understanding words..
caring like twinkling birds.
hold me close.. even if it isn't real
keeping me warm.. you know how I feel..
this shouldn't be here..
this... indescribable fear
something unknown, though familiar as hell
I hope...as I throw a coin down the wishing well
restraining myself as I am unsure
wondering.. is there a cure?
can I resist for one time?
another feeling.. I'm....
lost..
drowning in emotion
searching in devotion
trying to pull myself together
but it doesn't matter..
I think in the end..
you can't hide your true feelings..
one should make a stand
and hope for the healings..
it's stuck in my soul
..
it's something you stole..
and now it's demanding it's toll
Lost in my pray..
I rest my lost mind
all I can say..
as I enter my dream to find..
a lost twinkle
Author notes
just some feelings that are stuck in my mind during an emotional night..
14 January 2005 - 05:18-05:38 - Velsen-Zuid, Filip H.F. "FiXato" Slagter
btw... I know I can't rhyme... but I still seem to keep on trying...
Written January 14th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Dark/Sad/Music/Angst/Abuse/Loss by .
302 points, ended February 6, 2005, 84 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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yeah, I share Jab's opinion,it s a super write and you have much talent FiXato :-)
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I love the way you shaped this poem, it is nice. I love it, it is a super write, you have much talent FiXato!! Never stop writing! Great piece!~Jab
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thank you very much for your comment artis.. your comment is a poem in itself
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a twinkle of brilliance here that draws the reader through the dark waves of emotiuonal drowning, gasping for air, and surfacing to find a well crafted poem about the struggle to be yourself and share that self with others with out pain...Artis
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*hugs paula for being such a great inspiration that this poem got me a SILVER MEDAL!
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very touching
Congratulations FiX:-)
I knew that you have lots of power in your words and heart...
*hug
btw...
i know ;-) -
Wow this is an exellent poem. Such emotion, and truth. Great job! Keep on writing.
Love
emily -
sighs .. january 14th ... your poem hit me like a brick, i envy your talent.
so much love ~L -
Nicely done and well understood. Ryhming isn't everything, and it was not needed here. I can see where you are coming from and understand how you feel. Keep up the good work!
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Wonderful Job
Bravo! Bravo! I really like this piece, Expecially;
drowning in emotion
searching in devotion
trying to pull myself together
but it doesn't matter..
I can relate to this a lot, The flow was wonderful, Your wording fit well, Emotions shined through, And overall... This was just a wonderful piece. I hope I can find the time to check out more of your work. Keep ya head up, Never keep smiling
Frances Lynn -
Very nice...
hold me close.. even if it isn't real
keeping me warm.. you know how I feel.
awesome lines
thanks for sharing, would applause but I ran outta them
thanks again! -
beautiful
the rhyme-scheme doesn't really matter. actually, if you look, most of my stuff doesn't rhyme at all. i just seem to write that way. this really hit me. this is my situation right now, and it makes it kind of difficult...i see him every day, and sometimes i just want to give him a hug and a kiss and tell him i love him. anyway, i wish you the best of fortune with your love. favorite lines:
understanding words..
caring like twinkling birds.
hold me close.. even if it isn't real
keeping me warm.. you know how I feel..
that really says it all in one neat little stanza. -
Excellent!
Wonderful.
A tribute to the "lost twinkle".
Edited on Jan 18, 12:13 because 'Ooops again...'. -
Well, i think we all feel lost at times...and need to find
ways to purge those emotions. Just keep writing...and you
will find your niche (referencing your comments about your
rhyming). Then again, not everything has to rhyme many,
many of mine do not...and many, many out there do not.
Just go with it!
UB
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I really enjoyed reading this! My favorite lines were...
I think in the end..
you can't hide your true feelings..
one should make a stand
and hope for the healings..
That's exactly what i think! But um yeah i truly loved it! Great write! Nice format! Keep up the good work! -
you did a great job, you said that you can't ryhme, but you have a great flow to it. i really like it. keep up the great work, and once agian, great write!!!
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AWESOME. Lol I've got the best entries after allowing prewrites, this rocks!
I can relate alot.. it explains what I'm feeling right now..
Especially: 'hold me close.. even if it isn't real
keeping me warm.. you know how I feel..'
I'm gonna check out more of your work
Love C 
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*warm hug to you too*
well, sometimes things can feel very real.. just like in dreams.
And why should it be any different if it only feels real...
I think the point in life is trying to find the best in things, real or not, waking life or dreams, and learn to deal with them IRL in the best way possible. Finding the good opportunities of it, while respecting the others.
at least, that is how I am starting to look at it now since this morning after waking up..
For all that matters, a Dedicated Friendship... is way too valuable to lose over such frivolous things as uncertainty..
*gives another *
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I....I...reading between the lines...i...
very tight warm hug - isnt real but may be someday...
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
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