Mommy, Mommy,
look what I can do.
Look at my body, watch the blood come out.
They're all over mommy.
Spin me around mommy!
What's wrong mommy?
why are you looking at me like that?
Mommy, Mommy!
Why are you crying?
are you sad, sad about my blood?
But why? It's such a beautiful thing
Everyone has it.
Why can't I show mine?
Mommy, Mommy.
why are you sending me away?
Don't you love me anymore?
I'm still me, I'm still you're daughter.
Why look at me, like I am somebody different?
Mommy, Mommy.
Please don't cry anymore,
please stop mommy.
Mommy, Mommy.
I'm going to go now.
you don't have to cry about me anymore.
Just don't forget about me.
Mommy, Mommy,
I committed suicide.
no more bleeding.
no more crying.
Bye-bye Mommy.
Author notes
I got bored in biology... *shruges* I thought bout \
Written January 3rd, 2005
A contest entry
- Self-Mutilation by 5th position Gb.
300 points, ended September 9, 2005, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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i got caught by my school. my parents never noticed until the school called and told them. Ever since then, both of them just look at me differently, like i'm just some kind of crazy person. It's weird how everything can change with one cut, with one slice.. your whole world changes from that moment you start. and you'll always know that it will never be the same. you know what I mean? anyways, thanks for the comment. =) take care
--SpiT-- -
I liked the rhythem of the poem, i know the disapionted looks parents give you when they catch you, i've been caught several times by my parents and always managed to push it as if it was something i only did a few time and in the past, the power of denial is my friend, but anyways-Good Write keep the words flowing-Roan
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im glad you think so. It's one of my favorite poems that I wrote... Take care and thanks for the comment. =)
--SpiT-- -
I acutely wrote this for an english assignment in my creative writing class... for the poetry slam thing. I knew it was a perfect.. but, anyways... Thanks. take care. =)
--SpiT-- -
wow thats great.
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wow! and thats all i need to say...
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feelings are sometimes lik ethat though. Nobody as happy thoughts and feelings all the time. and thanks =) take care.
--SpiT-- -
Sometimes it's how I feel how my mom looks at me sometimes. Ever since the school told my parents about what I did when the door was closed, both of them just acted different, and weird around me, and they give me different looks, it's like I'm not even their daughter anymore. thanks for the comment. =) take care.
--SpiT-- -
That was interesting. It had this odd sort of feeling of innocence. Like the person had no idea what they were doing. Nice job.
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O MY GOODNESS THAT IS HORRIBLE!!!! paardon i meant the story its so messed up its well written but so cold and well dark too gory for my taste good luck in the conest though
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Yeah.. I just kept on thinking about my mom, and how much i disapoint her.. I can see it in her eyes. You really think it's on a higher level than yours? aww! that's so nice, thank you ^_^ Yes.. bio is a good source for writing things like this.. Hehe. catch ya later. Love ya and thanks for the comment.
--SpiT-- -
oh my... i loved it, kind of shows the inner child or something... its really really nice... i've written things like this but never at the level you have written. Simply lovely my dear. lol Bio is a good source for writings like these...
much love
God Bless
Amber -
Oh, you know you love it... right? O.o heh.... lol
--spit-- -
Hey.. what can i say? I think it's my best one. I haven't had ones this good for a long time. *pets you* my pretty one Lol
--SpiT-- -
Whoa..
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Dark. Twisted. Sick. Demented.
I love it.
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yeah, I was also thinking back to how I wanted my mom's attention when I was a kid. and I still call her mommy. I acutely felt like saying mommy mommy out load as i was writing this, and kinda say the poem. and i'm sure that i woulda been since to the office for that. O.o stupid people. >< but anyways, thanks for you're comment. take care.
--SpiT-- -
well, don't feel MY pain. I wouldn't like that. Lol. and thanks I like to get my emotions on paper instead of myself. it's safer. Lol Take care.
--SpiT-- -
thanks.. all of my write is what I feel. and It helps me alot to control my habit. Take care and thanks for the comment.
--SpiT-- -
Wow, it was very different how you made it from a younger kid's perspective, very nicely done! The repition of words made it more effective and gave it a greater impact. I really liked this alot! keep onn writing!
*jerrie* -
I love the emotion, I can almost feel your pain.
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i thought this was good, i liked the way you wrote it and expressed the emotion through it. nice write. -obaybegrlx-
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