By a crystal Lake,
Like a becalmed boat on sandy shores,
I sit, silenced.
Just a mere observer,
As life unfolds,
Like a well-written play,
Veterans and novices,
-All competing for appraisal
I watch,
Bemused, yet vibrating
With sudden realization,
Of the absolute truth
While the sun,
Religiously as ever,
Worships the earth…
Author notes
Written January 5th, 2005
A contest entry
- Hope in the world by Queen Lava.
455 points, ended September 12, 2006, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
This is such a beautiful poem.
And it is a talented poet that can write such a beautiful poem in such few words. Keep up the awesome poetry!!! Thank you for entering my contest.
-
Short and well written! I love it when people can write great work in such few sentences. Keep up the great work and im very happy you entered! Thanks! ~Mel~
-
This is absolutely beautiful babe!!!!!!! I never asked you for your name... so I dont really know what to call you!!!!!!! I love your work though... or at least the one that you have!!!!!!! Rock on!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Your AP girl,
Meg
-
This was really good... why have you hardly written any other poems? I mean it WAS. REALLY. GOOD!
Snugbot x -
Great use of visual sense! Well done!
-
Good poem! I got a good visual and there is a good flow with this poem too. thanks for entering.
-
v. good
Now this is a very surreal poem and rather clever at that.
I like the reversal of roles in these lines:
"While the sun,
Religiously as ever,
Worships the earth…"
It begs a lie to "sun worshippers" - I like that.
Also, I like the way the subject of the poem is an "observer" not a participant - another clever twist.
The flow of this poem is good and all in all I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
-
good luck in the contest
best wishes as always
Star Of The Night
-
Such a peaceful poem Sax God, thanx for entering this and good luck in the contest
best wishes as always
-Cool Oasis-
-
This is a wonderfully written poem. Keep up the awesome work!
-
hey thanks for the aplause for my poem. see my page,please. thanks again.
-
This is a beautifully written piece, the metaphores and personification are really effective, and i could see the whole thing take place in my mind, beautiful I like the stanzas
"As life unfolds,
Like a well-written play," they are skillfully written. Keep the ink flowing hun, and thank you for entering my contest 
xxx
-dragonfly-
-
nice touch! I love how simply put it is!
-
This was amazing. Your use of words was very good. Thanks for entering and good luck!
-
This was really good.. I liked it a lot.. well done..
-
I really like this... very visual observations and the poem isn't overstuffed. I get the feeling its like taking a long hard look around you and then having this profound realization of what is really important.
Enjoyed this, very well done. Good luck in the contest.
~ Wendy
-
YAY you wrote a poem hehe, great job. I really liked this!!
-
wow, well, this is awesome, you did wonderful with this scion, you should write more..... just keep em' coming kay? I LOVE YOU! ~*~Tippers~*~
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
8 old applause
