Broken face, with the broken lungs.
Fix me with the lipstick please.
Mend my face and give me charm.
Make them love me. Love me.
Picasso curves and Van Gogh mystery.
Make them love me. Love me.
Another heart break wrapped in a ribbon.
Decorated with foundation.
No one to see the flaws underneath the layer.
Velvet overlay. Scarred underlay.
Make them love me. Love me.
Understand my artificial masked victory.
Make them love me. Love me.
I am the doll face with cracked china.
Spitting esteem in to the disguise.
Hide those ugly eyes with the mascara,darling.
Interrupted by the cheap makeup.
Make them love me. Love me.
Picasso curves and Van Gogh mystery.
Make them love me. Love me.
Author notes
This is for the emotion, discontented/empty etc. you get my drift. But especially Low self esteem and cofidence
Written January 1st, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Willing to Die for Beauty by LaAmyaArlene.
300 points, ended October 1, 2005, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I really liked this, and liked the 'love me please' part a lot too.
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amazing
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aweome friggen poem it was like........ wow but where does someone starving themselves git into that or was the contest about just not liek yourself or somethin i dunno but it wa a great write
oxcoxoxoxoxoxoxo
*~*Kazzie*~* -
i can feel the words
this is a really good poem, i like how you repeated the words love me. it has a similar theme i think to a poem i wrote, "isnt she a doll" i really like it, keep writting! -
i really like this poem, i think that it will have a meaning to anyone that reads it. i hope you do good in the contest and keep on writting
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all i can say is amen.,..i think this is something most girls should read..it takes life as it really is...and honestly your average girl as she is...instead of the fairtale socity presents us with and niave points of view people assume at first glance..it looks beneath the skin to honesty and what really is...i like this a lot.
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awesome.
this is beautiful!! I've written something similar myself, this is great. I'm glad to see someone who has a similar take on this issue as I do. -
This was a great read.The language and metaphor is rich.The singsong quality to the repeats brings a surreal air to the message of despair.I am quite vulnerable to the wounded dove feelings expressed with such a creative approach.
Peace,Rob -
this is really good my favourite line is "Spitting esteem in to the disguise" Its a really gd idea about using the idea of a doll portraying self esteem issues sicked write!
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thanks very much
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wow! this is awesome. the kind of piece i am looking for in this contest. amazing writing here (great metaphor) and i think you captured emotion incredibly well here. i totally get the feeling of low confidence/self-esteem, a need to feel accepted but unhappy how you are so you hide. beautiful wording, you choose exquisite words here that lead to vivid imagery. the repition of Make them love me. Love me. really drove home what you were trying to convey. but my favorite line has to be: Picasso curves and Van Gogh mystery. pure brilliance. i love what this evokes in my mind, conjuring up the great works of these artists.
anyway, i could babble forever about this, but i enjoyed it fully, and it was a true pleasure to read. keep up the fabulous workl. thank you so much for entering, and best of luck in the contest <33 -
Excellent
I like this piece because of its in your face kind of emotion. In its words hides a challenge, a dare. Love me. See the real me beyond the mask that I wear. Excellent writing that brings out raw emotion for the reader...at least it did for this reader. -
thanks. i guess its more for girls. but i think for lads it can be used as a metaphore. if u know what i mean. oh well. keep well, is it ok if i add u to my favourites, as i think ur an amazing writer, Leo?
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I can't say that I know the feeling because I've never worn make-up but there are those morning I wish I could hide those bloodshot eyes.
Regards,
Leo Long
ps. Thanks for reading and commenting on my work. -
Your metaphors were incredible.
"heart break wrapped in a ribbon.
Decorated with foundation.
No one to see the flaws underneath the layer.
Velvet overlay. Scarred underlay."
Initially I thought she was abused physically, then it became clearer for me that it was an internal emotion. This is a perfect one for the contest...
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Good!
wow! This was totally mind blowing, it reminds me a lot of a girl in my class..... keep up the good work
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