Rain, rain, rain...
My third shirt today
The furnace isn't working, and
I'm waiting on the gas company
So I clean the Coi pond
Brimming with water
And palm frond
Thinking of when I met you
I must have been a rescue.
Young prostitute, shirking responsibility
You brought out, in me, a sensibility
You said "You're an artist: not a casualty,
A courtesan with philosophy, a freak of
Evolution. Have you seen the
Black fish in my pond?"
Now, I've cleaned your pond for five years
Watching as the water clears
Away my wasted younger years
What strange ways people bond.
Author notes
For David
Written January 10th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I don't know if I may have told you this before, but you remind me of a young Lou Reed. I can't seem to pick one specific thing about your wriiting that grabs, I think I just drown in your words when I read them. Excellent writing Horus8.
Anna -
I think perhaps you should have placed if not won with this gem- it is great writing that I sure as hell enjoyed
david -
This was quite interesting and had alot of imagery! I found this refreshing and boy I wish I had a nice little pond in my backyard. well I have two kissing fish..i like watching them make out its..amusing and shows how bored I am!
Great poem horus8!
-nicci -
I am enthralled with the picture I get from this piece...and full of questions about the true meaning of "black fish", metaphorically speaking you are a winner and you get my applause, because, somehow, I read this as a sexual/love type poem and in that instance it is smooth as Johnny Walker...
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I love this. There is nothing else I can say about it. Apart from 'black fish' is probably the most beautiful metaphor I've seen used in a long time. Barbie. Xx
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Yes, so do I, in the backyard that is.
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i love you too.
i only mentioned it, because we have koi in our pond in the bkyard.
they're pretty...
N...
Edited on Jan 11, 2:11 because ''. -
You know what? You're right Koi is better, thanks.
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Actually, it's both, but Coi more often. I checked.
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well my love, it's Koi not Coi, and people do stupid things, for stupid reasons.
thats, probably why i dont like many of them.
N... -
This is probubly one of the est poems i have readon Ap. I really like it. NIce job!Thank you so much for sharing it. I wouldn't change a thing!
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Sweet
I'm speachless, as always the storm is never without it's raining like the days of Noah on the inside and there's no boat to hitch a ride on. -
i hate this rain, the other day i hydroplaned and almost crashed, i had good luck because there was a pool of water that broke my momentum, anyways good poem, i liked it alot , keep writing
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Well yeah, we're in the same storm silly.
Of course I'm with you, screw this.
must be ten feet of snow on big bear
poor bastards. -
hmmmm... liked it, interesting poem. I find this a difficult style to write but you done a great job here. Well done
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yeah... well the poem is good.... but damn... the rain we are having every single darn day is starting to really piss me off. Geeeeeez.... is there such a thing as a sun????????????? I HATE WINTER.... I HATE COLD.... I HATE RAIN...... whew... get the point?
Don -
So amazing when someone takes the time to see past what we are pretending to be. And then lifts us out of our pain, and guides us to the beauty of the world that all have a right to. We all make mistakes. Thank goodness there are people there to help us. Then we have to remember to try and do the same.
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great
well, this poem is very interesting, not my style, but nontheless, simplicity in its finest. good job on the write, have a wonderful day.
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1 - 18 of 18
10 old applause
