As a little girl I dreamed,
about a castle in the sky,
that sat upon a soft cloud,
with little angels flying by.
My young mind wandered,
up to the sky so blue,
I heard the angels singing,
of love that was so true.
There was a lovely princess,
she lived upon the cloud,
alone without her true love,
their love was not allowed.
He was a handsome soldier,
fighting in a foreign war,
gone across the vast ocean,
she would not see him anymore.
She would cry her eyes out,
looking out upon the sea,
as she cried she would say,
please love hurry back to me.
One day the angels sang,
a very sad love song,
her love was coming home,
back where he belonged.
Her love died in a battle,
so far away from home,
his spirit went to heaven,
no more his soul would roam.
Once more angels sang of love,
her true love was by her side,
together for all eternity,
the soldier and princess bride.
Now as I look upon the cloud,
I can hear the angels sing,
the sun reflects the diamonds,
on her golden wedding ring.
Author notes
Bippoty Noppity Boo
Written January 2nd, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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this was sad in some parts, but it was such a beautiful poem! I loved reading this! It made me think of that song "Castle on a cloud" and also of a fairy tale, because that is what this is like, a fairy tale, without a fairy of corse. I liked this so much!
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Oh, that is so romatic. This has to be my favorite poem you have wrote yet!
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Thank you for the lovely comment. I appreciate it. Take care, Sandy
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This is beautiful, sandygram. Such a touching bittersweet lovestory. All ends well, though, as they are together for eternity
Good luck in the contest and thank you for entering
Dee
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A lovely love story
A very lovely, sweet and gentle poem fringed with sadness, but so filled with love and hope. I think you and Ann (Haran) are two of the poets that I know of on AP that has a wonderful skill to write story poems and this one is no exception. It has a singing quality about it and it shines a light on the power of the human spirit to pick it self up and love again - even in times of war. Very lovely poem indeed! Good luck in the contest.
~ Nicolette
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Thank you so much Tamara for the wonderful comment. You made me feel so good. I liked this one I wrote. It is one of my favorites. Take care and may God always bless you and bless all our troops. Take care, Sandy
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Thank you so much Vicky, I appreciate your comment. I am glad it brought a smile to your day. That's enough to make me smile too. Take care, Sandy
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KUDOS
you tell a great love story for the many that leave behind a family member in the current battle of war...
I wish you could send this to someone overseas just to let them know how much it does affect those left behind at home....
Maybe a newspaper article would pick this up and publish it for families of the war, such a shame it need to be printed,
yet such a beautiful sentiment
Tamara
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awwww. that was so sad, it was very touching. btw thanx for reading my story and commenting it really brightened my day.
Vickky^_^ -
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment. It is so appreciated. Take care, Sandy
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Thank tyou so much Melanie. I always love hearing from you and your comments Take care, Sandy
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Thank you for the lovely comment. It is always appreciated, Take care, Sandy
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Thank you so much, I am so glad you enjoyed it. I miss that kind of love too. Take care, Sandy
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. It is most appreciated. Take care, Sandy
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Thank you so much Bill for the nice comment. I always appreciate it. Take care, Sandy
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Well some people like tea and spme like coffee. I write for my own pleasure. Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and leave a comment. I thank you for asvice, I always appreciate it. Take care, Sandy
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This is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I don't know what to say about this really. The flow was perfect, imagery and feeling wonderfully expressed. Thanks for sharing
~~Jessica Erin
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Superb
Very beautiful written.
I love this very much you have done an awesome job.
Keep up the great write,and hope to read more of your fine work.
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you have me seeing visions of sad stories running through my mind!
this is such a sad love story!
But in all very well done my friend!
I did enjoy this!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
Edited on Jan 03, 8:07 p.m. because ''. -
OK poem for kids and teen girls
A touching little piece, but, as an adult male, I can't exactly say that it would be my cup of tea. The meter is inconsistent, and what is rhyme without meter? The piece, if published, would be by a publication like Jack & Jill or something, I would think... not exactly suitable for Popular Mechanics, if you get my drift. So, overall, I would say, "Nice effort."
Oh, one last thing... even Jack & Jill would appreciate quote marks around:
as she cried she would say,
"Please love hurry back to me!"
(I changed it to an exclamation as well... you get a little more insistence and urgency from the poem that way!)
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This was different. I really enjoyed it though! Wonderful job. I did see an error though.
He was a handsome soldier,
fighting in an foreign war,
I think me a not an. Maybe not, but it would make more sense!
Nice job! Keep up the wonderful work!
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wow...my breath is taken away..this is so sweet and romantic...I miss feeling love that strongly..I envy you
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it's the kind of poem you read to your children...Ah takes me back to the old days...great write.
Keep writing
Kannika -
The first thing I though of was the song "Castle on a Cloud" from the musical "Les Miserables"! lol. However, the end of this made me BAWL MY BABY BLUES OUT. Ugh, I'm such a sap. Great job though, the rhyming made it almost like a lullabye. Good job.
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Well done! And wonderfully creative! You kept a smooth flow through out. Even in it's sadnees there was a happy ending. True fairytale style....
~Michelle~
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Your words are singy-songy and depict a fascinatingly whimsical and fantastical imagery. Then the mood shifts into a more somber ones as the puffy, bubbly images turn solemn and melancholy. Good job with this one; it combines a fantasy realm with a hint of the sad but realistic truth. Pen on.
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A lovely fairytale! I really thought this was going a different way, so it was a surprise to me when they were finally together in heaven. Sad, but comforting, for want of a better description.
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Well... I don't like rhyme in general... but I must commend you for the rhythmic pattern and not faultering from it. I think that's why I shy away from reading it most of the time. Most stuff doesn't have or follow a pattern. But, yours does, well done! I like the subject as well. It's a cute little story and you did a good job with it.
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i very much enjoyed reading this peice, i though it had good rhymes that did not seem forced at all, i look forward to reading more of your work
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Oh my Sandy... Now this was great... I had tears running down my face the entire time I read... Loved it..
Take Care,
Melanie
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Thank you so much Steff for the nice comment. I have no idea how I thought of this. Take care, Love, Sandy
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oh gosh sandy, this was so so so so so so good! i love your poetry so much. You've really shown your talent in this piece. Love ya much sandy thanks for everything.
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