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The Nature Of Dreams

Under the sky I'm standing, screaming for help
For my answer is the assistance of a whelp

I am imprisoned by a tyranny I cannot bare
But lift a hand against my tyrant I do not dare

For I find myself mired in an unnatural fog
All that moves my senses is the barking of a puppy dog

The more I move around, the less I can see
As I stare at the ground, it disappears beneath me

I start to panic, this is too unreal
I become frantic, I beg my surroundings to reveal

Yet they remain perfectly well concealed
And something let's me know, I'm standing on a chessboard field

One thing is to me still quite uncertain
What is the nature of my shoulder's burden?

I still cannot see a foot ahead
I am urged to move forward, I take a step then stop dead

I dare not move further, I could meet the bars of my cell
And I wake up with the feeling I was saved by the bell...

Author notes

This one is extremely wierd, but the story is, that I woke up this morning after having dreamt this, and wrote it down, more like a story because this dream was so our of the ordinary for me.
I logged on, and found this contest, and here's the result.
I hope you like it

btw, this is seriously, what I dreamt, from beginning till end.
Written January 15th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • sweetbreeze
    January 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very scary dream! I seldom have a bad dream.
    I believe that dreams as the one you just described here can make one sweat and wish to get awake soon.
    I hope that your future dreams be more pleasant!
    Good luck!

    sb


  • M.A.King
    January 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ah, nicely done! A surreal mood with deeply disturbing undercurrents. By going from scene to scene with such crisp detail you have taken the reader with you on this dream experience. This is rich in vivid images and well done phrasing. I would love to see an interpretation of this dream.


  • Despairkitty
    January 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow....This is perfect. It was so random, just like dreaming is. A sense of never knowing what is going on. Images and pictures, with a sense of opression. I loved this one. This is such a hard contest. You are most definatly in the running for a trophy. This is perfect. I am so glad that you found this contest. I enjoyed the format you used for your poem as well. The rhyme was not forced at all. Wow..Thats all I can say about this one
    Despair