Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

A New Name

Missing image

Long ago
A heated lifetime away from here.
You remember it, don’t you…
That smoldering small voice called “Love”

 

Winter looked for your smile everywhere
But found only locks of loneliness and
Winters’ Shell Game of a
Rising Sun Promise

I wanted to be anywhere
You were because that’s
Who I was.
But babe, that was not who you were

So, my tongue tastes angst’s bitter inky influence
Of soul’s affliction away from what you were not.
I have to now choke out the horrible truth…
My tormented tears taste better than your sweet kisses

 

Perhaps it’s my acrid ecstasy
That tonight my love
She sleeps besides another drowning in
Another night of dreaming that

She’s OK...she alwys was stronger than me...but my strength was my weakness...she never understood that....but she does 

 

My Tiny Tim Face,
Crutch holding open a smile
My face was always pressed against some windowpane or other
I was but a voyeur of happiness

Thank you God

One day I refused to die
Sober words got me high
A trembling hug made me sigh
I quit living the lie

 

All the loving I placed at your feet
Tears like sparkling stars collected,
Spread out upon God’s Healing Blanket Sky
This...is our destiny

Like a constellation of Beautiful Man
I stand ready for your immortal kiss 
I feel your molecules align
With mine

Floating in rapture
…and we know it’s right

Author notes

Transiting from pain to joy...
Written January 14th, 2005

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 32 of 32

  • Watuwant silver member
    March 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Simply an outstanding poem, ET! Truly, a masterpiece. I humbly back away, simply saying WoW!
    peace
    doug


  • luckynsincere
    March 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    long time....no hear from... I see you can still leave me in awe with your words... this was the best I have read so far... I love the way you display your emotion.... You have a way... a very unique way!! Anyways, Hope to hear from u soon....
    Melanie


  • Saudade
    February 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I love it. WOW. Beautiful.


  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    February 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Tout vient à point à qui sait attendre.


  • misselaineous
    February 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i commented on this poem yesterday and my pc crashed!

    loss, pain, hope, sorrow, true love ~ shattered dreams ~ it's all here for us to share... thank you

    i have read this eight or nine times now ET and each time I get something new. But in each read i get such raw and implicit emotion, an injured soul laid bare for all to see and it is this vulnerability and the images you use to depict these true feelings that make this poem somehow so very very good. A poem is a work of art ~ posted for passers-by to view, they either connect or they do not ~ to connect is wonderful to connect in the way this has for me. I hope you find peace on your journey

    elaine
    Edited on Feb 17, 3:21 because 'cant type!'.

  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    February 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Spiritually Beautiful and Sensitive.

    Thanks, Bonnie. Your imput is appreciated, especially since you reflected meaningfully. I'm OK with your not reading my Erotic work. For me, I feel it is OK for Christians to be erotic. But that's just my opinion. Personally, I feel we can be more erotic than most, because the spirit of God makes ALL life activities pure and rich. To the pure of heart, all things are pure. God is always good and so are the features we've been blessed with. Peace Through Love (PTL)...God is love. Timothy :-)


  • BonnieQ silver member
    February 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Exquisite

    You have so beautifully expressed a journey I feel all of us, at one time or another, have taken: first discovering what we thought was love, only to find it was not, but through the grief we move on and, hopefully, one day we discover what is truly love. For me, it is the love of God and His Christ; no greater have I ever experienced: nor will I ever. You might, however, want to check for spelling.

    Your tremendous talent for weaving words into stunning tapestries reminds me of the great poets of old: they consistently flow from a heart as old as time itself, moving all who step into your river of smooth phrases. The water is fine; so, come on in, everyone!

    This is the second of your works I've read-- some I will not read, such as erotic and the likes-- and I must say I am very impressed with your skill. Anyone with talent can lay claim to possessing only a drop of God's perfect talent. In your case, I believe He gave you a bucket full from His infinite measure. As such, always use it well, use it wisely.

    Love and hugs
    BonnieQ
    Associate Editor, WA
    for Waltsan Publishing, TX

  • shadowscript
    February 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    that poem was truely jaw dropping you spilled your heart and all your lines were powerful. they gave shivers down my spine, you truely are the best I have seen on this site. I just began writing poems on this site and yours just influenced me to get more ideas for a poem. I absolutely enjoyed your writing especially this poem. Please comment my poems because I want a comment from a poet who I look up to


  • A2b4u
    February 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I had to read this several times to take it all in, so amazing. i only write short poems, and they suck. i couldn't dream of ever writting with such a beautiful sentiment.


  • True Love Gal
    February 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You, must really have a heart or something. This was really good. I loved it. Thanks, so much for sharing this with us. This poem, I think well, be the best one. I read today. Keep up the good work, and never give up on what you do...

  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    February 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Funny that you comment on this now...I was driving around wondering about what's going on with you poetically and how I should get with your poems again. Always liked you and your work. I'll adjust the poem here somewhat after posting this comment. Thanks for the critique. Peace Through Love. ET


  • MuseStalker
    February 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    The first 4 stanzas of this took my breath completely and literally away. From there, there are some excellent bits...but the best of it - for me - were those first four perfect stanzas.

    One quibble...I didn't much care for the "my lonely acrid ecstasy" in line one of stanza five. I think either "lonely" or "acrid" would be best left off...it seems a bit of overkill, considering the depth of imagery you've painted to that point.

    Also, I think "becomes" should be "become" in line 3 of that same stanza. But, those are just my opinions...and I've told you before how little those are worth.

    All in all, even the worst of this piece is so far superior to the best of most of the stuff I've read on this site that it hardly seems fair to be picky. But, why bother making suggestions on poetry that's so poor that no amount of work could salvage it? So, please forgive me picking nits, and know - bottom line - I really do love this poem.

  • ecrivain01
    January 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    interesting write

    This is a very well thought out piece. These lines are extremely well done:

    All the loving I placed at your feet
    Tears like sparkling stars collected,
    Spread out upon God’s Healing Blanket Sky
    This...is our destiny

    There are some great lines in this.


  • Redstormy gold member
    January 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is absolutely powerful my friend.

    Red

  • rosebud
    January 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    it not just the wordings in this poem that mesmerized me, but the choosing of the words..(I was but a voyeur of happiness)...excellent!

  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    January 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is probably the most beautiful comment I have received, and I have had some beautiful moments shared here at AP. I had a tear of gratitude in my eye. I wish I was at a place I could share more clearly the joy part of my life, but that will have to wait until after the painful divorce is completed. Thanks for making me exhale ever so gently when you said, "...it is even a gift to be in a relationship that may hurt us..." and I took your words as a precious gift. I know a Tree that would agree, roots and all.

  • -Dawn-
    January 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Your words here are like snowflakes~~ they are utterly translucent and absoultely your own.

    I am more moved by this than I think any thing else you have written. It was a journey~~ a travel from pain, to healing, to happiness. All of that in one little poem.


    I loved the descriptions of the demise of your relationship. The differences that contributed to it and the reeling pain it caused you, to both be in it and to leave it. Not many can be that honest about their own relationships, recognizing there were good and bad moments.

    But you turn it around~~ you show us that it is even a gift to be in a relationship that may hurt us~~ out of the ashes we all emerge with at least a tiny trinket they leave us with~~ and that is that we know our ability to love and love is never a waste.

    I am simply in awe of all you captured here. I struggled with what lines I wanted to show you that I will take with me always but there were just too many of them~~ but if I MUST choose then this is it~~


    'My Tiny Tim Face
    Crutch holding open a smile
    My face was always pressed against some windowpane or other
    I was but a voyeur of happiness'

    All the vulnerability you captured in that one stanza, I will keep with me always


    Thank you for the journey my friend. Your wise ways are always much appreciated, especially your ability to create something that wasn't there before is amazing indeed.

    Outstanding work~~ my favorite by far






    Edited on Jan 21, 8:55 p.m. because ''.


  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    January 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you very much...totally appreciated.


  • January 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely awesome!

  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    January 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you...yes, God is blessing my path, to be sure. Still some pain comes and go, but I have had some shoulders to cry on (one in particular) and I suspect I'll survive this divorce. Peace Through Love. ET
    PS You maus be a loving person, too. It takes one to know one.

  • MollysWall
    January 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You must be a loving person to create such intimate and emotional poetry. I find this piece particualrly inspiring, perhaps because of my own current state, but regardless of my connection, it sounds to me like you are moving in the right direction and I wish you all the best...
    ~M~


  • January 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like you have some very kind people who read your work. Love attracts loving people.

  • requiemforadeath
    January 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    That hits me hard. I like it alot.
    I'll probably be thinking about this for awhile.

  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    January 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, it's a smile. It's a mixed smile, but a smile. I feel vulnerable, more than ever before. It's a long story. I'll email you about it when I am more settled and rested. I have so many issues right now, I can hardly describe all of what my life means right now...not even to myself. LOL! Peace Through Love. Timothy


  • Blondita
    January 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Some great lines in this Tim - such as ' choking out the truth '. Conveys such intensity. Its difficult letting go, moving on, adapting to change - but the end result is generally worthwhile and surprisingly liberating A poem that contains an abundance of personal clarity.

    I think I see a smile in here too.

    ~ Sonia ~ XX

  • Laurili
    January 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i love the forth stanza. it comes across as a turning point captured in beautiful phrasing and could almost be held in juxtaposition to the poem itself (as i see it).
    these are graceful, humble words.. the poetics of progress. =]
    l-.


  • Nyx Iscariot
    January 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    im bottle it up girl.

    so ...asking me how to visualize or make pain visual...isnt worth it.
    i dont know how.

    N...


  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    January 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    My pain is visual...maybe that's my problem...to get more visual.

  • Nyx Iscariot
    January 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    a very good transition my sweet, one that is always always worth the pain you went through to get there.

    though, i think i have to convince myself a little harder of that fact.

    N...


  • piglet tree
    January 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    lol ... i see .02 seconds after my previous critique that you gave this baby a better name ... lol


  • piglet tree
    January 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    lol ... i see .02 seconds after my previous critique that you gave this baby a better name ... lol

  • piglet tree
    January 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    interesting poem, actually i love the physical format ... give this baby a better name, please, than its first 4 lines!

1 - 32 of 32