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Randy johnson

My Poetry

1 - 4 of 752   Show all • Search
  • A case of the shits
    That chinese food gave me a case of the shits.
    I'm going to the bathroom over and over and I'm about to have a fit.
    4 lines, November 3. In Humor
  • I work for the IRS
    I regret to say that I work for the IRS.
    If you're wondering if people hate me, the answer is yes.
    9 lines, 1 comment, August 16. In Humor
  • Knighted
    The Queen knighted me and she cut off one of my ears.
    I tried to be brave about it but I burst into tears.
    5 lines, August 12. In Humor
  • Pull the trigger
    You think you're bad as you wave that gun around.
    It will thrill you to put me under the ground.
    11 lines, August 1. In Other

My Stories

1 - 3 of 181   Show all at storywrite
  • Wal-mart's blunder
    The people who run the Wal-mart stores are trying to make their employees vote for McCain.1
    90 lines, 1 comment, August 9, 2008. In <600 words, Poem
  • I'm not a God
    I'm not a God but I am loved by one.1
    39 lines, 1 comment, August 5, 2008. In <600 words, Poem, Religious
  • Corporal Capeman
    He was Corporal Capeman and he wanted to fly like a bird.1 / He was very ugly and he was also an annoying nerd.2 / He was a grown man who a
    78 lines, July 30, 2008. In , Humor, Poem

My other items

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  • Where's the damn mayo?! at sharepoetry
    My sandwich didn't have any mayo so I sent it back. / The waitress spit on it so I gave her a smack. / They put me in jail and the prisoners raped me six times. / You'd better listen when I tell you never to commit a crime.
  • The stray at sharepoetry
    Your owner abandoned you because he or she didn't want you anymore. / I'm going to take better care of you than your former owner did before. / You've been abused because you have a couple of gashes on your head. / You've had a hard life and it's be
  • I voted against Phil Bredesen at sharepoetry
    Many people voted for Phil Bredesen but I didn't agree with their selection. / I voted against him in last years election. / Some people like him a lot. / But I have to say that I do not. / I wish he wasn't the Governor of Tennessee. / He's pass

Guest Book

1 - 1 of 1
  • JadeFlame on July 28, 2006
    I was just reading through your fictional poems and thought I'd say that they are hilarious. Haven't laughed this hard in a while (which is a bad thing as I am at work!). Keep up the good work!

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