Something.more• Show poetry

okay;; im nicole
i write. it's what i do. and what i've always done.
i've only got a couple close friends and i like that. a lot.
i love being a dancer &+ i spent seven years dedicatiing my life to that. but i had to quit- and that is one of the hardest things for me right now.
music is my everything . i'd die without it.
i prefer dark, more depressing music because its more real and relatable. if you don't get that i'm sorry.
happy songs depress me. its normal if i'd tell you why. maybe one day i will?

there are things that i will never give up:
i've read the same book of edgar allen poe's poetry every night before bed- for 2 1/2 years.
i write for me and no one else- that will never ever change.
i keep as far away from my grandparents graves as i can- i hate to cry.
there are lyrics to songs by THE CURE &+ THE REPLACEMENTS hidden under my turntable- for when i get lonely, or when i really need to calm my emottions.
in my house are 23 copies of "Invictus" (a poem by william ernest henley)- it keeps me from falling apart.

i'm inspired by random things but there are two poems that made me want to write more than anything else..

The Funeral Blues- W.H. Auden
and
Invictus- William Ernest Henley


i'm

F. ucked up
I. nsecure
N. eurotic
E. motionally unstable.

^^
see i really am fine...

yes, yes; life IS perfect.
p.ainful
e.motional
r.eally hard
f.ucked up
e.asy to ignore
c.atastrophic
t.earful
^
it truly iss.



my life sucks most of the time,
and my heart is so shattered and beaten it's barely there.
there are days i think i have nothing to live for,
and nights when i wish i was anything but me.
i would love to feel love,
but i'm lucky i even know what happy is anymore.
i don't know who i am or where i'm going,
but i know it's gonna be hard to get there at all.


nobody will ever really know me,
i'm too guarded.
i don't even think i know myself...
i'm a real piece of work.


^^
quoting fall out boy here (song= what a catch, donnie)
I'VE GOT TROUBLED THOUGHTS
AND THE SELF-ESTEEM TO MATCH,
WHAT A CATCH.
^^
some of my favorite lyrics of all time.