locked wards cower in the distant gloom;
grated windows pattern all my dreams;
heavy haze distorts my heavy mood.
my eyes are weary of watching faded lights;
i wait throughout the dismal night to hear
the call of a rooster just beyond my sight.
silence is an ever-present drone;
tempered springs betray my slightest move;
grated windows pattern all my dreams.
these cinderblocks enfold my spirit in lime;
interred in tomblike walls of concrete halls,
my eyes are weary of watching faded lights.
thoughts amid this broken darkness brood;
restless motions lurk within the shade;
tempered springs betray my slightest move.
this is the crypt where my rotting soul is set,
thus laid to rest beyond that twilight hail,
the call of a rooster just beyond my sight.
time is fractured into mental shards,
strewn against the darkness of my view;
restless motions lurk within the shade.
and the images betray my heart with lies
that flash against my mind as crumbled hopes;
my eyes are weary of watching faded lights.
here i watch them phase in empty hues,
omens of a future laid in brick
strewn against the darkness of my view.
this lucid static is comfort of a sort
that’s lost with every sunrise when i hear
the call of a rooster just beyond my sight.
black within the slowly rising brume,
locked wards cower in the distant gloom,
omens of a future laid in brick;
heavy haze distorts my heavy mood.
i dread the sound that will end another night,
a sound that seals my fate within this hell—
my eyes are weary of watching faded lights—
the call of a rooster just beyond my sight.
Author notes
to learn more about the hybridanelle: allpoetry.com/Column/1086828/all=1
Written December 27th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 86 of 86
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It's hard to think of something immediately so in the dark category as "another" dark depressed thing. But such is the same with any category something would be placed in, I tend to place tendances of word dependance upon one another.
While you did well at this, and executed your hypridanelle I felt the nearing and appending end of this reached certain words found all too often in any dark image.
Words like "darkness" and "view".. "heart" and "lies", and "shards" in general. I think it's wonderful, though mostly so in it's own form-able merit.
This is your 2nd, or at least the title suggests that. I think it just needed the bigger words that I saw with your article.
Anyway, I'm heading off to bed. You know how it is.
Keep up the good work. -
Loved it!
A brilliant piece of work... This was definatley worth taking the time to read... I didn't know whether the subject was brooding or angered though...sorta made for a pleasant mix... It kinda reminds me how I feel everytime I see the light... keep up the good work! -
This poem is truly compelling, not in the way that the words are expressed but how they are presented. I think that you've truly mastered a beautiful structure, and I'm sure you are very proud of this poem. The lyrical quality is so nice; the repition keeps the reader knowing what he is supposed to be thinking. This was most enjoyable to read, I hope to read more sometime.
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WONDERFUL.... I loved this, you have great talent and I truly enjoyed reading this. what a great poem you shared. It showed creativity and great description. Loved it.
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I liked: the ideas and descriptions. This is a very ambient piece, so to be able to carry on this ambience, I believe you probably have to have a sense of description.
I didn't like: how long this was. Why use many stanza when you could use one stanza to get your message across? Just a thought. -
awesome
when i first read this poem, i thought of a young girl in an insane asylum. thus she keeps repeating phrases in her head about her paranoia and yearnings. i really liked this poem because of the emotion, the visual i got from it, and your imagery in general. i too shall applaud this. keep it up. -
very well written
This poem was very well written, you did a great job. You have a great talent, keep it up!
I would love to see what you think of my poem A Wise Man...favor to ask? Great poem!
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This is awesome. It's description made me picture everything like I was there. That's probobly what you were aiming for though huh?
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Oh, Erin. Reading this I feel so hopeful, yet scared at the same time. It's like I'm there, huddled on a cot in front of a barred window...I know that freedom is out there, beyond the walls of this horrible place, but it seems so far. This is beautiful, and it brought tears to my eyes. Keep up the great work doesn't bring justice to your skill. So all I'll say is that I anxiously await your next hybridanelle, because I already know that it will be a smash hit. Much love to you and yours,
Nicole -
this was very moving . a sturdy poem . i liked it . great write!!!
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Wow. Nice job on this. I might try this form sometime. It looks interesting, but I don't know that I can pull it off. I really liked the last line. The whole rooster thing was my favorite thing about this poem.
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utterly brilliant
Brilliant. Your work is....I cant find the words xxx -
crystaldust 14-07-05 17:27
This is one of the finest poems I have ever read. The form, which you have made your own, is perfect for all the imagery you conjure up. It is sheer perfection. Am looking forward very much to your article on the hybridenelle though can't hope to achieve it in my own writing. -
Wow, this was amazing, I love the form that you used here, this is very good and shows that you have a lot of talent as a poet and a writer. Keep up the great work, you should put this in a contest if you havent already, its very good.
black within the slowly rising brume,
locked wards cower in the distant gloom,
omens of a future laid in brick;
heavy haze distorts my heavy mood.
i dread the sound that will end another night,
a sound that seals my fate within this hell—
my eyes are weary of watching faded lights—
the call of a rooster just beyond my sight
That's my favorite part, that was a great way to end the poem. Graet work, when i get some more time I"m gonna have to check out some more of your writings. once again, great job, keep up the excellent work, bye for now
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wonderful
I really really liked this a lot, the style and form was perfect.
the whole thing was put together exeptionaly well! the flow the feel the look, wonderfully written!! -
Interesting
Interesting write. This form is very difficult, but you do well with it. I do feel the write suffers slightly from this pattern, as you seem very expressive and fluid in your design.
Nicely done,
Peace,
Ed -
i really like this one. the mood is concrete, which is good-- you do not deviate from the tone you set out to portray. i'm glad you decided to share this with me, and i didn't even know the "hotel california" was inspired by a real place. i just like the song. anyway, this is great-- i like it the most out of what i've read of yours so far. great recurring image of the rooster...
can't wait to read more.
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my eyes are weary of watching faded lights;
i wait throughout the dismal night to hear
the call of a rooster just beyond my sight.
this right here was, in my opinion, the best stanza in the poem. Some people like Morning some like night.. it seems when you where in the Mental hospital you liked morning best. is it because you had most inspiration? because you could look out that little window and see all the beautiful colors.. the sunrise.. the lush, green trees? This poem reflects the way your childhood was. i love it. this is proof that you are my favorite poet
what else.. ah!
i dread the sound that will end another night,
a sound that seals my fate within this hell—
my eyes are weary of watching faded lights—
the call of a rooster just beyond my sight.
The sound.. is it the sound of the lights being shut off? When your inspiration leaves? When everything goes dark? When I read this stanza the "rooster" which in my mind ment "morning" now means "heaven" understand what I'm saying?
best wishes, I lovedthe poem!
-Holly hoo Hoo
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Well done.
It was very interesting and very deep. I really enjoyed the form of this poem; it seemed to flow very well. And I especially enjoyed the imagery that you used, (I’m a sucker for imagery and symbolism.) It made for a very captivating read. My favorite part was this:
“black within the slowly rising brume,
locked wards cower in the distant gloom,
omens of a future laid in brick;
heavy haze distorts my heavy mood.”
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sanity: i plan on writing an article that will describe the hybridanelle in detail. glad to know i already have an interested reader.
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A very interesting form, I am in to challenges where form is concerned and would like to know more about this. It is very indepth and each stanza seems to stand alone, yet coming to gether perfectly. Please tell me more...........
take care
sanity
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Bravo
I found this to be deeply moving on a number of levels including internal fear, society statuses and finding ones way through their own fears. Just to repeat a few choice opinions made by others; out of this world flow, even given that I had to reread some sections, masterful wording and expression of complex ideals.
This may be rehashing an old and dusted phase but it conveys a sense of completeness within a whole set of ideas. You truly are talented and deserve to be a published author; you may even be already, I would not be surprised.
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This piece seems a little over the top for us simple folk and left me feeling a bit claustrophobic and gasping for air – but I am a surface swimmer and not used to the depths – Albert.
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This form seems to be very complexed to me! Although I am not as avid a poet as you and have not studied poetry. I mearly write. However this piece makes me feel almost like I were locked in a dark dungeon awaiting the suns few rays that would disturb my essence. I find this to have a edgar allen poe feel to it! The mood is dark and dreary and seems almost as if the emotions of the writter are more of a prison and in the darkest hours the writter can be free of those emotions. I find myself in these dark states of mind and when the darkness falls across the land I find some relief in the quiet somber veils of the night. It seems to be relaxing and clears my thought from this reality that i live. Perhaps it is because the world slumbers in these dark hours and silence is freedom from life. But when the light comes once again I find myself entwined with the troubles of everyday life slowly dragging me under the river like a 2 ton stone wrapped around my neck! I thank you for sharing this piece as I feel I am not so alone in this world!
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Imagry here was quite amazing, and I have no words to suffice what you have captured here, really but you write extremely well.
~Tina -
I really, really liked this form.
This poem is the kind of write that contains beauty, darkness and sade images, all very well divided to form a perfect read.
It really touches a button in the mind of everyone that read this with the appropriate attention.
The rhymes are excellent and so is the rhythm.
Although I'm not so fond of dark poems, this one really pleased me, thanks!
Kisses,
Mari
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inspiring
a great poem with a hypnotic beat, packed with excellent imagery and tightly focused in its closed-in atmosphere. i felt at various times as i read and re-read this poem as if i was in a cell and then as if i was in a morgue, and then in a coffin.
your poem took me on many interesting, grim and lucid journeys.
a dark poem, but not in the least depressing in a bad way - i guess i felt good-quality depression, rather like listening to a leonard cohen song while reading edgar allen poe.
i admire and respect your experiments in form - it has long been a tradition amongst the old formalists, the new formalists and the future formailists. you are a future formalist. i am in awe of this poem.
all the best with your creative and publishing career,
myron. -
"book worthy"...I completely agree. In fact I do not know why you are not churning out published volumes. This is amazing talent. But I will not state the obvious. The form will take me some time to figure out. My poor brain will have to work over time to sort out the structure but I have a strong feeling it will be well worth the efforts.
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this, I would say, is definitely book worthy.
what I like about this most is the unique rhyming, such as brood/move,
gave it a slight Plathian mood though this is definitely your own creation.
the variances of repitition added interest as well, and made this a great read overall.
well done.
~O -
Excellent!
Very nice! Very, very nice! I really enjoyed the flow of this piece very much, and the mood was indeed nquite "heavy." YOur work is always of such high quality, it is quite pointless for me to remind you of it! Keep it up. -
very descriptive and long. i like it.
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Good read good write
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Aeolian Song: This piece was brilliant. I have written a few Terzanelle [eleven to be exact] and I favor complex forms, just as you do. This fusion of these two complex forms into one, "super form" was pure genius. Your words, the mood you create, the very images that are instilled through the mastery of your craft is perfect. I really enjoyed this piece... and I must say that you have inspired me to look further and to derive my own form. Thank you. And keep on penning and I wish you the greatest success in your search for the perfect, complex form!
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Wow, this is a darkly romantic night on the featured! I really did like the whole closed-in feeling of the writing. You could almost smell and feel the damp dank walls closing in on the writer. This writing really reminded me of old Count of Monte Cristo and Poeish Mask of the Red Death type stuff. A truly enjoyable read.
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the structure is indeed inspired by the terzanelle and villanelle. if you look closely, you'll see that this poem is infact a direct fusing of the two forms into a single new form. instead of the a1-b-a2,a-b-a1,a-b-a2,...,a-b-a1-a2 of the villanelle and the a1-b1-a2,b-c1-b1,...,x-a1-x1-a2 of the terzanelle, this is in fact a1-b1-a2,c1-d-c2,b-e1-b1,c-d-a1,...,c-d-a2,x-a1-x1-a2,c-d-c1-c2.
it's a remarkably complex arrangment, which is good because a structure like this prepares me for my next project that will be starting in about two and a half years, which deals with dynamic structures using the strophe, antistrophe, and epode. by "dynamic", i mean that each and every poem is unique in structure to all others written by the same author, but there is a perfect consistency in meter and prosody between the three stanzas. so, combining already complex forms such as the villanelle and terzanelle into an even more complex form is to my benefit since i'll ultimately be spending four years working almost explicitely with a dynamic form of poetry barely touched upon in english because of the difficulty involved.
aye, i'm in training, a poeticician.
god forbid i ever give up like whitman and take the easy way out, just writing tripe and selling it with such vigor that people are ultimately convinced of the sale and decide they like tripe for the next several generations.
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I'm not familiar with this form, but I'm guessing its a distant cousin of the terza rima and villanelle? Hmmm. Interesting. The poem is good, but it seems like you're imposing your will on the images more than letting them express themselves (a common difficulty in writing such structured poetry, I know myself). Well done. Keep on truckin' and all that jazz.
your cerulean dreamer,
michele -
Very good
Deeeep man, deeeep man. I like it as it inspires much though.
Has timeless quality about it that'd allow it to transend the bridge of mere moments until, well you get the idea. -
intricate.detailed but good. It didn't wear on like so many long poems do. nice job!
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Excellent Writing
This exceptionally well-crafted and penned poem greatly reminds me of Poe, one of my favorites, because it is quite deep and profound; speaking of something or some event or time frame deliberately left unsaid. Thus, it clearly expresses deep pain, much as Poe's later writes did after his wife died.
I usually avoid dark and erotic categories-- unless the former has a positive spiritual conclusion or the latter is clean and beautiful yet mislabeled-- and, quite frankly, I did click on this by accident. Having read some of your work before, I realized I would read this one.
While I may have said this before, I certainly will say it again: you are exceptionally talented. Since I believe all talent is God-given, I tend to look for a dark poem to end on the positive note of having overcome and giving God the glory. Nevertheless, your talent is great.
Love and hugs, Bon
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wonderful
speachless is the only way to describe me rite now. although i can type these few words, this poem is truly worth every second it took to read. if this was in a book, or published, i would buy it in the blink of an eye. keep up the good work, and ill continue to follow your progress, dont let your true tallent go unoticed. -
Great
This had a dark cold feel to it, chock full of emotion. Great imagery. I like how you used the call of the rooster line repeatedly, it makes it unique. This made me sad but I appreciate a poem intense enough to make me feel a certain emotion. Great work! -
grim and lovely at the same time...it feels...painful-It seems as if it was painful to write it...and at the same time...it's just so unbelievably lovely!! And it just brings out this feeling of deep sorrow in me...that's not a bad thing, it's very nice it calmed me down a bit XD I was very hyper...but anyways, I just love it, I can feel it in my bones I can feel the whole thing, if that makes any sense...I get touched very easily and emotionally involved in things very easily, and you've given me a dose of pain and sadness mixed together...something very queer and radical to be experiencing...thank you
Edited on Jan 10, 4:46 p.m. because 'left-out word'. -
nice, dark, descriptions. made me feel like i was in a tunnel as i read it. good job.
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Astonishing. So very, very descriptive. Definitely keep writing.
~Smidge~ 
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The coldness certainly creeps out in this piece. You brought to life a chilling hell. Very well done.
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this was very dark and cold, i loved it, it was a very good poem that was surprisingly deep, keep writing
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Very powerful! At least in my imagination, I do believe this is what the dead would experience, if indeed they experienced anything at all. This is just fantastic! I enjoyed it greatly.
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I really like this poem, it conveys a dark feeling with the heavy haze and the faded lights. Overall, a great poem.
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LadyofDreams: you know, there are some words that i stumble upon which are the most aptly used misnomers due to a mis-spelling. your misspelling of "undescribable" sounded so familiar to me as i read it, and it seemed to make perfect sense to my mind as it was mis-spelled. then it hit me, "undescry", which is also not a word, but "descry" is. and, althrough you didn't intend to do this for me, , thank you!
it truly is an undescriable deepness of pain and oppression i once knew, it is a torment that even despite my best efforts could not be descried. the nice thing about "descry" is that it captures the sense of "discernment" as well as the sense of "crying out". it is something that i myself could no more discern than adequately express, cry out.
this poem perhaps expresses a particular asepct of my experience, the nights. i was 13 and 14 years old at the time. if you read "My first true love is poetry", a column, you'll find a reference to where i was between 13 and 14 years old, and then this may make a great deal more sense to you then.
thank you for your time, your words, your recognition, and your mis-spelling. you've lightened my day.
Edited on Jan 06, 7:09 p.m. because 'correcting poor grammar'. -
This was so dark and cold, yet had a certain undescriable deepness. It reminds me of someone who had been in the Holocaust, or a concentation camp. Or even locked in the confines of one's mind. This a a great piece, and well be passed along to my friends as soon as I can, I think almost everyone should read this. It gave me a feeling of insignifigance, the feeling that all problems are outweighed by some much larger power that could wipe us all away. You make me hear the loud silence and feel the gloom and doom of the world you created, I can see the sunrise, rising above the brick. Personally I would love to read more of your work, if any of it is half this good, then you will do great.
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Kudos
I know you already know how great you are as a writer, I just can't believe I have been a member here for 3 yrs and not ran across you yet.
when you are ready to be published get ahold of Jaden for he does the Journal for AP and this should be in it. -
Words are our gateway for emotions. Your gate was wide open for this poem and I took the liberty to walk through and take a look around. Your style is quite graphic and descriptive. I will make sure to wave at the exit. Bravo
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Rooster just beyond my sight? I like that. Donno why, but I do.
I agree that it evokes claustrophobia. Villanelle are just so...evil...to write.You got guts, and talent. -
Cool! Claustrophobic and somehow still uplifting!
I love:
"silence is an ever-present drone"
It reminded me of the scene in Kill Bill where The Bride is buried alive and has to claw her way out of the coffin and through the earth.
I admire the way you managed this poem to still sing, despite the dark subject matter.
Cheers! -
All I can say is, 'wow, I wish I could write like that', bravo!
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Beautiful combination of form. I spent a better part... well, all of my poetry writing years working in free verse and just recently had a little fun with forms like the villanelle (which is so much harder than it first seems!) and know I am a long long way from truly understanding the art of form poetry, but gotta say that you've done a beautiful job of it here.
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I saw your name in the featured box, and remembered I liked your work, as I do what you have here. Strange ... I almost don't want to understand it more, for how it describes how I personally feel; I like it dark, cold, uncomfortable, and slightly confusing. Weird, maybe, but there's a connection felt here. Thanks.
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you write better then i ! hehe guess i'll keep writing! anywho i loved it great job!
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I actually sent this to Kasdaye in response to her comment, but realized there was more in my thoughts that is in response to our recent discussion (which i plan to pick up again eventually):
educated enough? don't be silly. i like to see people's reactions regardless of what their backgrounds are. i'm actually entirely uneducated, and it's no joke. what i've learned about poetry and language (and a few other things) is what i have managed to shake out of those more learned than myself and great big tomes that seem to have something useful to offer me and my studies.
my favorite thing is to see people's thought processes when they read. what they visualized and what they felt. what lines struck them and why. this sort of thing. i already know the prosody of the poem, i wrote it, so i don't need to be told about that. i was having a discussion with DeBracey about pointillism ('pwan ti ,yis m -- i couldn't believe it when i looked up the pronunciation of that word) as relates to impressionist art. so i've been playing around with some of the concepts that came up in our conversation, wondering if i could produce something like the effects of pointillism (which is when the mind combines the colors and patterns to create the image from an impressionist painting) through language. i think this is something i'll be exploring more through time because pointillism strikes me as being one of the core, yet unrecognized, elements of poetry. -
I promised that I would read your work. Frankly, blows me away. It's wonderful writing. I only wish I was educated enough to compose a good comment.
Jenn -
Dear A S,
Read this in features the other night but have not, until now, gotten around to commenting on it.
Last poem of yours I've liked so much since Troubador.
Sorry about your friend.
I think that your studying this medium has made all the difference, and I mean to the good.
I believe you are extraordinarily gifted, which means you probably work at it harder than most.
This poem brings to mind some not so fond recollections of my own. But we have to remember that "Walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage".Forget who wrote that at present!
Take care, and Merry Christmas!
John,
Las Vegas, Nevada
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THIS IS GOOD I LKE TO READ POEM LIKE YOUR GOD JOB READ MY POEM AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OK
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this is so great. you deffinately should write more
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very good
quite self disclosing,you have a story to tell -
tempered springs ... normally I am against the use of edjectives, but when you choose the right one, it can really enhance the write, like your choice of the word tempered here.
tempered springs betray my slightest move... the repetition of this line creates a sense of peril.
There is something very Poe-esque about this form. I enjoyed it a lot.
Sorry it took me so long to get back to read this. -
Happy New Year's Erin... I can barely find my way through a Villanelle, let alone a blend of both... You are remarkable. A find the Terzanelle very difficult, and yet, you make it appear so easy... The smooth run from line to line, image to image is impeccable.
This stanza:
i dread the sound that will end another night,
a sound that seals my fate within this hell—
my eyes are weary of watching faded lights—
the call of a rooster just beyond my sight."
Is a poem in itself. Excellent poetry Erin.. Perhaps, when I am ready to take on such a task as a Villanelle, you might share some of your wisdom on params and inner workings? ...
Hugs, and Happy New Year! Liz -
It was a very intersting poem, though I am not familiar with the form. I know terzanelle and villanelle but this poem did not show the repeating form or pattern of either? I did enjoy the poem and it was very dark and did capture my tastes... I will read it again. Thank you for sharing and good luck.
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i agree with poetry man that sucks taking all your points lol
ok back to the poem
"tempered springs betray my slightest move."
i like the whole poem-but it's lines like these
that blow my mind-i think this is the best part of the whole poem-one that the reader reads over and onto the next line but the imagery still hovering until the end
ash
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Very, very well-written. This combined the perfect combination of imagery, metaphor and other poetic techniques to produce a beautiful piece of art. I applaud!
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It has taken me a while to build up the mental strength to enter here. The clanging doors lead into the work house, a Dickensian asylum, a 'Midnight Express'style political prison, but most of all those places inside the head that we most fear.The word choice ,the sheer penetration of the word sounds,the images here woven into this form with the more subtle line repetitions than in either the villanelle or the terzanelle make this a into sensory journey into the tunnel of darkness of which psychological nightmares are made.(I think I will dare to breathe now, but I will have to go outside to do it)
Edited on Jan 02, 2:59 p.m. because ''. -
"black within the slowly rising brume,
locked wards cower in the distant gloom,
omens of a future laid in brick;
heavy haze distorts my heavy mood.
i dread the sound that will end another night,
a sound that seals my fate within this hell—
my eyes are weary of watching faded lights—
the call of a rooster just beyond my sight."
It is very hard to read this and not feel trapped in it. Very well written and a good read but I was glad to finish it.
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superlative
BRavo! You are such a talented poetess!! What's to be critical about? It's perfect!~ -
Increddible write very dark but a great read Love the repertition always making you aware of the time .well done
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Sexy, with a beefy aftertaste.
One word, MEAT. -
i like this one
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i like your poem
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i like this one
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Excellent! While reading this I got the feeling of being trapped in a hard, dark place. This is very dark and depressing indeed, and it also carries the emotion and imagery wonderfully. "my eyes are weary of watching faded lights" gives a sense of hopelessness. Great job!
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Erin,
I can feel the emotions you try to put out in this poem, My mom used to lay in bed sicker than a dog, and if I went outiside at anytime, she would yell at me to get into the house
the house was smelly dark, filthy, sad, loney...I stayed inside for a whole week once
no window,
watching my sick sister janae, puking on everything, and sleeping and fucking up my back on the kitchen chair bed I made
I know how you feel, Very metaphoric and clear in my eyes
-Holly -
Just as a side note...we used to use lime in the horse stalls that were made of packed clay. It was for odor control. Horse urine is full of amonia and the lime would eradicate it very effectively.
Your slight change to that line does, indeed make it read better. Glad your research into this produced something beneficial. The title is now perfect.
Cheers and sincere wishes for a far less meloncholy 2005,
Del -
Very, very good
Very nice......keep up the good work! -
as i dug into the lime-burrial issue, i came across the word "inhumation". never encountered this word before one day in my life. it is the perfect title for this piece.
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i think i may have solved it. i wanted the pauper's burrial image of "a lime-filled grave", and i've heard from multiple sources that "lime" has been, and still is, used to fill graves because it speeds the decomposition of the biomatter burried therein. it's an acidic soil. however, i think the new wording also implies this sense of decomposition, but now also does a better job of contributing to the development of the image on the next line.
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i was under the impression lime was used in graves to speed decay, to dissolve dead bodies. now that i'm looking into it i can't find a reference to lime being used in graves. i have no idea where i go this crazy notion from now...
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great new form
Excellent job on this Erin, I am never disappointed when I come in to read your work.
I am not real fond of this line...
"these cinderblocks dissolve my spirit like lime;"
and I bet YOU aren't either. First of all, lime doesn't dissolve..it builds up...and second the use of "spirit and like and lime" consecutively causes a big bump to this reader.
The asonnance and consonance are well done throughout...a true technical marvel of accomplishment. Now I see why you have been slow in getting to my page lately...lol.
Some may be put off by the length of this, but once into it, I was moved to read on and on and on...another fine feature of this new form.
The content is sad because I see an individual in a near hopeless state with little to look forward too. Even making the most of the prison-like state is becoming a drag. I am sure those who have experienced deep depression will readily identify.
I will return to this one again and may have further comments...but I need to make the rounds and let this sink in some more...may even come up with an idea for that troublesome line.
Cheers,
Del
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