She lives in the shadows looking into the windows of my soul.
I should let her go, but she just laughs and smiles so sweet.
Desire, ambition, lust burn in her eyes, no love, never love.
A fallen one burrowed, nestled in my arms, my rigid embrace.
Her tainted lips press so softly against my neck, kissing gently.
Then, she whispers lies of love and loyalty I want, need to believe.
Author notes
Written January 5th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 88 of 88
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This is a very deep. Nice work. "I want, need to believe." This is
my favorite line in the entire poem. ~~Shannon~~ -
great jopb!
i think i'm in love with your poems.. they are soo nice,you have a gift use it wisely!!!!
...artemisa... -
Soo beautiful
Beautiful..WoW..i dont know what else to say but that. No love seems to be pure anymore and it is because of this that we all need to believe those "lies of love and loyalty"..Your talent for prose is not undermined by the way you convey emotion and that is incredible...I loved it and I'm adding you to my favorites. -
this is so true nobody loves purely anymore. i relate to this so much, it seems that guys have perfected what you just described... it is so sad, very beatifully written. i love it, it is short but very to the point..keep up the good work
hugs&kisses -
2 Thumbs Up
::sigh:: Aww... So sad, Yet so beautiful. Very nice write.
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WOW!! AMAZING!!
This poem iz amazing! Its beautiful! GOOD JOB!
...the words all like go together and the poem jus sounds amazing. lol I can's explain but I LUV THE POEM!!
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how can someone put such lies in a sacred thing called love.. such passion but yet so untrue.. doesn't deserve pure love and should not be the object of affection.. people should learn to love pure and sincere.. .. great poem..
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I like this a lot, you have a talent for words, thanks for sharing, I will be looking forward to more from you in the future..
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They never love back with the same intensity
And who knows?
Maybe we just feel for them because they fall
We could seem fool
But they can never fool us
Because we can see through the depths of their souls. -
a great poem full of meaning but I have to agree why be with her if your love is not returned. there is someone out there who will return it find them
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Desire, ambition, lust burn in her eyes, no love, never love.
A fallen one burrowed, nestled in my arms, my rigid embrace.
Her tainted lips press so softly against my neck, kissing gently.
Then, she whispers lies of love and loyalty I want, need to believe.
Fuckin' - A...just Fuckin' - A. I went through something like this with a guy that I use to know. Shit...this was a good poem, very short but to the point nonetheless. Sometimes it's the shortly-written poems that fully express and convey a deeper meaning.
I'm adding you to my favorites! -
Aww.. this is so sad and so beautiful! Wonderful job... I am printing this and putting this on my wall! Very Nicely Done!
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Im so spechless, all i can really say is Beautiful! WOW! its so simplyu beautiful! you did a very fine job on this poem! Keep up the BEAUTIFUL work!
thanks for shraring, happy readings,
xXxKelli*ClairexXx -
yes
this is just a hunch- and I don't know you at all, nor do I know the young lady who this poem is dedicated too, but I think that perhaps, just maybe you should. -
superb write
this is such a really awesome piece of write here. I really enjoyed reading your write and thank you so much for sharing this with my family and I.waiting to read alot more of your great writing here. thank you so much a thumbs up here. take a long bow and a pat on the back. -
It is very beautifull. It's.. *stuck for words* well, it's just beautifull.
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Moving
This is so beautiful & so sad...it's a desperate begging almost...makes me think you're asking, "Please, won't you let me stay in my dream for a little while longer?"
Thinking of my past...this almost braught me to tears. -
i cannot see the train of thought of people who can go on fooling other people who are in love with them..isn't it a waste of time? It is torture, but here, you made it sound like a need that can never be satiated by anything other than this person, even though you're well aware that all this person can tell you are lies.
Keep writing
Kannika -
I can just relate to this poem....
Its very bad when the person you love does not reciprocate your feelings...but I guess that is how life goes....
When you know that she is lying when she tells you that she loves you,then dont you think you should try to forget her?I know its difficult in the beginning but the point is:WHY ARE YOU WITH A PERSON WHO DOESN'T LOVE YOU?
Nice write...short but full of meaning.... -
beautiful--filled to the brim with emotion and raw pain. loved it loved it loved it.
brings hard emotions to the surface--asks questions which all of us ask. allows a small glimpse into the complex clockwork of human nature..some of its dirty laundry
enjoyed it immensely! thanks
~R -
very well written
Amazing how torn you can become when you want to go one way but know you should go another, some times if its just for the moment and you know its not real, well we lie to our selves just to have the touch of another... very well written i like it alot. -
Wow! I am stunned by this piece. It is so good! I have known men like this, and a few women too. If you are this unhappy with her, then you really should get her out of your life.
I will say this, it would seem that a lot of artists run into people like this, and can't seem to let them go. I think it is the artisit in us, that wants to "re-make" the portrait, to our ideal. Sadly we cannot, and that just hurts us all the more. Our love for beauty in all forms can keep us trapped, even where beauty doesn't really exist. The thought of losing that, even if it it isn't real... Well I think you get my meaning.
I am so sad for you, and hurt for you, to think of you suffering this way. I do hope you can find someone who completes you, and compliments you, rather than some one who is like an empty reflection of you.
Good luck, and keep writing. I fine this helps sort it all out! -
This is a good poem. I like the overall messege in it. Great write! Keep up the good work and have a great day! Love and peace!
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We all want to fell loved, and this is an excellent poem that speaks directly to this feeling. Keep it going!
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I think that this would flow better if you omitted some of the periods...
I see what you're feeling, I agree with GothicChic, get rid of her. No one deserves the pain.
Elizabeth -
great write, get rid of her...
chels -
I can't speak. You done an amazing job on writing this piece. Wow. It is really beautiful and heart felt. Keep up the excellent writing, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
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Wow.. i'm speechless.. I really like this..
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This poem spoke to me so well great job it is very sad but you put it so well in to words. Great Job.
Lindsey
Edited on Jan 14, 6:49 p.m. because ''. -
To be honest...this is the first poem that I've read that speaks so true. It feels like I read something from a bestselling novel that touched my heart. I can relate in the girls position. And that's not something to feel flattered about. But I changed for the better of course. Anyway, I really really enjoyed this poem. I felt so...sad. You have a wonderful talent. Great poem.
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I don't think i've ever read a poem this short that had this much emotion. i didn't think it could be done.
A fallen one burrowed, nestled in my arms, my rigid embrace.
Her tainted lips press so softly against my neck, kissing gently
bravo -
Powerful
Extremely powerful, and close to home for many. Reaching out for the one person we want to love us, even though, in our hearts, we know they never will. Brilliantly done. I shall have to see more.. -
I think that you did a really good job on this piece. Keep up the good work!
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This is beautiful and filled with the feeling of being torn. I've been torn before and I absolutely hate the feeling. It's such torture. Excellent write!
~Ss -
Awesome Awesome. I like this poem. so short.. and describes a lot. Love it. Good work!
Much love,
-Syk -
one thing i know is women are evil. Lifetime TV makes us out to be poor lost victims, but.. nooo thats not the case.. its propaganda... this was really great. it was so unfortunate. It reminds me of my husband's first girlfriend.. she was such a horrible person, and she fit this description to a T. keep writing.
Kat -
Beautiful
This piece hit pretty close to home. This is one of the most heartfelt pieces I've read EVER. -
Amazingly writen.
Great job... -
In a perfect world love and lust go hand in hand. Or at least they should. I agree with Wispering Wolf you really should expand this maybe tell what there is about her that makes you loose the ability to think rational thoughts. Is it the way she moves the look in her eye. There seems to be more that is waiting to be shared with the rest of us, it may also prove to be theraputic for your soul.
You have done an excellent job with what you have so far adding to it can only fuel the fire! -
10/10
beautiful...sad...but extreamly powerful
Good Job!
~rae~ -
Hey sweetie,
I thought it was very cute and sweet. I thought you did well in few words...
With love
Chrissy -
This was amazing. Truly amazing. Isn't it funny how when someone tells us something, we believe 'cause we want to believe it? I experienced that more than a few times. I'm too trusting, and most people can't be trusted. Maybe that's a bad attitude to have, but I've developed it as a result of previous experiences. Anyways, good write. Keep it up!
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love it!
that was an awesome poem. i love it!!!! write more!! -
I like the way you wrote this. It bwas very intriging. Sad, bettersweet and a little wistful. I enjoyed it very much.
Anna -
Wow! This is beautiful! The thing that got to me the most was the emotion. You had me feeling all that you felt. it was so realistic because I could relate so easily. The imagery was awesome too. This stirred something very deep in me......amazing job and well worth the read! Thanks for sharing!
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Woot i like it!
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this was very short, but very pwerful.
congrats on a truly great job. -
Magnifico
I really like this. It just touched me. Keep writting. -
Beautiful
I just had to stop after I read your poem. I understand too well what you're saying... Sometimes it seems so impossible to find somebody who truly loves you. I've never found it myself, but too many times I've found lust. It makes me sick and now I'm so jaded I don't believe in love anymore. Excellent poem and I can tell it comes from your heart! Keep on writing. -
greatness
thats like awesome, i really like it good job
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this is so sad! i love it! it's wonderful that you can find words for emotions that people feel so often but never admit
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to me, this is a great start but it can go alot further. you have the makings of one kickin poem here...add to it...give it depth and passion. well done
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like
i like this -
Sometimes we are so vulnerable and when someone comes along that tells us what we want to hear, or need to hear at the moment, we become extremely susceptible. You have depicted that very well here within your words.
♥ Kimberly -
Curious. I thought I saw two of these. I thought it was an edit... never mind. Still like it. Short, succinct, sweet, breath taking till the end. Reader response, yes. Yet, it's at an emotional level. Kudos!
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this is an awesome poem keep it up
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I'm sorry I clicked on this twice by accident. Sorry about that. I will feature it for you again.
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Beautiful
Nicely done. The truth of all tainted love.
I would like to read more like this one here. Keep up the good work.It is always a pleasure reading about truth, no matter how candy coated it is. -Amanda -
Very good
I know about this all too well -
Great poem. I know how you feel about that.
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nice job short and sweet and too the point i really enjoyed reading it all the descriptive words just really made the emotion stand up and slap you in the face kinda so you feel it i like it nice job
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Awesome
You did a very nice job. The format fits nothing I've ever seen.The wording makes the reader think and visualize the identity of the person in their own life, that this best describes.It was extremely creative.I feel you deserve a lot of praise for this one.Very nice piece.Keep it up. -
great read
Really love this work. You captured a lot of things in that poem sadness love and so much more. Great work -
Dont let go! whoever this was wrote for is special to you obviously, so start and believe
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Ouch, sounds like one person isn't really committed (or is afraid) of the relationship. You did a wonderful job on this, it flowed from one line to the next, easy to read. Very sad though.
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exallant great bit of writting
I loved this one deep and to the point filled with lots of emotion. -
must-read!
That really twisted that thing they call a heart in me.
Brilliant quillwork, smooth flow and I love the subtlety, the want, the need, the desire so raw and unyielding. Kudos and pen on, gcnjsmith.
This is truly a bookmark-worthy piece -
A beautiful work describing the comfortable illusion so many cling to! I love it.
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aww great job! you did a great job of makeing me feel the same way as you. great job! wonderful write!
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Yea, I know that road. It always ends up the same way. It really tears at you when you need to believe the lies cause you are so in love you can't understand how she/he can't be too. Very well written. I like the short simple ones that speak so much. Good write. Thanks for sharing
God Bless
Tammy -
This made me feel like I was in your shoes, I'm sure most of us were, but you know what I mean. Sometimes love must be let her before we can truely understand what eh have, eh? Anyway great job and please keep it up you seem good.
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Absolutely perfectly worded and written. There's just soemthign about this piece that I adore. In some way, I feel like it describes me....
All the best!
Mandy -
That was amazing, im gob smacked!!
YOu really captured romance so well, id have to say that you seem to have a keeper, so no, dont let go.
brilliant piece, very descriptive.
keep up the good work.
love Sophie.xx -
Excellent! Romantic and sad! Good work!
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NEVER LET GO
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very good poem. very deep.
WOW! I know what you are talking about. No, I never told someone I love them (until I ment the love of my life, lukasz), but I did (in the pass) mess with peoples minds a lot. I never thought that I could be hurting that person. But now I know I shoulgn't have done those things to them. But it took me years until I learned this. Great poem. Sorry I wrote so much, but your poem hit me. Very nice good on it.
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Well Done!
I like the twist in this word play. I also like the lengthof this poem. It's hard sometimes to know where to stop and others much longer and they'd be overdone. This however is wonderful as is. Well Done
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Very deep and emotional. I'm amazed sometimes at the experiences we experience, thinking they are unique, that are actually shared by so many others.
You did a great job with this write. Everything just seemed to blend into a wonderful read.
~~~POO~~~ -
i do like this poem because it does make others think about their own love and their own life. i also reflect on things i said and did to others that i should regret but dont and do at the same time, poems that make people reflect are really touching and very good reads.
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How does this poem NOT have any applauses yet? We'll have to fix that. It's amazing at the irony of the times when I'm reading this. It's so beautifully written, too. Your last line seems so human it's amazing. Beautiful write!
XoMysticFaithoX -
Crap man, thats really deep, seriously personal.
I really liked this piece because of the words you chose in particular places.
Fav line's gotta be "whispers lies of love" cuz its just so damn true.
I hate fake girls... (most of em are anyways)
Great poem all in all... -
This is such a sensual piece, so true for a lot of people, I have been there, where I be in a relationship and find that there is no love, just lies, just I long to believe the lies that are told to me because in the end, it seems so much better than being alone. Great Job ... and yes, I was drunk early this morning
... I'm horrible 
... keep writing! 
... ---Sara
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aww ur a really sweet guy lol !!!!!!!! ... omg i LOVED it so bad lol ....and frigg i LOVE LOVE the pic of the bear andu hahha
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This is beautifully written. Very romantic
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Hmm....
Hm...dark girl here. Saying you should let her go but she doesn't seem to care nor want it is interesting...almost like the writer knows that she is using him, but he just can't seem to do as he thinks he ought to here. Wonderful thought. Such emotions burn in this gal's eyes...makes me wonder who exactly it is! When you mentioned "fallen one" I automatically thought of a fallen angel or something...Like Gabriel to be more precise. The writer's need to believe the lies is amazing. It's quite a strong thought here. I have never had to deal with something like this, but it sort of makes me want to cry that there is such a thing as this out there...it's a good thing you're a really silly person in real life!
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Wow, this is a really romantic poem which I liked a lot. Keep writing because this was deep and excellently written.
All the best,
Pozo
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This kind of reminds me of Hemmingway's "A Farewell to Arms," though the gender roles are switched. There's a conversation in there where Catherine says
"Do you love me?"
"Yes."
"You're lying."
"Yes."
"But I don't care, keep lying. You really do love me, don't you?"
"Yes."
By the end of that book, though, they did love each other, but who knows which way it will go for you. Confusion usually yields good poems, like this one. -
this is great especially from a guy writing it nice job i really loved this and all i can tell you is follow your heart it may not always be the best answer but it will definitly lead you the right way
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