Silentlyscreaming.• Show poetry

hey, i'm brooke. im a junior in highschool.
i've had lots of shit happen in my life and i just dont know what to do or who to turn to anymore. writing has become my outlet, because i dont like opening up to people and letting them know how i feel. i have very big trust issues that i just can't seem to get over. i keep things bottled up inside of me. i honestly don't like the person i have become or the things that i do, so i am trying really hard to change who i am now and become a better person.
i write a lot of poetry though i dont post much of it. i have my own style. a lot of times my poems' rythms or beat will change in the middle of it, but that's just how i write. words and phrases have to be said in certain ways for my poems to flow the right way. i write them like that because that's how i read them. i barely ever like what i write, but i like most stuff i read of other people's, whether its actually better than mine or not.




hmm..some random quotes, lyrics, sayings, and parts of poems i like =]

&& she finally gave up©©
she dropped the fake smile,
and as a tear ran down her cheek
she whispered to herself
"i can't do this anymore."

dont tell me again to hold on tight
we all know i wont win this fight
try and try and try again
failing now

Stay with me, i want to be alone.

a true friend can see the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.

see me now
all strength is gone
no longer able to hold on
weaker than ever
they dont care

A shot to kill the pain
A pill to drain the shame
A purge to stop the gain
A cut to break the vein
A smoke to ease the crave
A drink to win the game
An addictions an addiction
Because it always hurts the same

hold close the truth that you dont know
cling to the lies you think are real
there is so much that you dont know
there is so much that i've yet to reveal

Crying on the inside
Bleeding on the outside

&& do you even care?
if i killed myself now,
you would live.
without me

Don't tell me who I am; because unless I write all my thoughts downon a piece of paper and hand it to you, you don't even know half my life.

Its easier to put up a
fake side of you
then to let someone in
to see the person thats true

For some moments in life,
there are no words

this hollow laughter
running dry.
breaking down,
its time to cry.

and now the world is on my shoulders
pushing me down
im trying but i dont know
if i can do this on my own
im trying but i dont know
if i can do this alone

i try to remain angry with you
but this i cannot do
and itd be easier to heal
if your hate for me was real

my eyes are shut so tight
i cant find home
in losing this fight
someone take me to a place
so i can find hope
so i can feel safe

i got lost in your words
and it took so long
to find the way out
been trapped in your earth
ive been here for so long
im ready to leave now

You ask so much of me,
soon I'll have nothing left to give.
So busy trying to survive
that i forgot to live.
I'm so tired nowadays
but there's no time to sleep.
I'm going way over my head,
I'm sinking much too deep

Please forgive me, i beg of you,
i never meant to be this way.
I'm sorry i'm your fuckin failure
and not the daughter you hoped i'd be.

i never do well on my own
left with thoughts id never show
you left me here and i dont know
if ill ever find my way home

They say one day your life
will flash before your eyes.
make it worth watching

I've given up...
I'm sick of living
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me

ill write words when i cant cry
ill scribble rhymes when i want to die
my words will save me
my words will save me

Never take life seriously.
Nobody gets out alive anyways

The only people you need in life are the ones who need you in theirs.

Bottled up pain I hold inside,
Pain I try so hard to hide

and as i look at these pictures
i realize these pictures are lieing,
because in them i'm smiling
but really i'm crying

sometimes, even when you're
having the time of your life..
you can`t help but to stop && think
about how how much youu miss
[ the good old days ]

Sunny smiles,
Lonely tears,
Deaf from the screams,
That no one hears,
Hiding all the hurt,
And disguising all the pain,
Behind the happy eyes,
Running from the shame,
No cuts on the outside,
But a bleeding heart,
At the end of the day,
Falling apart,
Dressing the truth up,
With poetic lies,
Drowning in the problems,
She still foolishly denies.

Those who say sunshine brings happiness have never danced in the rain.

Trust is like a vase;
once it's broken,
though you can fix it
the vase will never be same again

Learn from yesterday
Live for today
Hope for tomorrow.

and they whisper
'look at her, shes holding on
kill her kill her
she isnt that strong'
your right
your right
im not that strong

It's so hard to dry my tears when every time i turn around there's another reason to cry.

There's only me and my reflection in this room...
i don't know which one i hate the most.

why do i even bother putting on eyeliner when all i do is cry it off?

I'm living in this world because I'm afraid to leave.

They say to cry is to know you're alive but my river of tears has run dry.

Sometimes I'm selfish fake
You're always a true friend
I don't deserve you
'Cause I'm not there for you
Oh I wish I would be

'Cause I hear the whispered words
In your masterpiece beautiful
You speak the unspeakable through
I love you too

Thank you for being such a friend to me
Oh I pray a friend for life,
And have I ever told you how much you mean to me?
Oh you're everything to me
Thinking all the time how to tell you what I feel,
Contemplating phrases....I'm gazing at eternity,
I am floating in serenity...
And I am so lost for words
And I am so overwhelmed

A year goes by
And I can't talk about it
My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

I know
days will come and go
maybe i will grow old
but i will die
for now
is it worth it to be sad?
it is harder to be glad
to be alive
for the trouble i have caused
i wonder
where do i belong?
is it here?

When I said good morning,
I was lying,
I was truly thinking of,
How I might quit waking up,

It feels so much like falling,
Dying while I wait to die,
The fear of something or nothing,
Lonely empty lie

All my efforts to clean me
Leave me putrid and filthy
And how can you look at me
When I can't stand myself

Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have