Far up in the mountains high
Its silhouette against the sky
There stands a castle dark and tall
Surrounded by a rocky wall
And there inside that castle deep
Are secrets that the locals keep
For somewhere lurking there within
Is something that should not have been
It prowls the catacombs by night
And fills the villagers with fright
An abomination so they say
That should not see the light of day
The legends say that long ago
The castle grounds were all aglow
When a baron and his lovely bride
First built it on the mountainside
The parties and the gala balls
Abounded in the castle walls
One day amidst all of the mirth
The news was heard there’d be a birth
The baron soon would have a son
To inherit all that he’d begun
The castle soon was filled with joy
At prospects of a baby boy
His lady labored hard and long
But something then went very wrong
And what came in the world that day
Was not human the people say
The baron closed the castle door
The balls and parties were no more
And no one really knows the fate
Of the thing beyond the castle gate
As years went by the baron aged
Within his castle locked and caged
Until at last he finally died
But people would not go inside
Until the bravest of them all
Dared enter in the castle hall
Inside they searched for many days
Within the castles tunnel maze
The horror that they found inside
Was something that they could not hide
Rotted corpses strewn around
Removed from chambers underground
As they searched about so slowly
They felt a presence quite unholy
It watched them from the shadows deep
As all about them it would creep
Those hearty souls then quickly fled
That castle place of rotted dead
In fires of hell though they may burn
They vowed they never would return
Over the years the stories flew
The thing within the castle grew
Shunning the light and eyes of men
Safe in the castle deep within
At night It left the castle doors
And wandered out onto the moors
With darkness as its only friend
Where people It would not offend
One day a village maiden fair
Traveled up the mountain there
To forage in the nearby woods
For herbs and seeds and other goods
She lingered in the woods too long
The cold north winds were blowing strong
And as the sun began to fade
She followed down the path she’d made
But in the dark she lost her way
And off the path she went astray
She tripped over a rocky ledge
And fell off of the mountains edge
Her fate it seemed was very bleak
As she clung to a rocky peak
What happened next folks aren’t quite sure
But something strong took hold of her
And plucked her from the rocky ledge
To place her gently on the edge
Her ankle though received a sprain
She couldn’t walk without great pain
The thing that saved her from her plight
Lifted her up and held her tight
It carried her with awkward stride
Down the treacherous mountainside
It took the scared and injured lass
And placed her by the village pass
A worried crowd of local men
Were sure she’d not be seen again
Then seeing It with her in arm
They knew that It had done her harm
Before the girl could stay their hands
The crowd had chased It off their lands
With shouts and yells of “Evil brute”
The village men all gave pursuit
With rocks and stones thrown at Its head
Back up the mount the creature fled
Bloody and hurt It reached the path
To escape the village people’s wrath
It fled into Its castle keep
Down to the tunnels dark and deep
The men did not dare follow It
Down there into the darkened pit
The crowd decided to adjourn
And went back home ne’er to return
When the girl relayed the real events
They said her story made no sense
But villagers cannot explain
Why every day in sun or rain
The maiden kneels before the gate
At evening when it’s getting late
A silent kiss she softly blows
And places there a single rose
And down within the catacombs
Where people say a creature roams
Within the darkness still and deep
You can hear a young man weep
Author notes
Dark Fantasy ~ (Castle Of Tears)
Written January 8th, 2005
In a list
- fav poems • next in list
- Haven's List • next in list
- Fantasy • next in list
- The Best Pieces of Handiwork • next in list
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What did you think
Comments
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Excellent
As you spun this great tale, you kept this reader interested in the love shown by the sad boy. I lovely fairy tale of love.
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Not perfect, but definitely very, very good. I really enjoyed it. It kept me interested and I enjoyed the wordage.
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thats clever
i like it very twisty, good job man -
loved it! this was amazing! I loved it. I thought that it was the best thing I have read ever. I am very impressed. It was like beauty and the beast, but amazing. You are very talented.
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love love loved it!!!
thank you for taking me back to my childhood.
i loved this poem it was a wonderful fairy tale moment for me.
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Well, I'll be. Wonderful.
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Ah..what a heartfelt story you have shared..quite a despritive and touching one...I love it..and thanks for such a wonderful piece...
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Cheers!
This is wonderful. A great story. This reminds me of classics!
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That was absolutely amazing. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The story was brilliantly told in verse that flowed well and it kept my attention right to the end.
Very well done!
. Rewarded 4
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Wow!
Wow! this is long poem to read. I always admired poets who could tell a good story and stay focus rhyming for so long. This is a good story nonetheless. Look forward to reading more of ur stories soon. Hope u win in ur contest, because it was well worth reading once, but not twice since I don't have a long attention span. Saddie23 -
oh my gosh. this is simply stunning. amazing. you should definately try to get this published. its so gorgeous i cant even try to describe it. oh my gosh. i just cant get over it. amazing job! lovely.
. Rewarded 4
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Fantastic job!
You did a fabulous job. I've always admired those who can weave an entire story into a poem. It's such a difficult task, but your effort shows wonderfully in this piece!
My favorite stanzas are the final two:
"The maiden kneels before the gate
At evening when it’s getting late
A silent kiss she softly blows
And places there a single rose
And down within the catacombs
Where people say a creature roams
Within the darkness still and deep
You can hear a young man weep"
They seem purely.. magical to say the least.
Once again, amazing job! -
superb
"A silent kiss she softly blows
And places there a single rose"
i really love those line...it keeps ringing in my head. i wouldn't wonder if i will say it in my dreams^_^ its really awesome..
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wow you dont lie iti verry long, but well written.
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Its incredible
I love the story that you told and how everything flows.
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Wow what a story
With each write, I always try and better myself. Reading this poem, I have a long way to go to reach the awe of this write. Enjoyed reading it very, very much.
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Great story. I am new to this web site and thought I would see the number one of all time. Very well done.
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Fantastic
Amazing poem... I didn't stop reading that... Usually I hate long poems but that was magic!!!
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absolutely wow, great story, nice rhyming, creative
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no comment,
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I decided to check out the most popular poems of all time on here and saw that yours was #1 on the list; and it certainly deserves to be there! This poem is absolutely amazing!! I'm a huge fan of medieval/mythical/fantasy type writings and this is definitely now on the top of my favorites list!! Such a well told tale with such flawless, flowing rhythm and rhyme!!
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very well told
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really gripping tale..well done
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wow!
you give a very long and interesting storytelling here that keeps the readers attention throughout the entire poem. Very nicely put together and good graphics to go with it
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This is an amazing poem. Now I know y this poem is the lifetime favorite on here. U are a wonderful poet n if u haven't already, u need to publish ur work. This is amazing the way it shows the way ppl assume things n they rarely are true. I feel for the "it" and appreciate the woman for loving the beast even if noone else does or supports her doing it. It shows courage and true love in amazing ways. congrats and bravo
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wow!!!!
this is superb!
what a tale you tell!
flawless rhythm and rhyme!
you use period words which really authenticate this piece!!
I read it all the way through with rapt attention!! hardly breathing i was so caught up in it
simply,.....PERFECT..and so worthy of being the most popular poem on AP!!!
a tragic tale to be sure......just divine!!!
love the ending too!>>it pulled on my heart strings...
~Sailor Ptolema
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Very well written
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This is stunning. one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I could read this over and over again. Truly a work of art. Loved it. It captured me all the way through. Kept the flow and everything. Nicely written my friend.
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its... amazing i honestly want to go vry
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After 1132 applause there's not much I can add. Gripping story that's written in with flawless rhyme and rhythm. (Actually I guess there is something that I can add, which is my 3 applause, so here they are.
Congrats on having the most popular poem on the site.
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It looks like you're one of a kind in 'allpoetry.com'
Great job!
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that was incredible. I don't know what else to say. That was top notch.
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very well written! it flowed very well! a very good read for my first run thru!
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fabulous
This poem is truly fabulous. The story is really touching. Even though it's quite a long poem, I didnt, even for a second, find my attention drifting away from it. A wonderful story too..and couldn't have been told in a more beautiful way.
Well, to summarise it all...Im not surprised that this poem is right at the top of the alltime popularity list
Enjoyed it very very much!!
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You are amazing Steve
I read this before and loved it. Will read it again and love it again...
Bravo Pal!
Mat -
oh my god..what a wonderful story...so sad
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AMAZINGGG!!!!
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Bravo!
You have done an amazing job here! Not only have you wrote a story that keeps the reader caught with in the tale but the flow of ryme is wonderful and I think you have skill to turn it in to a book. Your hard work has paid off! I enjoyed your lovely read.
. Rewarded 6
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Awww that's so awesome.
YOu could take each little verse and illistarte a picture and have an amazing child's story. Sad ending but a good one. -
THAT IS A VERY MOVING POEM
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Wow
This is very inspiring and I can not believe that you can tell such an inspiring, amazing story and still have all the words have perfect rythym and rhyme. Let me just say that this is one of the most special poems i've read in a very long time. Please keep writing.
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OMG I love it! ^^ Kudos!
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"And what came in the world that day" should be (And what came into the world that day) I also feel that i could point out other problems, but that would be over-kill.... so i must say that this poem is beautiful in every single way, i loved it and i'll never forget the poem of the creature i've never met.
. Rewarded 6
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it's very good but you know where it,s going and it drags on a bit.
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long
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Beauty and the Beast
A marvelous retelling of a classic story. It is too bad that people persist in confusing physical ugliness with inner moral evil. It is the 'pretty people' of the world that have done more damage to this world and the people in it than we will ever know.
Thanks for sharing.
Erik
. Rewarded 6
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Wow! For a poem this long to have that kind of structured rhyme and still tell a fascinating story ... that's phenomenal. I personally love fantasy, so this really hit home for me. Though I don't write from the point of view of a sorrowful myth or legend. I appreciate the dark aspects of this story, but I connect more so with a cold-hearted brutality. But this is only to say with fantasy, my other preferences stretch far beyond this.
But in any case, my hat is off to you. This was by far one of the top three contemporary rhyming-fantasy poem I have read. Trust me, I've read quite a few as well. So great job, and please write another one like this. I'm anticipating it now.
Justin -
Very well written
Aside from the rhyming, it flows very well...
it reminds me of the story of a beauty and her beast...
it seems while we all fear what we don't understand it only takes a strong hand from fear to help guide us into knowledge...
. Rewarded 4
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Well done
Flows well. Good rhyme and rhythm. Interesting story.
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Excellent
A very fine write. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Reminds me of many old horror movies, of which the Dracula series is just one.
. Rewarded 4
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Oh my god
This,.. i cant even find words to describe it. Its fantastic. Beautiful, poetic. Best poem ever. -
Awesome
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Jesus...
This is such a great epic. I don't think I'll ever forget this, it'sso awsome...
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wow!!!
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I love this poem, it had me stuck to my screen... it captured my attention... and it sure has a live of it's own. Thank you.
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great story i really enjoyed it
i love it i look forward to reading more of your work
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You know, I can remember reading this poem a long time ago when I first joined AP
As I re-read it tonight, it is every bit as good now as it was back then.
Like one of those old classics that just keeps getting better with age, the kind that you keep fondly revisiting every now and then.
This tale is still magically woven and just goes to prove that misconception is born from misunderstanding and not taking the time to find out about or get to know somone or something.
There is a lesson to be learned here and a message to be relayed.
Have you ever thought about writing a sequal? It might be worth considering
Sapphire
. Rewarded 8
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Love is capable ...
to turn the darkest dungeon into a tower of light. You have told this so wondrously. I loved this narrative. I would have loved the ending to be all light, with no sorrow at all. As it will be one day.
How deeply this touched me ... how the sorrow gripped me ... but then the hope you gave, was just as powerful, yet so gentle.
Yes. This is how it is.
Myra
. Rewarded 8
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The only criticism I have is about these lines:
"Before the girl could stay their hands
The crowd chased It off of their lands"
I feel like the rhythym is off a bit, maybe "The crowd HAD chased It off of their lands"?
other than that, ....amazing!
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Wow.
Just wow.
I'm awed!
THIS IS AMAZING!
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it took my breath away.... it was amazing!
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nice!
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wow
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That was truely awsome, I really enojyed this. Your us of rhyme and your lenth just make it all the better. Congrats Dearest Poet, on makeing my day.
::Smiles::
. Rewarded 4
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Wow!! this is a work of genius. I loved and enjoyed every line. The ending was very touching and it made me tremble slightly, it's sad and very very imaginary. You have a great imagination and firm gripe on your words. Amazing writing!
. Rewarded 4
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Whoa, last couple lines and suddenly a rushing tingle up my spine. That was amazing my friend, excellent job. Someday I'll write something this good...hopefully. A small note, a simple thing because I'm nit picky...on line 46 you have two spaces between the word "felt" and the word "a". Again, excellent poem and story.
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WOW!!
Love it my friend! I am going to mark this as a favorite. It reminds me of several stories. 1 Beauty and the Beast, 2 Hunchback of Notre Dom. Thank you for sharing?
. Rewarded 4
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I normally don't read long poetry, but this was worth it. You did an excellent job! Great flow and rhyming, and the story was good too.
. Rewarded 4
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I loved this! The story is...eh! All I know is that this poem was absolutely worth reading. Amazing job.
. Rewarded 4
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this was excelent!
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Oh this is really lovely. When I first saw the title I was sure the title was a metaphor and I was in for a cheesy ride...but no, it's a sweet story. I can't believe how the easy flow is consistent through out the entire piece, and how natural the rhyming is. Excellent!
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that poem was butiful
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This is really amazing. As soon as I began to read I was completely enthralled. Wanting to see what would happen at the end, it held my attention until the finish. The story line is really good and the rhyme scheme also adds to it. I really enjoyed reading this. You did a wonderful job!
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Amazing
You are amazing. You are gonna be famous one day im sure of it. -
BEAUTIFY
this poem was very well writen with the beautiful rhyme and kept me reading to the end. You can't get a better poem than this! It is very hard to find someone with a gift like you have! you could turn this into a book if you wanted too. This could be the next beauty and the beast! Or even the hunchback of Nortre Dame! This poem really speaks to me. and you can't get much better than this. with the rhym and it's like a poem that you would see in a poem book. This could be a major change to the way that people look, read, and write poems. You def. have a talent for writeing! stick to it!
-Xenophelius Stone -
this was awesome
this piece is awesome, wonderful write you kept me reading till the very end.i enjoyed the whole tale.just un to read. i'm bookmarking this
. Rewarded 4
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Very nice!
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Oh My god.
This is the most amazing poem I have ever read, and I've read a lot. This captures the beast within every person and gives light to a world in every being. This poem may be a fantasy, but in holds true in the hearts of some. This poem could be turned into a kids book and you could make a lot of money off it if you wanted to go that way with it... This deserves more then the three smiley's I can give it.
. Rewarded 8
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Quite a fable.
Very cool picture.
Looks like my mother in laws house.
I have a few dark poems you would enjoy, but none on this biblical proportion.
You've the talented of a screen writer as well as a riveting story teller my brother.
Enjoyed it immensely.
BLESSINGS ALWAYS,
LOWELL POE
. Rewarded 6
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I'm brand new to the concept of writing poetry and I must say reading this poem has opened up new bounds to poetry. A wonderful combination of artistic imagery and cleaver story-telling. I really enjoyed it.
. Rewarded 4
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Amazing imagry that was so vivid and such creativity kept me captived and intrigued. i was blown away by your use of rhyme and the skill you obviously have which enabled you to continue with it through out the entire poem. Well done and i'm so pleased i read this piece!
. Rewarded 6
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yes, very good indeed. It was a captivating read. From the first words the line drips with spirit. Many claps this does merit. Here's to the love forbid. The aching heart truest depths must be hid. Ere the overwhelming scared refrain. Hate caused even greater pain. Two lovers forever apart. Though they are one in heart.
. Rewarded 6
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Magnificent write! I applaud thee! I loved how you could tell a story that vivid, and keep up with the rhyme!
. Rewarded 4
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This was fantastic1 I was spellbound from the first line to the last! It had great imagery and told the story with suspense and emotion. The rhyme scheme was great the whole time, which kept the story going and made it easier to read and understand it! Fantastic job!
. Rewarded 6
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