She was at the New Year's Eve party
he was glued to her sleeve
At two hours past midnight
they decided to leave.
He was a dashing young man
as suave as can be
but our beautiful IceQueen
she just couldn't see.
She thought she had met
the man of her dreams
but he took advantage of her
in the most horrible extremes
He was dressed to perfection
He walked with a gait
no one would have guessed
that he was a horrible date.
He was cunning and wise
a real shifty young cad
my instincts had warned me
that something was bad.
I watched her that night
as they danced on the floor
I could tell by his eyes
he wanted much more.
They were both holding hands
they were joined at the hips
and in a dimly lit corridor
they were seen locking lips.
I saw more than an eye full
from where I was standing
He seemed very strange
and somewhat demanding.
He took her for a joy ride
she grudgingly confessed
he tore at her clothes
and ravaged her breast.
Now she runs down the street
indecently exposed
her shoe heels are broken
with torn pantyhose.
She's running real fast
now which way to go?
with each mad dash she makes
she can't stop to blow.
Her dress is torn badly
she's catching her breath
And her maniac date
is chasing her with a net.
Now poor Raven is wishing
she went home instead
he seemed really trusting
but she now feels misled.
She partied that night
with this gorgeous young man
but he had other motives
he had an alternative plan.
He seduced our young raven
and stole all her cash
she never saw it coming
while they danced at the bash.
There was an emergency meeting
we will hunt down this cad
and give him a beating
like he's never before had.
We will teach him a lesson
he won't likely forget
we will make him a victim
of his own fishing net.
Because wenches united
are bad to the bone
we will rescue our Raven
and bring her back home.
Now Raven's back home
to judge the New Year's Eve winner
and after the judging
she'll wash up for dinner.
Though she didn't elope
and her lesson came late
never trust a dashing young cad
who walks with a gait.
Author notes
I commented on Astralshepherd *I Wasn't There*
*Happy New Years Queenie* by Nicolisis
*The Disappearance Of EternalIceQueen* by Lyrical Soul
Written January 3rd, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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excellent
very nice, and I love the back ground
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Great poem I just loved it but I just could'nt make out whether it was supposed to be humourous or serious.you mixed them both so nicely that it was a very enjoyable read.Congratulations on winning bronze.
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!!!!!!!!!!! Av you really found your calling when you came here. I truely believe you were born to write. This imagination of yours is crazy and makes for fun lighthearted reads. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful write and yes if this ever happened to a wench we would unite to torture and rob such an animal.
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I just love these party writes!
I applaud this, you rock!
-Timothy
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Diamond,this was a festive New Years party filled with fantasy, fun and fury. I loved the creativity you displayed by coming up with such a brilliantly funny story. The images were very colorful and fluid. There was so much going on and our own EternalIceQueen was right at the center of it all.lol Thank god it was only a fantasy. I hope any of the guy's viewing this piece will be wise enough to know not to mess with the "wenches united" lol! Great Job Avril! Congratulations on winning the silver!
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Thanks again Meesa P and my sincere congratulations to you also and I knew that you didn't have one too many at the birthday pary. Avril
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Poor Raven, now we really do have to send out a search party and find this guy and give him a taste of his own medicine. I bet he was that Balloon guy I tried to beat up at her Birthday party and everyone thought I was crazy
Thought I had one too many too drink. Now they know the whole truth! lol! Wenches united; if I was this guy I'd run for my life! Congratulations on the Silver!
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i must say this is one of your best story poems.it was too funny.i laughed til i cried.it flows so well and the rhymes are terrific.eiq got herself in a real fix didn't she.this is so nice.i'm really loving this.
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I love this poem! It's so funny and you are really good with the ryhme.
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This is so perfect..lol I love how it rhymes perfectly and it just rolls along smoothly...
great job
SB -
Thank you my dear Wattle, I am so happy you've enjoyed my poem Wattle. Handsome or not, the sisters could use a guy like you Lol. Thanks again and stay as sweet and as "handsome" as you are. Avril
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A size 11 boot to his rump Lol, now that sounds really painful. I bet he would straighten up and fly right after that. The wenches are a great bunch of girls, we rescued you and brought you back home in just in time for dinner and to judge the New Year's Eve contest. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, it was all for fun. Thanks for being such a good sport.
Many Blessings to you,
Avril (Big Sister)
Edited on Jan 04, 4:57 p.m. because ''. -
Oh no, lol... did I really get taken for a ride with this guy?
Poor me, I've really got to start using my better judgement with my dates!
This was quite funny. I think I would hate to really be in this position though, lol!
With ravaged breast and torn dress I would've had to deliver a size 11 boot print to his rump cheek for running off with my cash and luring me away from my beloved wenches. 
I would feel myself inclined to kick him in the groin (and he would've been glad that I had at least a little mercy on him for him not swiping my food too, lol.) I adore this write. And the background is lovely! Very festive.
All these entries have given me enough laughs to last throughout the year, lol!
Wishing you the best of luck in the contest...
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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This is great I really enjoyed it. You did a wonderful job and the rhyme scheme is awesome. Great work. I think that cad is in for a real bad time.
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Wonderful Avril, let's go out and find that cad and string him up! very wonderfully written my dear friend, it is so hilarious Love~Joan
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Ms Diamond, another gem from the mind of an experienced operator. I'm lucky I'm not handsome; - it keeps me safe from the 'sisters'. - Great write clever poet lady, with the dashing smile. - Thank you.
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This is so funny!!!!!
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LOL, this is great...what a lesson to be learned. Great job on this.
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I laughed so hard and loud that my kids came in to check on me. This is great Sweetie! I love it. You guys are cracking me up and you are s-o-o-o right... wenches united are bad to the bone and whoever crosses us might as well lay down and yield! Great job!
~Kimberly
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lol how cute! so clever you are avril with the stunning rhyme and funny charm here and there this poem has your signature on it everywhere! i was smiling the entire time, thanks for the lol
and another superb poem from my favorite diamond
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Hahahaha Boy will she just love this. I am laughing so out loud that my son came in here to see what was going on.n This is clever and witty and soooooo much fun!
Miss fast butt Raven knew better than to go off with this cad, We do have to find him and beat him down bad,
But before we do we must make sure
He isn'f frozen somewhere right outside the door!
LMBO This is great. Thanks for the entry. The best of luck in finding Raven.
Much Love,
Renee
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Where is he i will hunt him down myself I hope this was just a poem and not real. I have noticed she hasnt been around lately. Great poem Good luck in the contest
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i really enjoyed this, i am not much of a party person and so i am happy to see another side to the New Year's bash...it certainly explains Raven's disappearance tho, dosnt it?
Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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