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Misplaced Existance

Nobody knows
In complete honesty they don't
I live alone
Like them

Nobody remembers
What my smile used to look like
Just not quite
The same

Nobody feels
The unbearable pain that I do
When once again
They forgot

I am invisible
To them
And to all
I forgot how to tell them
I want to
Be their all

Nobody sees
That I sit alone in the corner
Why am I so
Unseen?

Nobody laughs
Ever, with or without me
And I cannot
Recall how

Nobody asks
How I'm feeling this morning
When it's clear
I'm sick

I am invisible
To them
And to all
I forgot how to tell them
I want to
Be their all

Author notes

Basically about my existance, as it is. I forgot how to smile or laugh, and nobody really notices me anymore. It's very weird, because the last few years I've been the center-piece of everything, and all of a sudden, everything's gone. And I sit here today, without real emotion, no longer able to write well, because I can't feel. I beg for emotion, but it's gone.
You know what I mean?
Written January 11th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • Zarokk666
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    Very strong poem my friend (as always, he he)
    The invisibility you describe, I know that feeling all to well.
    As for myself I find that " transparent" existence almost unbearable
    Really, any kind of acknowledgment is preferred compared to that which you describe in this poem ( at least in my opinion)
    I like this poem very much, my dear friend.
    Maybe because I find it kindda easy to relate to having been virtually invisible, unwillingly trapped in the stereotype of the outsider for longer than I care to remember.
    as for suggestions regarding revisions of the poem I can find only one tiny flaw, the word Existance (should be existence)
    Other than that I find your poem to be very good
    Your words are as accurate as ever Mj, once again you impress me

    Hope to hear from you soon my friend
    Take care

    Zarok

  • kartikey91
    June 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Top class!

    This is without doubt one of the best pems I have come across in my whole life.I dont know why but this poem might as well be presented as a really touching song.I guess its because I myself try to create songlike poetry [but haven't succeded ]
    The poem is very nice and really allows me to relate painful moments of the strange & weird thing called life.

  • Beautiful Irony
    January 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I also understand what you mean, your writing portrayed it really well!
    'I am invisible
    To them
    And to all
    I forgot how to tell them
    I want to
    Be their all'
    Is my favourite part, I cant explain it, but it seemed to me to be the bit with the most emotion. This was a really great write, well done!
    -Keep Writing-
    ~Badger~


  • Subliminal Delusion
    January 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Truthful

    Yes I understand what you mean. It's like when you want to be alone everyone always there to bug you. But then when you need someone everyone disappears. I was having this conversation just yesterday night with my friend. A great poem, good luck in the contest. May I suggest that you put the poem so it's center of the page, it might look better.