure the past year has been
    the happiest time i've ever had in my life so far
    and now, what will the future bring?
    i don't know
    i'll lay it all in the Lord's hands
    ask Him for guidance
    and trust that He will show me the right way
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    Steve

    By WritethePainAway on July 2nd 2009, the wee hours.
    on topic Your past then future!
    Pain, torture, torment, guilt racks every second of my day. Will it ever end? Dear God, save me from these memories, it wasn't my fault they say, but I know better.
    I should have put a bow around her neck and a card that read
    "Here have some fun, Fuck her up just like you did me, Love lots & thanks again"
    Will it ever end?
    Your gone but I swear if you died your ghost would stay in my head.
    It's like a never ending nightmare.
    Duhnuht duhnuht duhnuht.
    Look here he comes, dive behind a clothes rack like a little puss.
    You're no better then her.
    Fucking hiding from the truth.
    No more tears you say, no more, no more
    Come on now, be honest, those tears are choking you like a collar pulled too tight.
    Breathe,
    Good bitch.
    Just like you to do what they want.
    Follow in line, destory lives.
    Good bitch.
    Jesus is that what you want to be?
    Come now.
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    stop judging me

    By saz 09 on July 9th 2009, early evening.
    on topic Your past then future!
    my past a time i wish i could have long ago forgotten. Hidden tortures of my life that to this day people do not know about. I have this huge black hole appearing around my feet and it appears to be getting bigger will i be swallowed up into it and taken away into the firey mists of hell and left to burn? My tortured soul screaming with fierce meaning but nobody can hear me? As you are all tucked up in your comfy beds in egyptian cotton sheets can noone hear my sorrow or feel my pain? will i ever be allowed to forget my past because right now it controls my life and i cannot get a grip and hold myself together. I feel as if i have something inside me that is gnawing and gnawing away trying its hardest to get out and there is some anger that is boiling over my surface that i hope never comes out because it will be such a nasty explosion. Like if you shake a fizzy pop bottle for ages and then suddenley let the top off the fizz explodes everywhere sending a mass of bubbly liquid in every direction. I had some bad things happen to me most of which you will never even begin to understand i am 19 years pold for fucks sake. i am a mom and i am trying so god damn hard to live in the future and forget my past but the things you say are constant reminders of what i once was and i dont want to hear them. I am sick of feeling like i should never live a happy normal life with my family beccause of what i once did. it is so unfair and i just wan to forget all of it. can you never understand that? i sit here and scalding hot tears roll down my flushed cheeks and beads of sweat lie on my forehead like dew on morning flowers here i am again worrying about what you think of me but really i dnt care, why should i care? i have been the centre if criticism and judgment for years and years so to be honest it doesnt hurt that much anymore.
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