Pointless.words• Show poetry

"The kid is a freaky nut bag. She's a whack job who enjoys attention." -That one dude from The Mentalist


About Me: (kinda, sorta)

Well for starters I'm 15 years of age, but strangers have often told me that I sound as if I were 80. (Yeah, that's a weird way to start off an about me, I know) ..Unlike some people I'm actually not lying about my age.. Not this time, I'm honestly 15 years old.

I've had this account for.. Well check when I became a member.. But I know it's been a while. I haven't been on for months because truthfully, I felt empty. Words are the only way I can really feel.. And I wasn't feeling. I numbed myself so I wouldn't feel pain, but I'm over it now. I've FINALLY! written a [happy] poem. *Pats on the back* I feel accomplished!

I guess you could say I've changed a lot in the past year. I've grown older, and I'm not the same little kid I was. Looking back now I can't believe I honestly said and did the things I said and did. But I've learned a lot. And hopefully I've changed in a good way.

Well.. I like meeting new random people, although really some people tend to scare me a little with the things they say. Sooo.. Don't ask for my number or anything (I got my phone taken away anyways) But yeah, weird things have happened.. I'm not one of those people who are insanely into cyber stuff.. I know how to work a lot of things on the computer, but I'm not crazily into it. Not crazily..

I'm a little messed up I suppose, in different ways than you're probably thinking right now. I have Diabetes (Numero Uno). Have had it for five years, not so bad. I have had OCD for.. Too many years.. Very bad. Ever been afraid of your actions because of thoughts that wouldn't go away? Ever been scared of moving even an inch because you'd be thrown off balance and something VERY bad would happen? Ever been paralyzed by sheer will? Well.. I have (obviously, or I wouldn't have ranted on about it). But one day it'll go away, and if it doesn't.. Then I'll scare it away or something.

I write as an alternative to other things.. Like "inflicting harm upon thyself" and angry outbursts. I'm not afraid to totally just be free and spill out all my emotions to total strangers, but for some reason I can never be 101% truthful with everyone else. I'm not trusting at all, except with a couple of people who have indeed proven to me that they can be trusted.

I think aloud a lot when I'm not in some fantasy. I'm always thinking about the future, I spend too little time on the present. I dwell on the little things (good or bad) and I'm a very very very argumentative person. I like fighting, it's fun.

I'm very close to my friends, but nowhere near close to my family. It's me against the world when it comes to them. But no worries, I got awesome ninja powers that surpass anything the world could ever bring. My friends are oober awesome. They'd rock my socks at night if I wore any.

I'm not the kind of person who goes for or is attracted to things that he/she can't have. Why would I want something I can't have? I don't. I want the things that I shouldn't have. And that's a big problem for me. If a bruise hurts when I touch it, I'll touch it again.. And again, and again. Just to see if it still hurts. I need pain. It's a weird addiction. But it's better than a drug addiction, right?

I'm not gay, but I'm not straight. You figure out what I am.

Pretty much, I'm just anybody really.. I dunno who I am anymore than you do.

Well, that's really all I can think of right now.

Bye.

-Bobbie-Jo Castillo (Woo! Fancy!)



"Stuck At Sea"
-The Honorary Title

Running in and out of breath
Staining skin and teeth to red
Incessant slamming and that tone
God forbid I spend one night alone
Out to the parking lot
Stumbling towards my apartment
Pressed you close against the screen door,
Close enough to feel underneath your clothes

You overcompensate for your own inexperience
Don't underestimate, oh, my fear of getting caught

So many words, so many words
So many you can't believe
So many words, so many words
So many stuck at sea

On the second story of your suburban home
Mom's asleep just two doors down
Funny how when stuck at sea
Things are never the way they seem
Clouds take the shape of gloves
Reaching over the flames at dusk
Missing clips in your consciousness
Just act as if I don't exist

You overcompensate for your own inexperience
Don't underestimate, oh, my fear of getting caught

So many words, so many words
So many you can't believe
So many words, so many words
So many stuck at sea

Felt the repetition of my ways
The lack of apprehension that once saved

So many words, so many words
So many you can't believe
So many words, so many words
So many stuck at sea

I keep burning my fingers
In attempt to rekindle the flame
The matches, so flimsy
And the wind just denies her name
So I pulled out the garments that were pressed between us
On that dreamless evening you refer to in disgust

So many words, so many words
So many you can't believe
So many words, so many words
So many stuck at sea
(Felt the repetition of my ways
The lack of apprehension that once saved)
So many words, so many words
So many you can't believe
So many words, so many words
So many stuck at sea
So many words, so many words
So many you can't believe
So many words, so many words
So many stuck at sea