Far up in the mountains high
Its silhouette against the sky
There stands a castle dark and tall
Surrounded by a rocky wall
And there inside that castle deep
Are secrets that the locals keep
For somewhere lurking there within
Is something that should not have been
It prowls the catacombs by night
And fills the villagers with fright
An abomination so they say
That should not see the light of day
The legends say that long ago
The castle grounds were all aglow
When a baron and his lovely bride
First built it on the mountainside
The parties and the gala balls
Abounded in the castle walls
One day amidst all of the mirth
The news was heard there’d be a birth
The baron soon would have a son
To inherit all that he’d begun
The castle soon was filled with joy
At prospects of a baby boy
His lady labored hard and long
But something then went very wrong
And what came in the world that day
Was not human the people say
The baron closed the castle door
The balls and parties were no more
And no one really knew the fate
Of the thing beyond the castle gate
As years went by the baron aged
Within his castle locked and caged
Until at last he finally died
But people would not go inside
Until the bravest of them all
Dared enter in the castle hall
Inside they searched for many days
Within the castles tunnel maze
The horror that they found inside
Was something that they could not hide
Rotted corpses strewn around
Removed from chambers underground
As they searched about so slowly
They felt a presence quite unholy
It watched them from the shadows deep
As all about them it would creep
Those hearty souls then quickly fled
That castle place of rotted dead
In fires of hell though they may burn
They vowed they never would return
Over the years the stories flew
The thing within the castle grew
Shunning the light and eyes of men
Safe in the castle deep within
At night It left the castle doors
And wandered out onto the moors
With darkness as its only friend
Where people It would not offend
One day a village maiden fair
Traveled up the mountain there
To forage in the nearby woods
For herbs and seeds and other goods
She lingered in the woods too long
The cold north winds were blowing strong
And as the sun began to fade
She followed down the path she’d made
But in the dark she lost her way
And off the path she went astray
She tripped over a rocky ledge
And fell off of the mountains edge
Her fate it seemed was very bleak
As she clung to a rocky peak
What happened next folks aren’t quite sure
But something strong took hold of her
And plucked her from the rocky ledge
To place her gently on the edge
Her ankle though received a sprain
She couldn’t walk without great pain
The thing that saved her from her plight
Lifted her up and held her tight
It carried her with awkward stride
Down the treacherous mountainside
It took the scared and injured lass
And placed her by the village pass
A worried crowd of local men
Were sure she’d not be seen again
Then seeing It with her in arm
They knew that It had done her harm
Before the girl could stay their hands
The crowd had chased It off their lands
With shouts and yells of “Evil brute”
The village men all gave pursuit
With rocks and stones thrown at Its head
Back up the mount the creature fled
Bloody and hurt It reached the path
To escape the village people’s wrath
It fled into Its castle keep
Down to the tunnels dark and deep
The men did not dare follow It
Down there into the darkened pit
The crowd decided to adjourn
And went back home ne’er to return
When the girl relayed the real events
They said her story made no sense
But villagers cannot explain
Why every day in sun or rain
The maiden kneels before the gate
At evening when it’s getting late
A silent kiss she softly blows
And places there a single rose
And down within the catacombs
Where people say a creature roams
Within the darkness still and deep
You can hear a young man weep
Author notes
s e washam
Contest 1
Dark Fantasy ~ (Castle Of Tears)
Written January 8th, 2005
This was my first attempt at epic poetry.
In a list
- fav poems • next in list
- Haven's List • next in list
- amazing poems • next in list
- Fantasy • next in list
- The Best Pieces of Handiwork • next in list
- Greatest poems • next in list
A contest entry
- A Poem That I Can Get Into!!! Give Me Your Best! by MJ Forgives.
1000 points, ended August 13, 78 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes! by Karra-Mayy.
1600 points, ended November 21, 321 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Prewrites. ♥ by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ends November 27, 416 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1072 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I like this write. It iw a wonderful write. You did a goo job on this.
"
When the girl relayed the real events
They said her story made no sense
But villagers cannot explain
Why every day in sun or rain
The maiden kneels before the gate
At evening when it’s getting late
A silent kiss she softly blows
And places there a single rose
And down within the catacombs
Where people say a creature roams
Within the darkness still and deep
You can hear a young man weep"
These were the best parts in my opinion. I love it. Thank you for sharing -
this inspires me to write better
this amazing poetry -
Beautiful!
I absolutely was entranced by this poem. The story was so tragically beautiful. It almost made me cry! It reminded me a bit of Frankenstein (maybe that's because I just read the novel for school).
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very intriguing, well written, great flow. I could go on but to be honest your name is synonomous with great writing so I'm just being redundant to so what has been said so many times before and will be said over and over again as long as you write. you could write a commercial jingle and make a million bucks, so I know you knew you could do this. This no surprise to me, but the level of enjoyment was. I mean I've read this epic poems before,even wrote one, but I think what did it for me is that it was so uncomplicated. You told a tale, made it captivating, and held my interest from beginning to end. Your talent is legendary. Please write another one.
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Holy crap! That was a fantastic read! Your rhyming was excellent, your words beautiful. A great story and place your words painted for me. Such a vivid choice of words, strung together so strongly, this piece was utterly fantastic. I salute you on this work of pure art, this masterpiece. Congratulations on your gold!
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Nice
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i really loved it.
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:| Omg I love it!! No words to say.
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I think I've read this before but it was worth another look
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great well written I love it
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uMMMM....
..... Wow and holy crap that was a good write, quite a talent! I would not change a thing about this poem. Epic writes like this need to be your forte!
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really great writing! good job!
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captivating! i feel as if i just read a fairy tale by the brothers grimm. i love that you created an entire plot and then cleverly executed it with smart rhymes and a pleasant rhythm. i cant believe this was your first attempt ! bravo!
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I did enjoy this ...
Beautifully written mate ! The story of it is inspired . And I find myself almost emotional for the "Young man ."
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WOW!!
1st attempt? Epic poetry is right. I think i found my new fav. Have u considered writing childrens fantasy? Amazing. Keep up the good work. I was mezmerized till the end.
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Good dark imagery.
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really brilliant, the story kept me completley entranced throughout, and some of the rhyme in this poem was incredibally clever. 10/10
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WOW
Great story! Epic.
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That was an amazing poem, a great rhyme scheme, and I was absolutely captivated through the whole read. My son listened and enjoyed it also, as I read it out loud.
Kudos!
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awweeesome
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this was wonderfully written. it was an entire fantasy adventure that was filled with a rainbow of emotions!! the change from happiness to fear and loneliness and that the anxiety coming to the end only to touch the reader's heart with sadness that it ended in such loneliness. this was a beautiful tale. reminds me of the old tales they would speak so full of imagery and emotions!!! it almost feels like i were listening to a told by ancient wise elves. a spectacular write!!!! i raise to my feet in applause!!!!!!
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beautiful imagery!
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awesome
such a pleasure to read, it flows perfectly and held me spell bound till the end.
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nice imagery
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wow, it inspiring poem it's really beautiful
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captivating
wonderful, truly. This piece has captured my imagination. You have a true talent and i thank you for sharing it with us. -
Awww I remember reading this. I enjoyed reading this again. I like this poem. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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nice.
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fantastic work
You really griped me with this poem and its explaniations of that castle upon the mountainside, i felt like was there walking that path with in the darkend deep, its only sad she did not save the man from his saddened weep. x
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That is stunning poetry. I'm speechless!
ya All~Ways,
~ Jan ~ -
wow simple awesome, I very much enjoyed your poem and found it a pleasure to read, My favorite stanza was
The maiden kneels before the gate
At evening when it’s getting late
A silent kiss she softly blows
And places there a single rose
this really blew me away lol
I enjoyed you poem in whole all was wonderfull, good luck in the contest xoxo
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Lovely rhyme,flow and pace good luck
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Wow, are you ever talented!!!
Great Garbos Ghost!
I wish I had a QUARTER of the fine talent you obviously possess!
Outstanding piece you have here, my friend..truly!
All the very best to you in all your writing endeavors,
~Heavenly~
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wow,
somebody is talented
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I'mpretty sure this is most viewed as well as the most commented on poem here on AP! A very nice story.
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This was really great! It really had the feel of a romantic epic. I felt the story emulated all the greatest old classics, as well. Very tragic.
I felt that as it progressed beyond the exposition, too, that I was getting more drawn into finding out what happened. Definitely magnetic.
Excellent write!
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i don't understand how this hasn't won more contests or trophies it's a poem you can really dig into, take your time with reading - or read fast, and the impcat is still there... and wow, what a story it is indeed!! This was just so vivid, and yes - the sense of loss at the end, I really felt my heart go out to him... wow....
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Brilliant!! Truly Brilliant!!
I have read this poen 3 times and each time I have felt the bitter and sad emotions at the final verses.
It seems that I have read this as a children's story, or at least something similar, but then I think there may be many such stories.
Yes this poem is indeed an epic but more than worth while reading. your word choice is wonderful as well as the rhyming and flow of the poem. Admittedly the flow was slightly laboured in a couple of laces, but I would suggest that it might be expected in a poem of this length.
Congratulations on a superbely and brilliantly written poem.
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I skimmed
The poem was a bit long for so I started to skim. My favorite part was the very end "And down within the catacombs
Where people say a creature roams
Within the darkness still and deep
You can hear a young man weep". -
Impressive, and very much an epic poem
Well done on this.
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Very cool, nice story.
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perhaps one of the best poems ive read. it was amzing!! iactually didnt want it to end! thank you for writing it, and now im off to read it to my family, first time ive done that with a poem on all poetry!!
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omg that amazing!!
man i need to try harder to get as good, as good as that!!
i would give you as many applauses i could but im a noob so i cant afford any :'(
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i really enjoyed the story you were telling!
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wow
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Something that inspires
This is truely a great piece thanx for sharing I love it!
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this was in my you might like thing...and guess what? i do!
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Possibly my favourite poem on here....This was an awesome read, and a very intelligent write. Congratulations. Keep up the brilliance, Looking forward to more of your work. xx
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AMAZING
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wow very good very long but very good
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i clicked on 'you might like' and they were right... !
loved everything from the childhood lullaby to the fantastic allegory. i read this like a caught fish!
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I have tears in my eyes right now...this is truly a beautiful poem.
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Have just joined AP and this is one of the first poems I have read on here (thought i'd start with the popular ones) and this was a brilliant poem, beginners luck in choosing what to read maybe. Great working of a beauty and the beast tale =]
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Speechless...
An AP classic for sure. The rhyme, the flow, just everything about this piece, leaves speechless.
PS Adding you to my fav.
A. L. O'Prunty
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continued...
that kept me on edge the whole time reading it!!! I love it love it love it love it !!!!! -
bad ass!!
one of my absolute new favorites.. I love the picture with it as well !
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OMG THAT WAS GREAT!!!
wow! that was so totally great is wasn't funny! it is a marvelous attempt at epic poetry. encore!!!!!!!!!!!
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wow! this is pretty much AMAZING!
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this was a Great Story!
kinda reminded of me Beowulf's grendel!
GRAND JOB! Three Thumbs Up!
God Bless,
ZeInkslinger
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well oh shuckie darn thats probably the best poem i've ever read,its completly beyond amazing, beautiful!
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A beautiful poem. Reminiscent of the Beowulf epic of long ago--and other classics just as great. A wonderful and well-phrased poem.
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Oh my gosh! This was truly amazing!!!! You really did a fantastic job!!! I love it!!!
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Shock and awe.... Thats all i felt. Breathe taking, beautiful imagery. The best I've ever read. I bow down to you.
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Congrats on your gold trophy. Good luck in my contest and God bless.
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Brilliant
A simply brilliant piece of work. I love it. It's beautiful. The imagery ia in a great abundance. That truly is what makes a poem. But I realy would not call this an epic, it is far too short to be a piece of epic poetry. Loved it!
PS I would just love it if a person of your poetic mastery would critique a poem of mine.
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welll its amazin !!!!breath taking!!!!!and in some ways it describes the story of many people!!!the rhyme flew great in some areas but i guess you lost it in some parts!!!still amazing!!
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I think my heart just leapt through my computer screen.
This was beautifully written, easy to follow, and very graceful storytelling. I was seeing "Beauty and the Beast" the whole way, but then it was so much more.
Well done.
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Long Poem
Reminds me a little of Gormanghast was that your inspiration???
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this is amazing soo breathtaking i love it it should be published its just a beautiful poem thank you for putting it here to let all of us read it its a blessing bravo wonderful write
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Beautiful and Inspiring
This is my favorite poem of all time, its rare to find a poem with emotion and still having great imagry, brilliant. -
wonderful
ou did a marvelous job with your poem. Keep up the great work.
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It is actually unusual to leave me speechless but you succeeded. The only thing lift to say is WOW!!!
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wow, this is the best thing i've read in a long while. And of course the imagery is amazing i could picture it all . Lovely picture to go with it...definately sad with the villages issues.. but of course -.- Great write!:]
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Wow I want to cry so badly right now. I didn't even noticed how long it was. It was wonderful, beautiful, and sad.I feel like theres a knot in my throat right now. Your on the finalists list. I hope you do wonderful in my contest and thanks for entering.
-Jess
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Wow, this is addicting. you could make a whole story about this. It makes me want to cry. Very moving. Makes me not want to judge people. :'(tear)':
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Very enjoyable poem. This was like a book I couldn't put down, and you delivered magnificently at the end. Very reminiscet of Frankenstein, but it told its own story. I lok forward to reading more of your work.
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Excellent!
A gripping story that had a lovely flow.
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An amazing tale. It drew me in immediatlely. Beautifu
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Ah I read this already before when you posted it. It is very good by the way
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Besides the longitude of this poem you seem well above an amateur
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A Wonderful Story
Wow! Well-done. A full story. Its long but I had to read through to the end because its so nicely written. Very nicely done!!!!
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Holyander Hell
Thsi is very long but worth the time reading sir this is indeed one of the best poems i have ever read i wish a could have written this myself but the glory goes to one of the masters your no doubt one of the best here i give it a 10/10 awesome dark poem it flowed very well and i enjoyed the rhyme scheme as should others my favorite part
One day a village maiden fair
Traveled up the mountain there
To forage in the nearby woods
For herbs and seeds and other goods
She lingered in the woods too long
The cold north winds were blowing strong
And as the sun began to fade
She followed down the path she’d made
But in the dark she lost her way
And off the path she went astray
She tripped over a rocky ledge
And fell off of the mountains edge
very epic long poem indeed i loved reading this your a truly a master.
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Wowwwww! Idol!!!!
...Sir this is indeed an awesome work.....it really inspired me to have fashion and dedication with 100% effort when i write something so i can create better work. thank you very much!!!!
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i think I have commented before...but this is always worth coming back for another read!! excellent from start to finish!! primo!
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well written, a avery nice and sad story... i love all of the rhyming!! u r a very good poet. Keep it up!!
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a story well told. seems perfect to recite on a dark night to a captivated audience. nicely done.
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I love the story here! Its beautiful and well written, no holes in it just lovely. Good luck in the contest!
x
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It is very good...reminds me of the latter part of Frankenstein mixed with another story Very good write.
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I love it
this is a nice write its wonderfully written -
I hearted it, amazing, lured me in, can't wait to read more of your work
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Beautiful.
great imagery, I was pulled in as soon as I began reading this.
thanks for entering,
good luck -
wow, that epic was amazing, WOW
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OMG THATS GOOD AS!!!!!! loved it the whole way through, it was completely capturing and a good story too. I dont think i could tell the story any better than that, let alone in the AABB phrasing you used. A job well done, keep penning!
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i was drawn into this piece from the second i started to read it. i really like that you use rhyme well, and it doesn't seem forced. your flow is also incredible, which is hard to find in rhyming pieces. awesome job.
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i was drawn into this piece from the second i started to read it. i really like that you use rhyme well, and it doesn't seem forced. your flow is also incredible, which is hard to find in rhyming pieces. awesome job.
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Beautiful
I love how you painted a beautiful story with your poetry, It kept my interest through out the whole poem. It has a certain uniqueness to it that keeps it from being a cliche fairy tale, It has some of the traits of a classic fairy tale which I think makes it all the more interesting. good write. -
Ah..a curious take and wonderful story bringing eager emotions around the words..you have strong story lines with strong expression as well..well done...
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For your first attempt at epic poetry it is quite amazing. You told a wonderful story, almost like a fairytale. this is exactly the kind of story I love. And the way you worded it and your form makes it even better. This is for sure a quality piece of poetry you should be proud of. And I have to say I just love the ending.
"And there inside that castle deep
Are secrets that the locals keep
For somewhere lurking there within
Is something that should not have been"
I like the idea of this and the way you said this. It's my favorite bit for some reason.
I really enjoyed reading this, thank you. Hope you have a nice weekend
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captivating
I completely love this piece. It flows perfectly , and reads easily. It also has a wonderful story. This was one of the most enjoyable poems i have read in quite some time. I had no trouble picturing the story unfold in my mind as i read your words and in my opinion that is the true tell of great epic poem, to cast images into ones imagination and inspire them to become real in the mind. wonderful job here!
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