Physical waves of anger,
flowing through an enigmatic haze of false perception.
A flutter of light, a rainbow of darkness.
Watch the wretched writhe in lust,
and the lustful batter fists.
A truthful shame of knowledge,
fighting through the feast, and the bard's last dance.
A whiskey flavored ray of hope, a cognac scented shame.
Taste the filth of hopes decay,
and feel the shards of truth.
Author notes
Written January 6th, 2005
A contest entry
- Darkest Poems by the Darkest Poets by vaseline.
300 points, ended March 4, 2005, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I liked reading it out loud.
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you got that right. It does hold great images placed very well in the piece. Good work.
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Yea, the word lust is a bit redundent, but I liked the contradiction in the two lines. Wretched people feeling a lustful pain, like the psyche of a rapist, and lustful people beating their fists in anger, like a lover who has to see it. Know what I mean?
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ooo love the format and rhythm you have in writing this as well as the whole first stanza cept for the last line. The last line seems almost redundant in how you say it but meh its still kewl
Physical waves of anger,
flowing through an enigmatic haze of false perception.
A flutter of light, a rainbow of darkness.
Watch the wretched writhe in lust.
and course the last two lines you used in the second stanza are just an awsome ending and gives the good punch line - Truth.
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This is very nice, I like it. The words are strong enough to provoke feelings, but not so strong that they overpower the rhythm and flow of the lines. great job.
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well done
I liked it. You're a good writer. You should be proud of your poem. Short yet deep. Nice use of words. Great poem! Keep up the good work.
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I am much like the person that siad it was over their head. It reads very easily so it is a pleasure to read but I am sure there is much more than I got out of it to it. No reflection on the work. Merely on my stupidity I guess.
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Sounds pretty fucked up... i like
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I'm not educated enough to understand this poem. It has momentum, that I know. Lots of energy.
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Well, you clicked on my feature and didn't comment, but I will not do the same thing to you.
Your first line is very strong. The contradiction in the third line works well, and then you get into almost Armageddon imagery.
In the second stanza, second line, "bards" should be bard's.
More contradiction in the third line of that stanza, and you finish up with a powerful punch. Nice.
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