Walking Away
Dismaying it is to reroute the course one’s spirit had taken.
It is gone…what’s gone? My mind, my peace?
No, not really.
I grapple with the connotation and I’m fine.
Nothing new, every time you killed me I was born again.
Did we ever share together glee, tears, reflection and devotion?
Did we register memories of us?
Why not? What was the snag?
Judgment, antipathy, distrust, haste, acrid unfettered insinuation, dual standards –
All fed like savage in you and made home.
On some quite tomorrow you may realize why you were −
A way of error, temple full of incineration,
In all effects contrary unto camaraderie and loyalty,
Slayer of repose, school of guile, gilded hook holding poisoned bait,
Maze wherein affection has no room,
Locus of my weariness.
I tried to heal you with love and kisses.
Naught could help whilst you had deep mistrust of my offer.
Course of your proclivity was ever contrary to my affection.
You had your own ways to pursue.
You failed to effectively talk to the mirror.
For my faith, ingratitude I found.
Depths of despair ate away at the connecting threads,
Nothing considered worth remained,
It became futile to hope, dream, pray.
You are putting on ice, giving room to chill of awful fright.
Your words create shadows of gray to haunt and torment.
I am stricken, dying for fresh breath.
I need to heal.
We must walk away.
Farewell to desire, oracle of my failure, my battle-axe.
May life be gentle to you, may God give you his best shelter.
Dismaying it is to reroute the course one’s spirit had taken.
It is gone…what’s gone? My mind, my peace?
No, not really.
I grapple with the connotation and I’m fine.
Nothing new, every time you killed me I was born again.
Did we ever share together glee, tears, reflection and devotion?
Did we register memories of us?
Why not? What was the snag?
Judgment, antipathy, distrust, haste, acrid unfettered insinuation, dual standards –
All fed like savage in you and made home.
On some quite tomorrow you may realize why you were −
A way of error, temple full of incineration,
In all effects contrary unto camaraderie and loyalty,
Slayer of repose, school of guile, gilded hook holding poisoned bait,
Maze wherein affection has no room,
Locus of my weariness.
I tried to heal you with love and kisses.
Naught could help whilst you had deep mistrust of my offer.
Course of your proclivity was ever contrary to my affection.
You had your own ways to pursue.
You failed to effectively talk to the mirror.
For my faith, ingratitude I found.
Depths of despair ate away at the connecting threads,
Nothing considered worth remained,
It became futile to hope, dream, pray.
You are putting on ice, giving room to chill of awful fright.
Your words create shadows of gray to haunt and torment.
I am stricken, dying for fresh breath.
I need to heal.
We must walk away.
Farewell to desire, oracle of my failure, my battle-axe.
May life be gentle to you, may God give you his best shelter.
Dont cry when i say goodbye
By XxXSilentlyDyingXxX on May 28th 2009, evening time.on topic Walking Away
I cant see
maybe i need to be the kind of girl that maybe with be the type he likes and maybe there will be a guy that makes me happy to see him everyday and may i not use this razorblade anymore i dont want to be sore to the damn core ill miss it but i wont need to kiss it.
Ill love anything in anyway i may just call up someone that can help with my problumes but i wont need to say goodbye will i i kinda just wnat to walk away from him the one thats holding me back i dont want to be the girl that wont date anyone cuz of one guy that just wont let me say gooddbye,
I love the guy so damn much but we just fought dont you see that you need a damn key
to this broken heart.
Dont cry when i say goodbye
maybe i need to be the kind of girl that maybe with be the type he likes and maybe there will be a guy that makes me happy to see him everyday and may i not use this razorblade anymore i dont want to be sore to the damn core ill miss it but i wont need to kiss it.
Ill love anything in anyway i may just call up someone that can help with my problumes but i wont need to say goodbye will i i kinda just wnat to walk away from him the one thats holding me back i dont want to be the girl that wont date anyone cuz of one guy that just wont let me say gooddbye,
I love the guy so damn much but we just fought dont you see that you need a damn key
to this broken heart.
Dont cry when i say goodbye
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By undone on June 1st 2009, early evening.
on topic Walking Away
on topic Walking Away
why cant i stay here?
i dont want to leave my mother...
not my brother..but the buzing at school is drowning out every sane thought i have ever had. i cant listen to tbe bees talk about my "bird habbits". iv never even kissed a guy and now boys are talking to me just because im easy in their eyes. what have i done to become such a bad person. i dont cry, but when it rains my tears fall with it. tiny bits of my soul drip on the ground and fall into puddles tht mesh with the rain. and soon enuf ill be gone completely... no more.
i dont want to leave my mother...
not my brother..but the buzing at school is drowning out every sane thought i have ever had. i cant listen to tbe bees talk about my "bird habbits". iv never even kissed a guy and now boys are talking to me just because im easy in their eyes. what have i done to become such a bad person. i dont cry, but when it rains my tears fall with it. tiny bits of my soul drip on the ground and fall into puddles tht mesh with the rain. and soon enuf ill be gone completely... no more.
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Good Bye Mourning Heart
By H34rt on June 4th 2009, mid-afternoon.on topic Walking Away
Did we ever really love each other the way my past memories recall to me how we were. Am I just blocking out the fact that you were never really mine. I loved you or so I thought I knew what love was when I was with you I just wanted the rest of the world to be gone everything with you meant more to me then anything else ever did or I thought ever would. I see you now with the family that you have made and you still insist on telling me that you will never love anyone like you loved me and maybe you won't but that still doesnt heal the scars that you have deepened in my soul I want my soul back I want the innocence you took from me I want to believe that if you truely loved me you would have left me to heal before you decided to scar me again and give me more scar tissue that is now even more visible to those around me. I try to hide that it hurts that you are creating a family that was suppose to be ours I try to hide that it hurts that I will neve be the one that sees you at the end of the isle on our wedding day I try to hide that all I want to do is either erase the past or have you back in my life. I try to hide that I know I need to walk away from you because all you have ever done is cause me more heartache then I ever had before you but before I walk away I need you to know that because of you I know how to put walls up that I know not to fall so fast that I know that I will have alot to look forward to when I finally have a man that respects me and wants me to share in his life and his dreams. Thank you for showing me that even though we ended badly that I am capable of having a long relationship and love someone with my whole heart thank you for showing me that I can be completely selfless when I love someone. Thank you for the self esteem you gave to me by giving me the confidence to not hide when something is wrong in a relationship thank you for showing me how to stand up for what I believe in even if the whole world is against it I loved you and I will always love the man I had in my life for four years but I will say goodbye to that man because he is no longer mine. It causes me too much pain to hear your voice even though at times I really need to hear it I know that my heart still aches even though it has been 2 years but I understand that the reason why it aches if because it mourns the love that we once had and I haven't found again to fill the void that you gave me on the day you ripped my heart out with the actions that you didn't think about the result it would have. I still ache for your touch but I have realized that I only ache because I am lonely not just for you but for a love that I know I deserve so please let me walk away and God give me the strength it takes to know that my life is better knowing what I know now from the love that we once had.
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Confused and sad
By pingping97 on June 8th 2009, late afternoon.on topic Walking Away
How do I walk away from one of the most special people in my life??
He gave me gifts, hugged me when I was down, and even gave up hanging out with his friends to be with me.
But, that's not all.
He sometimes didn't want to talk to me, text or call me, and even didn't sit with me when I was alone at lunch.
So how do I leave this boy who didn't give me at least most of his attention, but says he loves me with all his heart??
I want to leave, I really do.
But he lures me in with his caring and loving personality so I feel trapped and lost and sometimes even alone when I'm with him.
I love him, but does he still love me??
I must walk away before he uses me.
God, help me find the strength I have deep down in me to walk away. Please.
But in the end I'm the one with the broken heart.
He gave me gifts, hugged me when I was down, and even gave up hanging out with his friends to be with me.
But, that's not all.
He sometimes didn't want to talk to me, text or call me, and even didn't sit with me when I was alone at lunch.
So how do I leave this boy who didn't give me at least most of his attention, but says he loves me with all his heart??
I want to leave, I really do.
But he lures me in with his caring and loving personality so I feel trapped and lost and sometimes even alone when I'm with him.
I love him, but does he still love me??
I must walk away before he uses me.
God, help me find the strength I have deep down in me to walk away. Please.
But in the end I'm the one with the broken heart.
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Beautiful Nightmare
By H34rt on June 11st 2009, lunch time.on topic Walking Away
Loving you has made me this way I am bitter and cold inside I need to leave you behind so that someone else will have a better chance getting into this barred up room that use to be my heart. I loved you but you treated my heart like it was a doormat,something you can just step on and leave behind the muck you call your life. I am stronger today and know that if I turn my back on you Im not turning away because Im afraid but because I am stronger then you. Goodbye my beautiful nightmare.
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