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I have heard alot of compliments from friends for this poem, so I would like any constructive criticism. Anything that may help me.
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Hereth come the passive sun
like a passover
by LeanneBridgewater
46 lines, 1 comment,
on Sep 2 10:05 AM. In Contest, Dark, astrology, alcohol, nature, black, old, ancient, alchemy
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A color with meaning Depression of losing the one love,
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I was born a child of rainbowness..of mixed
united birth...
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The black rose lays alone.
Crimson drips down the stem.
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Wearing black
Slipping through the crowds
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Beauty of the night,
Lasting forever,
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White Man says black is impure
Color of death
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The Summer's left me with a broken heart,
solitude's the only escape
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Solem speach
Blistering Cold.
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Eine schwarze Nacht
Black night
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by when she loved me
16 lines, 6 comments,
on Dec 17 2:01 AM 2007. In Death, Heartless, Dead, Fucked, Black, Sad, Self hate, Pain, Lost, Confuse, Suffering
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When I look into your eyes
All I see is the Pain that forms
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by Relentlessly yours
22 lines,
on Dec 15 12:42 AM 2007. In Death, Dead, Curse, Karma, Destiny, Heartless, Me, Truth, Hell, Animal, Black, Sick
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Fire and Coal
by Kia Tenshi
18 lines, 2 comments,
on Nov 21 11:56 AM 2007. In abuse, pain, sad, emo, dark, thoughts, loss, anger, rage, contest, black
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Yet again in the lab you find me in deep
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I know people who breathe black
The smoke bellowing out
by Beverlique
10 lines, 12 comments,
on Nov 10 11:40 PM 2007. In addiction, beathes, Black, Personal, Thoughts, Life, Death, Colors, Smoke, S
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As I wither away and my black petals fall...
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She stands in the middle of the road,
her feet screwed to the asphalt...
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Seductive and shiny your slippery sheath
Beautiful black barrier hides what's underneath
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Flowing fields of black
Roses the hue of night
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dress black as the night
lips red as a rose
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They say that black is an evil color
They say it's for the dead
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If my heart had beat just a little longer,
I would have commited the greatest sins of all
by Figg
55 lines, 7 comments,
on Sep 12 8:14 PM 2007. In demon, angel, heaven, hell, hate, black, death, regret, anger, struggle
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