Beyond words
It haunts my dreams
Every step
Ever breath
Every beat of my empty heart
Pain seduces me
Tears flood
My every emotion
Flows through my soul
Darkness invades
I'm surrounded by you
Nothing will ever be the same
Conscious comes forth
And tells all
The horrible things I have become
Author notes
Short, and I think it's a little confusing...I DON'T KNOW! Work has my mind all boggled and after a hard day, I got asked how I was doing, and all this popped into my head...oh well, as long as it got wrote down I guess! lol...
Written January 4th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Not sure, but what I read is a poem about your conscience and how it keeps reminding you of the wrong you've done. Maybe listen to it and stop doing bad things.
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I don't think this is confusing at all. I really like how well you expressed yourself. This is one of you best.-JD
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Jemmy this poem is beautiful... I truly mean that. You've got a special way with words. Never stop writing. Love ya, *Sonya*
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That'd be nice...next time I see you on I'll message ya on here...
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Okay hun! Try not to let it get you down, rise above
If you'd like, maybe we can chit chat on MSN or AIM next time you're around. -
I'd really like some suggestions...just let me know...but I do have to head, so I will get them a lil later...back to work I go...I hate stores open 24 hrs...lol...love ya
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I'm sorry that you've had such a rough day. Thankfully, tough times don't last, but tough people do
I really liked the first half. It read smoothly, quick-paced, expressively. I think some tweaking could be done with the wording in the second half - let me know if you'd like some suggestions with that. Don't change too much though and don't delete it! The emotions and feelings are well expressed. Everyone has such days, and it's good to hear that others can relate.
This didn't seem confusing to me at all. It seemed clear and poignant.
One little thing, I think that it's usually best to possition poems to the right.
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