Rise, Queen of Heaven!
Opulent petals scent
Soul's mystic heart
Emblem of Venus for
Spring's spirit in bloom
Author notes
Acrostic tanka known as oriku
Companion piece to 'Roses' (oriku) allpoetry.com/poem/1001271
(The rose is also the national flower of the United States)
Written January 15th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Very good write
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Ah, this is really really beautiful. I love how you've stuck the queen part in this piece. Little did you know you wrote a poem about yourself!
The words really help to compliment the piece.
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your rose-oriku is a gift of gracefulness and sublime beauty ...
pure delight for the heart ...
maa
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I am not familiar with oriku, but you spread the loveliest of blooms across this page in you're words and graphics. The rose is such a mystical beauty. At the moment, though, I have a one yellow bud determined to still bloom for Christmas!
~ Karen
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Tanka
Thanks for posting this in the Rose Garden, Gen!
Now that I know a little more about tanka (thanks to Mari, mostly) I can see how skillfully you have used this form. Images become symbols of arcane wisdom - this is a beauty.
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Thank you, Jack!
This won Silver in that contest - a month ago 
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Beautiful poem such vivid imagery I could smell the roses..thanks..good luck in the contest... Semper Fi..Jack
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OH! (gasp) this is beautiful. i think i may have to end up giving two poems in, instead of one. this is wonderful, and i am glad you submitted it. thank you so much for the submissions!
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Thank you! A tanka is one of the oldest Japanese poetry forms (predating haiku by hundreds of years). It is a 5 line poem of approximately 5-7-5 7-7 syllables (less in English).
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A nice dedicatory acrostic written in a different style of which I'm not at all familiar with. (tanka?) The poem presented well accented by the beautiful picture of the rose garden. Good write!
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Beautiful!
This is quite lovely and the roses blooming in for backgroubd is awesome,as well!Beautiful!I love the beautiful things that were created for our enjoyment by God.It tells of His goodness and His love for us. -
Thank you, Mr V! Actually, I discovered this form by experimenting with a tanka on my first acrostic one, 'Lotus'. AndrewHide told me I had in fact written an oriku, rarely attempted in the west due to the difficulty of reproducing an English equivalent, Apparently the Japanese oriku use the first sound syllables of the first words in each line for the acrostic.
~G
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i would really like to know, where you come up with these things. this is one i've certainly never heard of. i really am not much on accostics. but this one is different. i like it.
it is just a little more simpler and musical than a regular accostic.
i can never get into these "forms" although i would probably be very good at it. i had someone tell me years ago that i should write sonnets. unfortunately it doesn't interest me.
maybe someday i will try a hand at these things.
who knows. -
Hehe! cute
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A lovely rose comes and goes,
but love still grows without a nose. -
I see...this is an acrostic tanka! Beautiful poem filled with images of spring.
I love the picture...
Lorena -
Amazing!
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Oh this poem is beautiful, and nevermind the glazed eyes and chindrool as I stare at your picture... Right now all my roses are buried except for a wild rambler and a climbing Joseph's Coat that are nothing more than twiggy snowcatchers lol! Much as I love winter's purity, I sure can't wait to see leafbuds on those twigs instead of snow.
Andy -
short, but beautiful. excellent writing and imagery here. a pleasure to read. keep it up, and best of luck in the contest <33
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Another beautiful piece. Great writing and imagery!
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This is beautiful Ge! What an exquisite way to write a poem about roses
Perfection in few lines
Kisses and love,
Mari
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Thank you, Pops! I'm glad I got it tweaked in time, too.
~G
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Now that is lovely!
How is it that there can be so many poems of roses but we never seem to run out of things to say about them. I am glad I did not get to this before all of your tweaking. I like the version as it stands right now. It does have more to say that the five little lines written.
thank you for introducing me to this new form.
Pops -
This is an interesting form for a poem. I've never heard of Oriku before, but this poem was very enjoyable to read. I liked the delicate sense of this the most. Good luck in the contest!
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And all the truth we know can be found in the glow and scent of a rose.
All of nature is heavenly and your image is stunning exquisite gorgeous My sweet sister soul Gennelle, Oh, this is painted with pure gold dust. The mystic yet complex magic of your words raises us to heaven in your first sentence. Absolutely divine to paint ROSES in Spring RED
Then with her soft green petals, colour her love in all our hearts.
Rise Heaven
My love is in bloom
This is what I see deeply in your love song.
We rise at dawn
To sing your love song
The roseate glow of dawn
The time of prophecy
“Daniel 4:13 I saw in the visions of my head upon my bed, and, behold, a watcher and an holy one came down from heaven;
Daniel 4:22 It is thou, O king, that art grown and become strong: for thy greatness is grown, and reacheth unto heaven, and thy dominion to the end of the earth.”
Edited on Jan 15, 9:59 p.m. because ''. -
woh this is bold.
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Thanks Col! But "sense" would lose the 'sense' I intended. As in perfume, plus the dual meaning of the homonym allusion in 'scent-sent'.
~G
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love the tweak Gen how about changing scent to sense
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Thank you so much, Ashlee!
~G
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Oh, thanks Margaret! That's a relief!
(Hehe! yeah, I remember Nadir saying that about your tweaking, good one!)
~G
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Goodness, to quote Nadir, when you tweak, it says ouch!
The change in the "O" line makes all the difference - now there is flower imagery and all the symbolism is retained.
I like it.
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I've tweaked it some more, Margaret. I think it's better now
~G
Edited on Jan 15, 4:35 p.m. because 'spacing'. -
Aha! Thank you Colin! And you just showed me up!
See, (just between you & me, sub rosa ) this is still 'under construction'. It lacks aware (ah-wah-ray: not 'touchy-feely' enough).
So pleased it could inspire a superior example!
~G
Edited on Jan 15, 3:37 p.m. because 'wrong word'. -
ah you have found a new form to excel in
Rising
Over all others
Springs my lover's
Eternally bound
Scarlet lips
Edited on Jan 15, 3:08 p.m. because 'forgot the apostrophe'. -
Beautiful
Gennelle, this is an excellent short essay on the symbology of roses! I also love the text and graphics, perfection!
Here is a reference to rose symbology, in an interesting context, Grateful Dead lyrics:
http://arts.ucsc.edu/gdead/agdl/rose.html
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Thank you, Gaze! Appreciate your comment.
~G
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this is very beautiful and has a colorful tune.
a different but very elegant acrostic.
good luck in the contest and in life
G
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