Compelled to open up my heart
And allow emotions to overflow,
I strip away this cloak of inhibition
To permit unsaid affections to show
Words may never sufficiently express
The feelings festering, amaranthine;
Must I be tortured in every thought,
Each reminder that you're not mine?
Perfect strangers we might well be;
Within two souls burns a deathless flame
Ignited by love's primal awakening
In two wild spirits naught else can tame
Away a little, I study your lineaments
Contorting into an expression of sorrow...
Thoughts scribed on impeccable features
Harbor an ill predilection toward the morrow
Attempting to vocalize these simple words
To elucidate my sincere interest and care,
My heart flutters while breaths quicken as
Upon your ravishing likeness, I long to stare
Yet you shun intruding inklings of love;
Before risking yourself, you'd rather die...
Those words stunted any wish I possess;
Discouragement certain, I could only cry
But listen to the pleas of my loving soul:
Amalgamated concerns come to implore
That you turn not away from this chance
On account of untruths encountered before
Take the key that can unlock my being,
Feel the tempests of passion unfurled...
Give me your trust and an opportunity
Let love and I become part of your world.
Author notes
this piece has been in my head awhile...it just now slipped out today (3/11/05).
to someone who knows nothing of how I feel...even if you are hurting now, you can't live forever without giving someone new a chance. sometimes, it's better to take a leap of faith.
Written January 14th, 2005
In a list
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Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Beautifully written.
I adored the flow...
So true, that some would rather keep their heart bound...
In chains.
But life, is so much better, once it is found.
As love mends past pains.
It's been quite some time that a poem-
Has been able to take my very breath away.
Bravo.
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ahh...my friend
those of us who look for love sometimes aren't in the right place at the right time. I know,
I'm still looking!
but unfortuanately sometimes that's life for ya!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time! -
I know exactly what you are saying. The longing that inhabits my soul is as such. If only it was that easy. If only life didn't get in the way.
~Pedro~ -
This is a very esteemed work of poetry. There is much passion in these words. There is also the sense of unrequited love, or the kind that is forbidden. You scribe with intelligence and control of pen. This is lovely even in its forlorn state. A very impressive work! The language usage is stellar! The rhyming flows effortlessly and rolls off the reader's tongue when read aloud.
Thank you so much for this wonderful rhyming masterpiece that you chose to enter into my challenge. I wish you all the best in this challenge, love, and life.
YOU ARE A CONTENDER!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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This poem is lovely. You have written a beautiful poem that flows with a lovely rhythm and rhyme. Your message is a very valid one. Take a leap of faith.
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powerful first stanza like this write and great writing it is thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck...
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This is brilliant my friend, and i think that's why you've submitted it in this contest...I think you know this. The poem as a whole was eloquently written..a clear showing of your true talent..your word usage is fantastic..
Your words led me into a peice of your mind, and not only do I appriciate that, I thank you.
Alot of what you write here is true in many situations,And I wonder with a talent of this caliber, are you doing anything with it?
Again that you for sharing this peice of you with all of us, and good luck in the contest....although I don't think you will be needing it at all!!! -
You still got it. This was great and so nice. The emmotion flowing through this poem was amazing. I love reading your work it never fails to amaze me and leave me breathless at the end. I am still looking forward to reading more of your work.
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Bravo, Bravo, Bravo!!!
Another exquisite work of art from the Almighty Aphrodite, this was exceptional. I love the last stanza;
"Take the key that can unlock my being,
Feel the tempests of passion unfurled...
Give me your trust and an opportunity
Let love and I become part of your world."
We do need to take that leap of faith in order to find true love. You penned this one so beautifully, I am in awe. This was another beautiful stanza that really jumped out at me;
"Attempting to vocalize these simple words
To elucidate my sincere interest and care,
My heart flutters while breaths quicken as
Upon your ravishing likeness, I long to stare"
I felt like this when I fell in love with my husband of now just over 23 years, I took a leap of faith and told him first that I had fallen in love with him. His reply almost knocked me out when he told me he had fallen in love with me the first time he met me. It does happen and I know I was blessed. Thank you for sharing this wonderful work of art with all of us.
God bless you... 
Joyce
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You have such an amazing heart.This was excellent... Thank you for sharing. And good luck in the contest...
Ashley
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WOW... I just cannot get over this poem... Even the comments in the authors comment box I find amazing.. I would like to wish you luck in the contest but I know it is a winner. You write from your heart and it can actually be felt within this poem.. All I can really say is WOW..
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Oh goodness...
Three words: YOU ARE GOOD
This was one heck of a wake up call, and not only for me...it's been a while since i've read amazingly deep love poetry...but YOU TOOK MY POETRY CAKE!!
This blew me away...and i am THE HUGEST fan of big adjectives/words, which you used a LOT...kudos to you for your big, expanding vocabulary...
But now down to the essence:
It's hard, basically, to love when you're unloved, and to stop loving when you know there's no point in going on, and in this you're silently optimistic, hoping, wishing that love will 'conquer' all...
And words never really express feelings, and sometimes, that's very sad. If you think about it, the word 'love' is overused too many times. It's a sacred word, and you can't just throw it away on pointless romances in Junior High!! For goodness sake, it's JUNIOR HIGH!! Do you really believe the first guy you date in SEVENTH grade will still be with you throughout TWELVETH grade?? No...
Wait...I'M TALKING ABOUT someone else, lemme get back on track...
This flows like a Shakesperean sonnet, i love how you used such elegant, meaningful words to describe something that is, in the end, indescribable...
I GIVE YOU MY UBER-APPLAUSE!! BOWBOWBOWBOWBOW!! ENCORE, ENCORE!!!
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Exquisite a magnificent tapestry... two thumb
A mantle of query, affirmation eloquently crafted you are the questions, the answers in trusting faiths conquest of doubts embracing the flow in imagery and vocabulary so eloquently "Words may never sufficiently express
The feelings festering, amaranthine;
Must I be tortured in every thought,
Each reminder that you're not mine?" Dear Raven you never cease to amaze me Brava... Two thumbs up!! Many Blessings, Your friend always... Myst
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Another fine thought that just flows from that heart of yours! How do you have room for all of them? Love this
Good Luck.
Deena
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Exquisite! You have a remarkable way with words! "Must I be tortured in every thought,Each reminder that you're not mine?" Powerful lines! The entire poem is filled with powerful lines! Keep writing! You have talent!
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Excellent Work!
Well done, Raven! Oh how I can somewhat relate to this... Now, I feel inspired to write, but unfortunately I don't have enough time
- I'm working early tomorrow. Oh well, I guess I'll just let these words burn upon my heart...
Take care
Love,
Renny
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Wow, your words are amazing, the feeling and emotion behind this is just amazing. I think you did a great job!!
Take Care,
Jasmine
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Nicely written.
~shaitus -
Your words are always so beautifully written and they challenge my vocabulary as well. That is a good thing thank-you! You are correct and sometimes we have to let go and trust in order to recieve the comfort every human needs in another. I may practice this myself one day lol Your poem flowed of emotions that made it easy to read and to relate to. I could feel the frustration of wanting the love of someone who is afraid to let go when finally the decision has been made for you to let go; figuritively speaking.
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This outblooms Bette's The Rose!
Your muse returns full force here.The lyric feel, flow, and emotion here are faboulous.I am left astounded that such a heart flies unencumbered by an object unaware.Pure poetic beauty.I'm at a loss for words.Amazing.Rob -
Raven,
It seems your own words, my love, should be applied to your notions. I have these feelings of not wanting to chance love because of past hurts, and they have yet to wane. I do however have faith that both you, and I will see the dawning of love when the appropriate time arrives. Oft times if we just let go, things have a way of happening on their own. I don't create relationships, it seems that they just ensue. I agree with windsong in this instance, just remain the beautiful woman you are, and the right man will hearken your heart. Very comely and sentimental poetry. I feel all that I have read of your poetry is the crème de la crème! Keep weaving your word art for all to fathom.
~Charles
A ♥ -
Oh EIQ should I brain him for you. I know it wouldn't help but I can feel you frustration and pain. Can't help but want to do something to speed things along. Many people tend to foget that if love doesn't hurt it's not real. Love is always a risk but the rewards are so worth it. Be just the beautiful woman you are and he'll come around. I have a head full of ideas if you need any.
April -
sweet sentiment
I can't agree with you more. A leap of faith sometimes is all we have. Never be afraid to love,even if you get hurt. At least you'll know you're alive. I do believe in "Tis better to love and lost, then to not love at all" Walk slowly my love and he just might come around. Many friendships evolve into more. Hugs~ Cuddles -
poinganat, yet hopefull
This was absolutley beautiful ETIQ! You have well expressed a heart imprisioned by its own pain and heartbreak. Very poignant, but also very hopeful that the future might be different with your love there to heal thier pain. I truly believe love heals all. There's no problem in this world that can not be conquered by love
much love to you my friend!!
stephanie -
Beautifully Written!
Well well! I see your forgotten muse has return full force. This is an exceptional write Raven, In a way I can almost identify with it. Love is not always a two way street somtimes; though we want to we can't make someone love us if the feelings isn't there already. You are the master of words and I just love the way they flow throughout this poem you're so expertly and magnificently written. Thank you for sharing this bit of unrequited love; it is something that many of us can relate to.
All my love,
Avril (Big Sis)
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aww Sometimes I wounder about thing like this ...Just wanting someone to open up to you and your love when they dont really know that the love for them really even exists! It truely sucks I know! you expressed alot of emotion in this alot of feeling and was very well penned sweety bravo
savina
twinzy
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