[Violent J:]
The first time, I didn't even feel guilty
Never washed off, stayed bloody and filthy
Just laid there next to the kid all night
Kind of soaking it all in, and feeling alright
I wasn't even old enough to drive yet, it was hell
I had to put him on my handlebars and dump him down a well
I try to feed of that until I couldn't anymore
By my sixteenth birthday, my total had grown to four.
[Monoxide:]
I ain't afraid of you, but be afraid of me
Cause when the lights go down, there ain't no stopping me
Memories of my first real killing
They found her all tied up, just hanging from the ceiling.
What I was feeling was just so dark and twisted
I couldn't believe I just did this.
Now I'm stuck in my very own private Hell
Will I ever do it again? Time will tell.
[Chorus:]
My first time
I was in control until the blood
It was my first time
The bloody mess I had to clean up
It was my first time
I know this ain't right
It was my first time
I finally took someone else's life
[Shaggy:]
Every time I lay my ass down to sleep
I pray to fuck these memories seize
Bloody face and final breaths taken
But the first, uh, what was I thinking?
Just a piece of rope and a pair of hands
It was a man, but she kept talking man
Suffocation, through the mouth breathing
I chocked her for the very first time for no reason.
[Blaze:]
It was eleven on my clock, I remember that much
In the graveyard waiting for the dope man to show up
Ten minuets pasts, and there's still no sign
Just then off in the night, I see some headlights
A car rolls by, driving slow and I don't know
I thought it was my folk, I ain't pulled the .44
They stopped the ride, started blasting
The fist time I didn't pull the heat
Damn, this what happened
[Chorus:]
My first time
I was in control until the blood
It was my first time
The bloody mess I had to clean up
It was my first time
I know this ain't right
It was my first time
I finally took someone else's life
[Madrox:]
First time my knife touched skin
And the red blood started flowing so quick I just couldn't quit
Kept stabbing until everything that I seen was red
The pillow, the blankets, the walls, and even the bed
One color dominating everything like contemporary art
Am I the killer or artist with bloody heart?
Then I curled into a ball in the corner of the room
Feeling like a creep in the light of the moon.
[ABK:]
If I took this gun and put a hole in your chest
It won't compare to the first time I put someone to rest
Kind of like a dream, but on a nightmare level
Every time I think about it I can still hear the shovel
Diggin' deep into the dirt to try to hide the pain
Knowing I got away with something I'll regret in the end
I really shouldn't have never done it
But fuck it, I did him in
The first person that I killed was my first best friend
[Chorus:]
My first time
I was in control until the blood
It was my first time
The bloody mess I had to clean up
It was my first time
I know this ain't right
It was my first time
I finally took someone else's life
Someone else's life first
Someone else's life
[I][N][T][R][O][D][U][C][I][N][G]:: [//JiNX//]
(A NEW CHAPTER BEGINS)
-JUGGALOZ && LETTES- Sorry to be all deep and serious but I got lots of shit on my mind. I'm tired of everything and everybody. The only thing I give a shit about in this hell we call a world is my Juggalo Family. The carnival saved my life and my soul. My Juggalo Pride is the best thing that ever happened to me. It's starting to scare me for the fact when I sit back and actually observe the juggalo world, It seems like its going down hill. It seems to me that a lot of ninjas are out for self and trying to prove whos a bigger juggalo than who. There is no big or small juggalo. We are all the same. It doesn't take $4,000 in psychopathic merchandise to be a juggalo. Just because I got an old school mostastless jersey doesn't make me any better than a ninja with only one t-shirt. Being a juggalo is whats in your heart not whats on your clothes. I've seen juggalos callin each other juggahoes over spots in line at shows. That's BULLSHIT! Does anyone else realize this? Does anyone else feel the pain I do when my heart bleeds as I watch my family fall apart? We are all equal. Juggalos should not fight with one another! Remember? We are suppose to love each other! We need to be reunited as one once again. Just as we were before. " From the first jokers card, Carnival Of Carnage, to the latest card. The Wraith: Shangri-La, we have been united as one by the powers of the Dark Carnival, the power that brings us together and makes us who we are, never again must you care what people think of you or what you do, this is our world and we live for each other!" If you own a copy of Dark Lotus, as soon as you get a chance, I want you to sit down and listen to ..15 enititled, "Juggalo Family." When the song is over, think about what it means and think about how it makes you feel. If yall want to laugh then go ahead but personally, The first time I hears that song was at The Gathering of The Juggalos 2001 and when I listened to the words and took a look around at all the juggalos faces, ters slowly came from my eyes and I thought to myself, "this is my family." It felt so good to know that the only thing I care about is right here with me. My juggalo family is the only thing true in my life. Nothing else has ever made me feel good. No person place or thing has ever looked at me as part of their family. If you own a computer, get on a website such as realjuggalos.com and click on the icon "juggalos" search through the page and take a look at all of them and just think, each of them consider you family, each of these people can be trusted with your life just as they trust you with your life. We shouldn't be fighting, we should be giving each other hugs and saying, " I clown love you ninja!" To any of you that have web sites, I would greatly appreciate it if you could post this on your site. If you happen to have access to a copy machine, please make copies and give this to as many juggalos as possible. I want to make sure every juggalo world wide reads this letter. I'm gain to do my damnest to to saveour juggalo world and reunite it, not only that but make our family bigger. We have over two million dedicated juggalos in the world but we must also be dedicated to each other. My heart, mind, body and soul goes out to each and every one of you. If you don't remember anything from this, at least remember this, " mass murder makes me happy, dead bodies make me happy, say what you will of me, I'll always have juggalo family" -Dark Lotus- We are juggalos, united we stand Forever dude that was deep as fuck but you know it still rung true. just because there juggalos and juggalettes out there who are uber rich and shit dont mean they any better than anyone else in THIS family and in THIS world. personally i based my whole existance on the fam and my favorite song of all time is juggalo family because it reminds me of the older days when we was all the same...no better or no worse just because of our finacial status or our educational status or how much weed we smoke or how much we drink or what we do or whether or not we have a hatchet man tatooed on our bodies or a 24 karat gold hatchet man hanging off our necks and shit! its all good to rep the hatchet and i hope everyone always will but just because you have the means to get that 24 karat hatchet man with tons of diamonds and shit doesnt mean your anymore of a juggalo/lette than anyone else in our family! as long as you have the love for everyone else in this fam you are a TRUE juggalo! and thats all that matters...so to everone out there who thinks they're more of a juggalo than someone else cuz you have more shit...you aint a fuckin juggalo your a bitch!
-------------------------------------------------
[Violent J:]
"And they wanted to know if I would trade 10 juggalos for a 100 main stream fans And I said I wouldn't trade 10 juggalos for a 100,000 mainstream fans 10 juggalos is priceless"
[Blaze Ya Dead Homie:]
I gots love for my homies, members of the Lotus
United we stand, squashing all deadly forces
Been to hell, could of spent eternity there
All the bad shit I've done, I should still be there
Juggalos can ya feel me, feel me, worldwide, worldwide
Running with the hatchet straight out the Lotus Pod
Always got your back till end screaming juggalos
Dark lotus, psychopathic that's the way you go
[Monoxide Child:]
So many people in the matrix die alone, hey
Not me, my soul belongs to juggalos, they
Keep me going when I'm down and out
I pick up the phone drop them a line and here them shout
Saying Twiztid is the shit, and I'm down with the clown
Dark Lotus for life until I'm dead in the ground!
I give a shout to all my homies and killas who keep me started
All my juggalos always representing when departed
[Chorus:]
Mass murder makes me happy!
Dead bodies make me happy!
Say what you will of me!
I'll always have juggalo family!
Mass murder makes me happy!
Dead bodies make me happy!
Say what you will of me!
I'll always have juggalo family!
[Shaggy 2 Dope:]
6 individuals pedals fall from 1 stem
Who try to run away and not follow any trends, with no friends
Cause we accend from the same dirt, filth, grit, and grime
Make your mind, juggalo minds to crush mainstream shines
Whats yours is mine it was mines is yours
Let the wagons of the Dark Carnival show you different worlds
Any hoes front a juggalos or the hatchet
Tell them to come suck on your dick, we psychopathic!
[Jamie Madrox:]
All my life I've been living it all alone
I'm like a king with no people or a crown or a throne
And what I'm speaking on is what I'm feeling like
Do you know what it feels like to feel the warmth of the sunlight
I'd really like to know cause I've been chilling in the dark
For so many years that I question love in my heart
And I hate everyone, and I hate everything
Except for all the juggalos and the love that they bring!
[Chorus]
[Anybody Killa:]
Let my get your ear, I'mma make myself clear
It's the L family, Juggalos Right here
You can take away my mic, you can take away my life
But the love that we got it ain't never gonna stop
We eternal, past the surf of bullshit
Dawgs on another level, can you feel this?
It's twiztid, Blazed and ICP
And if you fuckin' with my dawgs, boy, you D-I-E
[Violent J:]
If it wasn't for Shaggy my shirt would still be baggy
I wouldn't be fat, I'd still be hungry and crabby
We used to buy our own records at the stores
So they would think it's a hot seller, and order more
But we built a team of same killers with the same dream
But we couldn't reach the top, we'd stay B level like Charlie Sheen
We finally realized we will always have the juggalos
I'll never give another second, to the mother hoes!
[Chorus x3]
Lotus!!!
Lotus!!! Lotus!!! Lotus!!! Lotus!!!
"And they wanted to know if I would trade 10 juggalos for a 100 main stream fans And i said I wouldn't trade 10 juggalos for a 100,000 mainstream fans 10 juggalos is priceless"
Much Clown Love . . > x o x o
The first time, I didn't even feel guilty
Never washed off, stayed bloody and filthy
Just laid there next to the kid all night
Kind of soaking it all in, and feeling alright
I wasn't even old enough to drive yet, it was hell
I had to put him on my handlebars and dump him down a well
I try to feed of that until I couldn't anymore
By my sixteenth birthday, my total had grown to four.
[Monoxide:]
I ain't afraid of you, but be afraid of me
Cause when the lights go down, there ain't no stopping me
Memories of my first real killing
They found her all tied up, just hanging from the ceiling.
What I was feeling was just so dark and twisted
I couldn't believe I just did this.
Now I'm stuck in my very own private Hell
Will I ever do it again? Time will tell.
[Chorus:]
My first time
I was in control until the blood
It was my first time
The bloody mess I had to clean up
It was my first time
I know this ain't right
It was my first time
I finally took someone else's life
[Shaggy:]
Every time I lay my ass down to sleep
I pray to fuck these memories seize
Bloody face and final breaths taken
But the first, uh, what was I thinking?
Just a piece of rope and a pair of hands
It was a man, but she kept talking man
Suffocation, through the mouth breathing
I chocked her for the very first time for no reason.
[Blaze:]
It was eleven on my clock, I remember that much
In the graveyard waiting for the dope man to show up
Ten minuets pasts, and there's still no sign
Just then off in the night, I see some headlights
A car rolls by, driving slow and I don't know
I thought it was my folk, I ain't pulled the .44
They stopped the ride, started blasting
The fist time I didn't pull the heat
Damn, this what happened
[Chorus:]
My first time
I was in control until the blood
It was my first time
The bloody mess I had to clean up
It was my first time
I know this ain't right
It was my first time
I finally took someone else's life
[Madrox:]
First time my knife touched skin
And the red blood started flowing so quick I just couldn't quit
Kept stabbing until everything that I seen was red
The pillow, the blankets, the walls, and even the bed
One color dominating everything like contemporary art
Am I the killer or artist with bloody heart?
Then I curled into a ball in the corner of the room
Feeling like a creep in the light of the moon.
[ABK:]
If I took this gun and put a hole in your chest
It won't compare to the first time I put someone to rest
Kind of like a dream, but on a nightmare level
Every time I think about it I can still hear the shovel
Diggin' deep into the dirt to try to hide the pain
Knowing I got away with something I'll regret in the end
I really shouldn't have never done it
But fuck it, I did him in
The first person that I killed was my first best friend
[Chorus:]
My first time
I was in control until the blood
It was my first time
The bloody mess I had to clean up
It was my first time
I know this ain't right
It was my first time
I finally took someone else's life
Someone else's life first
Someone else's life
[I][N][T][R][O][D][U][C][I][N][G]:: [//JiNX//]
(A NEW CHAPTER BEGINS)
-JUGGALOZ && LETTES- Sorry to be all deep and serious but I got lots of shit on my mind. I'm tired of everything and everybody. The only thing I give a shit about in this hell we call a world is my Juggalo Family. The carnival saved my life and my soul. My Juggalo Pride is the best thing that ever happened to me. It's starting to scare me for the fact when I sit back and actually observe the juggalo world, It seems like its going down hill. It seems to me that a lot of ninjas are out for self and trying to prove whos a bigger juggalo than who. There is no big or small juggalo. We are all the same. It doesn't take $4,000 in psychopathic merchandise to be a juggalo. Just because I got an old school mostastless jersey doesn't make me any better than a ninja with only one t-shirt. Being a juggalo is whats in your heart not whats on your clothes. I've seen juggalos callin each other juggahoes over spots in line at shows. That's BULLSHIT! Does anyone else realize this? Does anyone else feel the pain I do when my heart bleeds as I watch my family fall apart? We are all equal. Juggalos should not fight with one another! Remember? We are suppose to love each other! We need to be reunited as one once again. Just as we were before. " From the first jokers card, Carnival Of Carnage, to the latest card. The Wraith: Shangri-La, we have been united as one by the powers of the Dark Carnival, the power that brings us together and makes us who we are, never again must you care what people think of you or what you do, this is our world and we live for each other!" If you own a copy of Dark Lotus, as soon as you get a chance, I want you to sit down and listen to ..15 enititled, "Juggalo Family." When the song is over, think about what it means and think about how it makes you feel. If yall want to laugh then go ahead but personally, The first time I hears that song was at The Gathering of The Juggalos 2001 and when I listened to the words and took a look around at all the juggalos faces, ters slowly came from my eyes and I thought to myself, "this is my family." It felt so good to know that the only thing I care about is right here with me. My juggalo family is the only thing true in my life. Nothing else has ever made me feel good. No person place or thing has ever looked at me as part of their family. If you own a computer, get on a website such as realjuggalos.com and click on the icon "juggalos" search through the page and take a look at all of them and just think, each of them consider you family, each of these people can be trusted with your life just as they trust you with your life. We shouldn't be fighting, we should be giving each other hugs and saying, " I clown love you ninja!" To any of you that have web sites, I would greatly appreciate it if you could post this on your site. If you happen to have access to a copy machine, please make copies and give this to as many juggalos as possible. I want to make sure every juggalo world wide reads this letter. I'm gain to do my damnest to to saveour juggalo world and reunite it, not only that but make our family bigger. We have over two million dedicated juggalos in the world but we must also be dedicated to each other. My heart, mind, body and soul goes out to each and every one of you. If you don't remember anything from this, at least remember this, " mass murder makes me happy, dead bodies make me happy, say what you will of me, I'll always have juggalo family" -Dark Lotus- We are juggalos, united we stand Forever dude that was deep as fuck but you know it still rung true. just because there juggalos and juggalettes out there who are uber rich and shit dont mean they any better than anyone else in THIS family and in THIS world. personally i based my whole existance on the fam and my favorite song of all time is juggalo family because it reminds me of the older days when we was all the same...no better or no worse just because of our finacial status or our educational status or how much weed we smoke or how much we drink or what we do or whether or not we have a hatchet man tatooed on our bodies or a 24 karat gold hatchet man hanging off our necks and shit! its all good to rep the hatchet and i hope everyone always will but just because you have the means to get that 24 karat hatchet man with tons of diamonds and shit doesnt mean your anymore of a juggalo/lette than anyone else in our family! as long as you have the love for everyone else in this fam you are a TRUE juggalo! and thats all that matters...so to everone out there who thinks they're more of a juggalo than someone else cuz you have more shit...you aint a fuckin juggalo your a bitch!
-------------------------------------------------
[Violent J:]
"And they wanted to know if I would trade 10 juggalos for a 100 main stream fans And I said I wouldn't trade 10 juggalos for a 100,000 mainstream fans 10 juggalos is priceless"
[Blaze Ya Dead Homie:]
I gots love for my homies, members of the Lotus
United we stand, squashing all deadly forces
Been to hell, could of spent eternity there
All the bad shit I've done, I should still be there
Juggalos can ya feel me, feel me, worldwide, worldwide
Running with the hatchet straight out the Lotus Pod
Always got your back till end screaming juggalos
Dark lotus, psychopathic that's the way you go
[Monoxide Child:]
So many people in the matrix die alone, hey
Not me, my soul belongs to juggalos, they
Keep me going when I'm down and out
I pick up the phone drop them a line and here them shout
Saying Twiztid is the shit, and I'm down with the clown
Dark Lotus for life until I'm dead in the ground!
I give a shout to all my homies and killas who keep me started
All my juggalos always representing when departed
[Chorus:]
Mass murder makes me happy!
Dead bodies make me happy!
Say what you will of me!
I'll always have juggalo family!
Mass murder makes me happy!
Dead bodies make me happy!
Say what you will of me!
I'll always have juggalo family!
[Shaggy 2 Dope:]
6 individuals pedals fall from 1 stem
Who try to run away and not follow any trends, with no friends
Cause we accend from the same dirt, filth, grit, and grime
Make your mind, juggalo minds to crush mainstream shines
Whats yours is mine it was mines is yours
Let the wagons of the Dark Carnival show you different worlds
Any hoes front a juggalos or the hatchet
Tell them to come suck on your dick, we psychopathic!
[Jamie Madrox:]
All my life I've been living it all alone
I'm like a king with no people or a crown or a throne
And what I'm speaking on is what I'm feeling like
Do you know what it feels like to feel the warmth of the sunlight
I'd really like to know cause I've been chilling in the dark
For so many years that I question love in my heart
And I hate everyone, and I hate everything
Except for all the juggalos and the love that they bring!
[Chorus]
[Anybody Killa:]
Let my get your ear, I'mma make myself clear
It's the L family, Juggalos Right here
You can take away my mic, you can take away my life
But the love that we got it ain't never gonna stop
We eternal, past the surf of bullshit
Dawgs on another level, can you feel this?
It's twiztid, Blazed and ICP
And if you fuckin' with my dawgs, boy, you D-I-E
[Violent J:]
If it wasn't for Shaggy my shirt would still be baggy
I wouldn't be fat, I'd still be hungry and crabby
We used to buy our own records at the stores
So they would think it's a hot seller, and order more
But we built a team of same killers with the same dream
But we couldn't reach the top, we'd stay B level like Charlie Sheen
We finally realized we will always have the juggalos
I'll never give another second, to the mother hoes!
[Chorus x3]
Lotus!!!
Lotus!!! Lotus!!! Lotus!!! Lotus!!!
"And they wanted to know if I would trade 10 juggalos for a 100 main stream fans And i said I wouldn't trade 10 juggalos for a 100,000 mainstream fans 10 juggalos is priceless"
Much Clown Love . . > x o x o
- Last seen on Nov 14 8:07 PM 2008. Member since August 29, 2003.
- I'm a obsidian idea poet for 558 comments.
- My mood is , and quote is "cant touch this wicked ninjette ".
- I am a 17 year old girl (United States)
- When I'm not writing, I'm a a straight up juggalette, yo..
- Visit my homepage at www.myspace.com/inlovewithmurder
- I am in the groups A Cyber Cafe for the In Love Looking a
- I have 558 comments, 2 columns, 230 poems, 16 stories
My Poetry
-
words cant explain what you mean to me,
even though im not your girl, im sure everyone can still see.30 lines, 4 comments, May 9, 2006. In Love -
she awakens from the dream with tears in her eyes,
for once again her hearts desire was given to her, -
I see him stand before me..
Those beautiful blue eyes gazing into mine.
My Stories
1 - 3 of 16
Show all at storywrite
-
the first time the smoke hit my lungs,
i remember it well, how could i forget?142 lines, 3 comments, November 8, 2005. In <200 lines -
1172 lines, 5 comments, July 31, 2005. In <200 lines, Romance
-
Smoking. Getting High. Being Blazed. To me, Its a beautiful thing. To feel the stressers and presures of life floating away.. watching them swirl together and fucking blow up i214 lines, 5 comments, April 30, 2005. In <200 lines
Guest Book
1 - 4 of 78
Show all
-
StormyGiggles on May 7, 2006Fuckin right man! The family is fallin apart kinda but people like me and you, we'll hold it together. That's what family does, hold shit together so everyone else can see it. Lotsa other things but this is somethin we gotta do. Everything's good though cos mass murder makes ME happy and we's homies for life and no one's gonna forget that if they're true. Peace
mmfcl!
Stormy -
Something Real on April 16, 2006Hey Caitlin. It's Crystal.
Just wanted to notify you on the name change. -
UNDErNEATHthaSTARSz on March 15, 2006Jus dropped in 2 show ya sum luv since I HAVENT SEEN U IN 4EVA!! Hope ur chillin and seein tha best of life...u deserve it girl!! Anywayz, i hope we talk soon!!
~1LuV~
~♥~Jesenia~♥~ -
bloodyxdeath on January 29, 2006Hey Kiddo! I'm sure you may not remember me, seeing how I haven't been on this site in a very long time, but I just wanted to stop by and say 'Hey'. :] <3
