There's a darkness which assumes
a plump and pleasant form
and, thus, it lurks within us all
Yet,
every time I run to it,
I hear the demons call...
They scream a name
that's paler than yours
that's hallowed and torn
and twines itself around weeds
It's red as roses,
and blissful as the beast that beckons
seduces us to sweet serenity
There's a bitter taste on your tongue,
which you transfer to mine, wordlessly
You scarlet Judas,
our tainted and grit-struck garden
#
And after everything we promised,
You still ran away.
Author notes
I'm not sure if I'll edit this yet. I know it isn't perfect. Form or shape? Any thoughts?
Written January 14th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I love the line, seduces us to sweet serenity, it souns so peaceful. Red as roses is a pretty shade of red. It was a pleasure to read.
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wow this is a really sad poem but i like that youre writing that there is more to you than meets the eye ya know like a dont judge a book by its cover type message
i like it, thanks for sharin with the rest of us
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Aw, thanks. Barbie. Xx
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Ha! I guess maybe I am that jaded cheerleader/beauty queen with a dark side. (I love that description.) Thank you, that's a really nice comment/compliment and I know that you're a very good poet yourself so, yeah, thanks! (Yes, you're very good, I just generally don't have much to say when I read your poems.) And, yes, thanks again.
Barbie. Xx
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Thanks a lot, your comment really means a lot because I know you are a harsh critic (and I also know that you took the time to read and think
). I wasn't sure about the alliteration, I still think it stunts the flow a little at the 's's, but the sibilance was just such a great effect and really what I was looking for so I kept it anyway. I think it's a piece about temptation. Thanks. Caz. Xx
Edited on Jan 16, 2:19 p.m. because ''. -
Hahahaha! Yeah, that joke's good! Thank you. Barbie. Xx
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hm your poetry is always this strange mixture of vibes. I kind of picture you as this really jaded cheerleader/beauty queen with a dark side that makes you wonder.
Sorry I don't have any suggestions...I just enjoy reading your poetry because it is interesting in a way that I can't put my finger on... -
and the free form poetry is the best of all forms, i feel. with rhythm none and rhyme scheme whatever fits. Like this, the poem flows, no stunted pauses or forced rhmye. Little rhyme, but where it is it hits deep, hard, full on for effect. and the poem flows on. Perhaps im making too much of it. but the last couple writes of yours have simply got better and better. and nothing you do seems to take a step wrong. Continue writing what comes to mind and heart rather then actually constructing a poem, ofr it is in the words of emotion that true meaning is attained. And this is such a good write that i see true meaning. It may be different form person to person but that marks a great poem. So to you, Caz, as a poet, this is something you should be proud of.
P.s your use of alliteration in this piece is quite profuse, but it works. in future pieces be careful that you maintain the balance between alliteration and flow that you have created her else it could go awry. With faith for the future and looking forward to your next write, D -
'Barbie' misses the bus (not really funny in this case - but I have to keep this up) - rather clever, reads with a tad of pain-felt passion. - Thank you.
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Thanks Soph. Caz. Xx
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bit slow at the beginning but I really liked the middle section
'You scarlet Judas'
awesome line, great work
much love x
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