The white snow f
a
l
l
s Between the stark limbs
Of the skeleton tree.
Exposed, the bone fingertips
Grasp for the moon
But are [once more] denied
And the walls don’t
Whisper their secrets anymore.
THEY SCREAM
but don’t blame them!
Not a soul who has seen
that much could
remain sane.
Those poor trees with their mangled roots-
Unblossomed white branches -
Days folding into endless daysweeksyears.
We pity those who die young by nature, but
Think of those who live so long
They realize there is no hope
And never has been
Like the mother with the
Lifeless child, she
Closed her ears to the wisdom of walls
And now SHE screams
Sobbing, struggling to fold
Isabella
back into her body
Like a flower petal
As the nurse peels off
stiff hands,
blonde h a i r
The roots twist deeper
Author notes
this isn't about me actually - i read a book about a woman whose 5 year old girl died and she lost her mind. crying and trying to revive her. at the funeral she pulled the little girl out of the casket and pulled her toward her so hard that her bones broke and the she had to be tranqualized.
so, yeah, i relate, but it's not about me.
a better title idea would be appreciated.
i commented on 2 of your 3-5-3 haiku's (which were very cool - by the way)
Written January 13th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Calling poets of the deep! by Scindr.
450 points, ended January 18, 2005, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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yeah, Tim read it... glad you liked it... ummm....
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Awww... is this the one you wanted me to read? This is really sad. Didn't Tim read this at the meeting? I remember the "roots twist deeper" part. Wow. He did NOT do it justice (then again, I don't think any of us did... I don't have a good speaking voice; I should not have been allowed to read "Grace"--lol). This is just gorgeous. You have such amazing use of words to create images. THEY SCREAM was one of my favorite parts because it made me feel like something inside of me was just pushing outward. Like something that hurt was making itself known. You know the feeling I'm talking about. It doesn't come until people allow themselves to scream, outwardly or inwardly or whatever way they can.
Breathtaking. I love it. -
Wow, this is awesome! It's so sad though... what book are you talking about? I want to read it....
dangerous-angel
~Jessica~ -
This was such a beautiful and moving poem. I loved the form that you used and the use of spacing and lines... was just perfect for this poem! Excellent write!
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DEAD SHIT
Dear angel, your 'dead rose' took me to places I thought forsaken. Why is that? -
Great write,it is a style that I am not familiar with but like very much, it is very visual and the story came through very clear ,I would like to see more in this style, so I will keep my eyes open, hope you do well in the competition. I think it is great and flows as soft as silk.
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Totally awesome! Deep and very moving.
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perfect
wow i loved this poem... in fact i just bookmarked it. your description of the pain of loosing a child is aweinspiring -
This is totally incredible. So cynical, and sad. I took it as a general metaphor for life, especially from the perspective of those who have grown old, until I read your comments. This is so depressing, but so creatively done, it is astounding. I like the way your style is evolving.
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Excellent
Wow, that was totally amazing! and all from a book you read? Totally creative and moving.Loved it. -
This is a one of a kind! Brilliant write!! Great flow and everything!
Mandi -
awesome as always
this is amazing meg..as always..nice work..i connected with this poem from the very first line...very awesome indeed..can't wait until saturday! -
Sadly beautiful
The stark pain in this is well done. I myself being a mom would loose it for a while if one of my children left me. You can feel the compassion you have for the subjects very clearly and that makes this all the more powerful. -
This is phenomonal! This is one of those poems that comes few and far between. So indredibly original, and descriptive. You had me captivated at the first stanza. Great job. You might wanna name it something like "The Need For Dead Roses", or something to do with the last line. That would really add emphasis to an already spectacular ending. This is going on my favourites, and I most certainly will read more!
~Smidge~
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This made me cry, I've lost my first born son and the emotions in this poem . . . Wow. Do you remember what the book was called? I would like to pick it up sometime.
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I love the structure and way you wrote this poem. It's very beautiful and captivating, drawing the reader to every word. Excellent job!
~Ss -
This was very powerful. Losing a child must be very painful. This really expressed that emotion quite well. beautiful work.
Take care
Kat -
Wow.. I like it. Its like.. something different of what we see everyday. Great job!
Much love and peace,
Syk. -
I liked how you wrote it about someone else because a lot of people don't even do that. Great job on your poetry, keep it up.
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
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