Its a new year and i know
how it all comes and it will pass
some change is what I'm looking for
in the way my life is thrown
As the problems are tried to be caused
it's amazing it doesn't bother me
my anger level is so high on rising
that its the pain in others own demise
In the anguished face i find comfort
seeing the calm drift of freedom
thinking the bruises will solve it
but running as i can to flee
leaving what i wish was nothing behind
to only find nothing in front of me
the power of physical pain inflicted
only causes a pleasure unknown to my victims
Still before me lies nothing thereafter
I still mistake it for more than something
but the next time i find peace
i feel more fulfilled then the last
so next time you wander on my path
In wonder of the painful pleasure i find
remember in the life lived my most
i am not alone in suffering
but received or presented it
just to find my own peace
Author notes
i got a weird request from a friend of mine to write something strange. this poem if a poem at all is very odd and doesnt make much sense.. i really dont think its any good at the moment.. but whatever its something after months..
Written January 1st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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title suggestion... to find my own peace?
thy words rise within that emotion where limits have been tested...
to what end?
the answer to that is yet to come.
but i sense that some peace needs to be found.
You have me thingking my friend!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill -
Interesting write. I enjoyed it, but the beat wasn't really mine. The whole poem is really realistic and I like the part:
"the power of physical pain inflicted
only causes a pleasure unknown to my victims"
great work, and have fun on allpoetry!
Rabid
ps: if you get a chance, check out my poem, She Reaps. -
good
Thoughtful, real, just needs a little tweeking. -
This was beautiful darlin
I loved it impactful and suck, for a title I personaly would use something like
" painted nothingness"
of "flee"
or" razorblade sorrow"
or"captured".."lost in thought"
I dont know
but powerful write hun, wonderfuly done
always
~ vini ~ -
gr8 poem hun. luv it. keep up the good work.
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thumbs sideways
Title options (IMHO):
seeking peace
more fulfilled
come(s) and go(es)
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hmm?
yes... parvo is majorly a pain in the ass. the first day i started there were 2 dogs with it.. smelly and sick.. its sad to see what it comes down to if they dont survive.. -
use bleach.
Yeah, and having to sanitize for parvo is a pain in the ass. -
Punctuation might help but i like this.
/Still before me lies nothing thereafter
I still mistake it for more than something
but the next time i find peace
i feel more fulfilled then the last/
I love that bit there. -
Nice Poem! 5 out of 5!
Wow, this is impressive, you can really get the feeling in it. It kinda struck me, the only other thing I can say is it may be able to use a little more punctuation and caps, but thats about all, good job! -
(i am not alone in suffering
but received or presented it
just to find my own peace)
That line is direct, to the point, and very, very beautiful in it's own way. It hit home somewhere in me and made me stop ,reread, think, reread, ponder, sigh, and comment. I loved this poem, though it could do with some capitolization, as Anathematized said, though, don't listen to me. I'm not big on proper punctuation and capitolization myself.
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Definenly made an impact on me. I feel there could be punctuation in here... and maybe some more Capitalization but for the most part I was blown away by your direct-ness.
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