Thekillerinside• Show poetry

My Poetry:
It's personal, i guess... Every thing i write has been experienced or is being experienced by me.

\*You Can't Kill Integrity - Throwdown (From the cd 'Beyond Repair').

So what now?
Where do we go from here?
The damage is so severe and what you've done will never fuckin be repaired.
But what's done is done, son.
You'll never understand, but here we are again, yeah here i am again.
And what the fuck is it gonna take?
How am i ever gonna make myself a man again
And bring myself to stand again?
On my own two fucking feet.
You better tell me what to do cus it's you this time that failed me.

You failed me.
You failed us all.
Nothing left for us to say.
Nothing more between you and me.
All my trust is gone.
But never my vindication.
Vindication.

So what the fuck?
Where do we go from here?
The damage is done so bite your tongue because your words will never be sincere.
What's done is done, son.
You'll never understand.
Blood on my hands again.
That's what it's gonna fucking take.
And you can bet your ass i'm gonna make you pay.
The time has come for you to see.
What you've done, what i've become and how you failed me.

You failed me.
You failed us all.
Nothing left for us to say.
Nothing more between you and me.
All my trust is gone.
But never my vindication.

You can't take my pride away from me.
The one thing you'll never take away.
You can't take my pride from me
And
that's all there is to say.
You can't kill integrity.
And that's all there is to say.
You can't take my pride from me.

But i've got one thing left to say.
Pay your debt to me.*\

Strong words, you might say and i may be inclined to agree. But when you try and dedicate your life to the love of others and are then let down badly so many times it gets to you eventually.
I used to box and one of the first things i learned was that eventually gettin hit in the face didn't hurt as much as time went by and you hardened yourself to it. But getting beat down emotionally never gets easier.
There's a line in a song that goes 'My skin is like a map of where my heart has been' and that is a line i could use to equate to my life... The scars and everything are there to see.. But the worst ones reside within me, and i fear that those will never heal...
My experiences are outlined in my poetry so please feel free to browse around the garden that is my mind and maybe you'll find solace and comfort there for a while.. But beware, there goes I and sometimes the path grows a little dark...
Welcome to my world

I am so lucky in the fact that i have had some awesome people who have come into my life and i have taken something from each and every one of them. Lucy and Cherry have given without taking and i'll always have that.

I am honoured to be in a relationship with my darling Fern... She is helping me come to terms with my past, present and future and every day with her is incredible and a steep learning curve for me. Please check out her writing - Fallen-angel-fern, it's inspirational to me, like her.

There are many damn good poets on this site..
I recommend the following:

Zonia: A incredibly insightful and wonderful poet and a truly Gentle Soul  
Ronnie62: Underrated, even by herself, and a warm and loving person who deserves to be read
mesmerise: My son - Incredible writer - must have got it off his mum lol
Lonely In Life - My Daughter.. Intense!!

I have a degree in philosophy and a masters degree in computing as well as 'A' levels in English, Maths, Sociology, History and Philosophy.

I Also have a band called Freebase.. Check us out at www.freebase-ukhc.com
I am also a guitarist in Set Against (no web page)
I play American Football for The Yorkshire Rams. I'm #69 and play RG on the offensive line www.yorkshirerams.com