Spare me the 3 words that burn your tongue
Hide them in your bones
Let your flesh dissolve
With the regrets of your last chance
I crash my car
In the wall you built for me
The sulfur smells so good to you
My ashes in your lungs - a last goodbye
Memories
We lived with our illusions
We grew up and we moved on
Now there are blood stains on our star
Author notes
tell me your thoughts on this.i guess the subject is kinda obvious.
Written January 10th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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very good imagery. especially the bloodstained stars. we've all got them.
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This is really a grand poem, the title though long is good. But, the title doesn't sound right. 'The Stars That Burn The Faster Are Always The Brightest Ones'. In my opinion it would sound better if Faster was changed to Fastest or take out that second The to keep it making sense. Just my opinion so, you can just push it out the window if you'd like.
I love that final line in the poem, brillant. Totally rad.
Great poem, and thanks so much for commenting on mine.
Peace and Love,
Leah -
unlike fallingforever5 I think the title is rather long for the poem. I do liker the content of the poem and your word choice. great imagery and good word choice. Nice write
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robin -
oh goodness this is WONDERFUL...i LOVED the line "Now there's blood stains on our star" brilliant...<3
karina<333 -
I think this is awesome, great imagery man,
I love the title too and the last line
"Now there's blood on our star"
yet another great write. Keep it up -
Very clever write you.
I like it a lot, the part about crashing your car into a wall built by 'someone else' is awesome imagary. My thoughts are...uhm...I like it, and I guess we've all been there. Everyone gets hurt in one way or another throughout life. I'm glad you took the time to share your emotions.
-Mike
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