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a lot of people hold things. my grandfather held bottles;
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so maybe living began tomorrow
maybe this poem was a song
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damn i tried to drink that shit snuck a spoon of sugar in the cheap beer
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God
this isn't some common prayer
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there are only so many words for silent
numb empty gone dull absent ache nothing
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maybe i'm a nihilist
maybe an existentialist
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every year a storm hits this coast
and the boardwalk nearly caves in.
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it was nearly december
and he didn't know why.
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but you won't know anything of me
i had said
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maybe it's exactly what you think it is
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the first thing i must have known was that i meant to find and love you
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you died a long time ago never having read any of my poems
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so many things i want to do.
but i don't.
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i studied quantum physics for hours today. and not because i had schoolwork or a test. but because i wanted to know. i had just been throug
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i wrote half a poem
tried to title it Love,
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when i was younger we had a cat
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it's hard to stay honest without writing the same damn thing
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i had it and it was welling
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the misfortune of sobriety
penning rational expectations in dry-erase
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like a science professor
i told a guy that his question was wrong. he wanted to know what heartbreak was and i told him that hearts don't
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i spent most of the year at nighttime
imagining secret music libraries
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so this is what happens as the current calls you
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the best thing ever said to me happened after i made an odd girl laugh
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the scale reads 175
and you know you've gained five pounds
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too many nights i contemplated
when she must have died
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something we must remember
as poets
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x-files on the tv and our air conditioner hasn't been working and am i not just the biggest fuck up you've ever seen.
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how quiet it must have been
as she set the children on a mattress
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sad as i am
it's better than it was
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the curtians make it easier to sleep.
the lights in the complex are too bright.
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i always forget to set my alarm clock.
i just forget.
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over the course of the past three months
i think i've fallen into the beginnings of love
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but if you leave now
you might miss out on
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the english teacher says, when you're older your perspective will broaden from your own little bubble.
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if i loved the thing itself
and you loved what it stands for,
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