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What if one day, my mind got fuzzy with the details of our memories? with the years and years of life changing moments
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when I remember you, In movie reel style in my mind I can see you playing your drums, your thick vans slamming against the bass pedal
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Thanks for that walk-by heart-attack and the other 4 times you felt the need to repeat your route
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i remember the sutures we used to use to hold our hearts together after every phone call, and every screaming fight in my car
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I'm sorry it got so ugly, when it began so simple and cute. I'm sorry that all your lying and cheating turned me into the cold hard bitch I am today. Emotions blocked by an invisible barrier in my chest, that you screwed into
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i asked what was wrong, you were acting weird you said you were just fucking high, then you laid your head in my lap
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Always a fight with you We jumped and balanced and ran across guitar strings and vocal chords
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I lay in the bed of his beat up old Chevy Pick-Up and I wonder if this is who I wanted to be
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I pushed a little harder than needed and smoked a little too much, to constrict the bloodflow to this empty skull of mine
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its been ages since my sub-conscience mind has wandered towards you i called them nightmares, now they are just lost thoughts looking for a nook or cranny to cower in
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we rolled in your jersey sheets, skin against skin our ink patches matching in opposite directions
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we skated thin lines around subjects as we melted into one another already sketching out what we would look like with lips fitting together like puzzle pieces
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Karma is a bitch, isn't it? your reign of terror is over
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my phone buzzes and as always it's a number i don't know
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i let the vodka drain me drip drop, down my throat, down my soul
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i never said this would be easy i promised myself alot of things
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and the world is at my feet golden skin, golden curls, and a drive to explore
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i woke up, jawline bruised, swollen rolled over and fucked you one more time
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i breathed in choking sobs, unable to catch a single molecule of oxygen intaking the saltwater pouring from my mascara streaklined cheeks
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My nose burns and stings with regret as my eyes fill with memories and missed oppourtunities
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You said we would burn bridges once we got to them jump in the waters without testing them
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I fell into those ice blue eyes just to realize your pupils were too small and you were twitching too often
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I love you, I never stopped I dream of you, some nights its nightmares because your gone
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i kind of miss the smell of Vert i walked into Pac Sun and stepped into golden summer memories
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i slept, 12 hours in his arms wrapped in a caring embrace
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electricity through lips and moving hips dirty secret number one, he was the first
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i stopped, looked around, and asked myself how i got here because i've been on auto-pilot for so long that i never pay attention to anything anymore
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maybe tattooing vines across my shoulders will teach my body how to hold me together
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because im not the only one who bleeds here not the only one with a beating heart
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go back, be someone else take another line and carve another letter into your theigh
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i cant remember anymore what it was like to fall asleep in the curve of your body
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I remember when I used to
well... when I used to be yours
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I opened my eyes this morning and begged to go back back into the dreams
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i remember lovepoems and babygirl speak
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we were everything while i was nothing drunken nights where i slept alone because you were protecting yourself
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