Tear stained crumpled crimson velvet
satin black rain stained pumps to match
Wardrobe of a tainted romance
shattered heart, accessory to accompany
Low the heart that swooned too soon
wearing crimson velvet ready to love
Mr. Right awaits, the devil in disguise
dripping candle flaming romance
Pearly smile, undertow swell of lies
let me love you, forever you will be mine
Faint mind ruled by a foolish heart
instantaneous love the margarita mix
Pass the salt, savor the sweat
inebriated desire stains the lips
Sweet intoxication, foggy senses
two hundred dollars later all in a nights work
(c)2004
~Nikki~
Author notes
Since some it seems are going the prostitution route of thinking let me clarify here, YES this does imply that thought but does not outright say it. Henceforth, this piece is all how you the reader interpret it.
1. Someone paid cash for love...ie Prostitution
2. Someone spent an awful amount of money to get drunk and
cough...ahem...laid.
3. Someone robbed someone after they made love
...now see there are some other examples just as I know there are more. It is all how you; the reader, choose to interpret!
Written January 1st, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Strike a Chord by jantastic.
500 points, ended January 3, 2005, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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The imagery in this is awesome. This write can def. be taken in many different ways but for those of us with our minds in the cutter
see the prostituion image. Thanks for entering.
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I expect it's the mention of "a night's work" that leads people to the prositution imagery. Not what I got on first read, but my mind does tend to look a little deeper sometimes. And really prostitution need not only be profession...
Wonderful imagery in this. And the sex in it is subtly covered by a writhing blanket.
Thanks so much for entering.
~Jan -
now this is amazing again.... everything you write is so passionate....
the last stanza was perfection
billy -
Awww... i really liked this one. I think that many can somewhat relate to this... Not that i'm implying everyone's a prostitute... =/ But that someone's been tricked or used for 'Love', that "undertow swell of lies"... I seen this as someone who was so willing to be loved by anyone that 'she' was just played with in the end... From the other point of view, she was willing to 'love' anyone she may as well have prostituted herself... Either way, it's beautifully tragic. Thanks for leaving it open for us to ponder over ^_^ Well done, Nikki.
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A hard hitting poem that I like very much, the ending had a nice twist, I liked the flow,all in all a very good poem, congratulations, have a very happy new new and may it bring you sunshine every day.
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It looks nice like warm summer showers on the innocent cheek, feels nice like hot tears releasing profound healing, smells wonderful at many depths, sounds powerful as it whispers its poetry, tastes like a bonfire at midnight, and pleases the intellect to make God its desires...but sometimes the good is the enemy of the best and instincts misused have toppled the greatest of empires. Peace Through Love. ET
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Awww but there is the enigma to this piece! It implies prostitution yes but does not outright say it, so it is all up to the reader on how it is interpreted! Thank you for giving this one a read!
~Nikki~ -
I don't like the pretense of the poem, with the prostitution, but it's very very well written, so good job!
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Interesting write. I like how it sounds almost slurred- as if it itself is drunk. Little correction- "Low the heart that swooned toO soon". Otherwise, very nice write. have a very happy new year!
~Sam
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WOOOOOOOOOOO i like this line out of the whole poem
Tear stained crumpled crimson velvet
satin black rain stained pumps to match
Wardrobe of a tainted romance
shattered heart, accessory to accompany -
That had amazing word choices. It seemed to jump from line to line a few times but it was great although i dont think i like the story lol. It owuld have been different if someone wasnt paying. Well great write my friend. I love the title i think the titles are very important. The imagery in them and the alliteration or whatever you hve in them can make or break the poem sometimes. You did great and it reminded me of a song by Extol. Emancipation Proclomation and reminded me of my poem Instantaneous Love. God bless and love you.
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interesting....a bit confusing but i think i get it.....you are a talented writer keep it up...and i love the title....
DHkitty
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