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I just spilled water all over the paper.
It was electric, my cancer flamed into dance, and I had a huge attack of, "Oh my fucking God!"
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Smoke curled through her eyeballs from the half inhaled cigarette,
Lying i-n-n-o-c-e-n-t-l-y- in the overflowing baby-shit green ashtray.
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The scourge of my kind! Love, I scoff at the word,
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The pieces are crumbling and tumbling down, To land, with total abandon at my feet.
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Eyeball deep in confusion, And swimming against the tide of self hate.
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I could say a million things, but here are just a few;
I’m losing you,
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::Is it normal to feel this b.r.o.k.e.n?::
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[[And sometimes it's so hard just to b_r_e_a_t_h_e
But I force myself to,
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They say ignorance is bliss, I've come to agree with this.
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In your footprints I can’t follow,
They’re erratic and hollow .
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Baby, you be the sun,
And I'll play the moon.
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Tonight I am a free captive, Basking in love's affairs.
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It’s odd how so many memories… Are tied to that small, lavender desk.
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Another Father's Day has come and passed,
More questions unanswered have amassed.
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The end has come, in all it's firey glory. I knew it would be like this, even before we began.
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Her eyes glued to the screen She watched in horror
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Loneliness is sneaking in, Perching on my shoulder.
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I can remember way back then, When they days were lazy, the memories good, and the ice cream cold.
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This battle of wills is getting old, Seems it's all we ever do anymore.
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I've finally escaped your hold,
Or is it that I've just let go?
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So very tired of being stomped on,
With your witheringly fake kindness.
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Someday, I want to hear you sing those songs,
And someday, I want to hold you in my arms.
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And she watched,
With tears in her heart,
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The calm has settled over her forest, Deadly silence is the only noise.
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Your echoing silence presses failures against my skull,
Rattling my brain juice into a shake tasting of disgust.
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Your silence speaks louder than any words you could ever spit in my face.
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Trust me. Just put all your trust in me. I promise. I'll fuck everything up. I won't disappoint you again.
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Just promise me, baby.
Promise me forever, even if the lie can be heard within your voice.
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It's time I disappeared. Just....slid into your shadow,
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She tried. Tried so hard.
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Insignificance is her name,
Masquerading is the game.
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