Open Heart Surgery

So that's it.
I need to bandage my heart,
take it out of my chest
and wrap it over and over so that
it doesn't bleed all over my clothes.

Sitting in this parking lot,so late at
night,I imagine that you are
sitting right next to me.
Nothing ever changed between us.
Rewind.please.
You wipe off my wet cheeks,and instead of
screaming at this miserable hour,
I'm laughing at something you just said.

But imagination is one thing.
Reality is another.
I can't sleep without him.
I can't sleep without you.

Tears soak my pillow as I clutch
on to what you've handed back
to me

Well here I am,bandaging
my bleeding heart,
Over and over
it won't stop
And I fear I'm growing cold,
Dying inside
Half the time I want to
And the other half I want to
throw it at you,scream at you
With my whole body
Scream that I hate what you've done to me
I hate that I'm no longer in control of these
breakdowns
hate that after all this
things don't change,
hate that you still don't call,
hate that you still don't seem to care,
hate that everything reminds me of you
but thats the way the world works
Cruelly
and at this hour
I give up.