Shattered beauty• Show poetry

Ok so i've seen other people write their story on their page so I"ll guess I'll write mines.


I can't say i have a bad life.I was never raped or abused, molested or put down,nothing like that. The most pain that goes on is inside of myself. I'm basically just living a life of lies.

I have a huge family! i just never met any of them. All my ancestors died by the time I was about 7 so I never really heard about my family or went to a family reunion. The family I do have doesn't care to much about me... so it's really just me and my mother.

My father is an idiot. he has 5 kids and 4 different mothers( he had 2 kids with his recently ex-wife). He cheated on my mother and stepmother than later on admitted he never love any of the women he slept with( what a ). I look the most like him and i hate it. He treats me and my mother like crap about 95% of the time but now that he's all alone he's realized I will be the only 1 who might just come to visit his grave when he dies so he acts better.

when i was little I was the sweet little fat kid. most of the time i was bullied by boys i would never stand up to. so by second grade I turned into the bully. I wasn't my fault though i had to if i wanted to survive without being someone's groupie and hiding behind them all the time. Even thought i was a bully i was still the teachers pet and still got straight a's.

by the time i hit 6-7 grade the streotypes kicked in. I never had a real boyfriend because i was still fat,dark-skin, too smart, and had a major acne problem.because of the obesity I got my period early and had to deal with the pain of womanhood. so i basically just dreamed of the perfect man and cried about not having anybody to love me.

As i got older i got more depressed even went goth for a while and loss alot of confidence. The only boys that liked me where either desprate to have someone to parade around or just doing it out of pity. Then the thought of cutting and bulimia came up. they sounded like the best ideas ever.I just could'nt go through with them.So i kept my head up, kept praying, and hanging onto that little shred of hope.

now i'm in sophomore in highschool and I'm a little better. the hate for myself has died down. My confidence is still low but not my self esteem. I gotta admit i do still cry... alot about not having love but i've realized its just my way of purifing myself. I don't always put on a fake smile, sometimes their real. let's jut say i have my good days and bad days.