A flood of silence pulls me
behind identified reality..
I exist only for myself
I exist only if I say--
all else burns away
into frosty silver ashes
that splash gracefully
across the regal, cosmic sea,
lustrously reflected..
dead and collected.
Someone is knocking
just below the horizon;
something still breathing...
But emptiness sucks on my lungs
and my mouth is full of copper.
Stiletto fingers quivering,
my eyes are staring, full of steam,
at letters on the headstones:
all uniform etchings
with half-hidden cracks
all evenly subjected;
all dead and collected.
A light is flaring
between the frozen branches,
a force is staring...
I shake off rash droplets
of tepid false pride
bleeding from my temples
and crumble concrete value
beneath my burning boots,
as roots below me sip away
the lives reduced to full decay.
I wonder why I walk today
for a tomorrow crushed to clay:
memory ejected,
dead and collected.
I lift up my head,
stare into the fraying sky,
and open my hand.
Without a past, I could be boundless.
Without a past, I couldn’t be.
Without sorrow, I could be steady.
Without sorrow, I couldn’t see.
Those who ignore are firmly protected
with their feet on the floor,
dead and collected.
As my mind stumbles
through my heart’s fierce hammering,
I start to wonder...
What dragged me into subsistence
for those treasure moments
blown onto my tongue
every once in a while?
Who made me live
those scraps of life
I keep stashed and cherished
within my heart?
What could chisel me
into a form selected?
Who can craft a life
fulfilled and connected?
The answer is me.
This life doesn’t have to be
dead and collected.
Author notes
This was written for a challenge in which I had to write about falling apart, becoming selfish, letting go of everything; with contradiction hopeful haikus between each stanza. Unfortunately I didn't read the rules carefully enough because there was a minimum for hte # of stanzas and the whole thing was supposed to rhyme....but I put it up anyways because it came out so naturally and I don't feel like picking at it right now. Suggestions welcome, though.
Written August 28th, 2002
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neutral
i really like the senryu interludes between the free verse stanzas. if you haven't already, i would include this work in your submissions to whichever periodicals you include in your queue. i don't have any suggestions toward changing it. this is nicely done. i'll get to your next poems you want me to read in due time. -
don't touch it!
Magnificent. If you can see me, I'd be standing up to clap. I loved it. I love the meter, the rhyme scheme, the word choice. EXCELLENT!!!
I am sorry I have only read one of your poems. BUT I WILL READ MORE. I have been preoccupied by life and downtrodden by memories.
I will come back.
I will read more.
I invite you to read some more of mine if the mood takes you.
Again, well done!!!!!!! -
excellent
Your poem demonstrates that the Self may grow unlimited and textured at the same time ... whatever the circumstances. I loved this poem ...
Kindest Regards, Myra
Edited by myrataal on Sep 08. -
don't touch it!
This is fantastic. Powerfully introspective.
Love the use of haiku's/senryu's, fantastic way to add contrast and narrative - poem transcends any competition, keep it as it is - Steve -
neutral
i have added you to my favorites . i love your work .
this piece is excellent . thanx for sharing .
=sheshe143=
please come visit my page* -
excellent
i was going to do that challenge but it seemed a bit complicated. bravo to your go at it. -
excellent
Lu (?)
I'm so glad you came and commented on one of my poems so that I was able to 'discover' you and read some of your work. This piece blew me away, in plain english. I don't care what the 'rules' were, this is an exceptional piece of writing.
Sag -
neutral
I love this piece. It's refreshingly creative and has a fantastic rhythm to it. :O)
~*~Kat C~*~ -
excellent
a very good write, screw the rules. -
excellent
that was awesome! poems that just flow out naturally are often the best because they come from the heart. -
excellent
Great piece and I love the title. Thanks for reading and commenting on mine. DD -
don't touch it!
this is really good. If I ever let go, my whole life would go crazy and then so would I and then I couldn't come here anymore and write wonderful poetry with you people! Great write! -
Yeah steph, thanks for mentioning that--I've been thinking about chopping off some of that crap at the end....haha....it just seems like I can't match the level of intensity during the last few stanzas (that aren't haikus). As for the haikus, they may seem forced because of the syllable limit.
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neutral
eh. screw the rules, friend.
this was nice and if it just...came out, it's something genuine and i'd rather see that from you than fabricated structure that inhibits just what it is you're saying. it's beautiful, indeed.
hope all is well.
one thing..
the conclusion was kind of.. awkward for me. i wish i could put it in better terms for you, but something about it is still tugging at me. -
don't touch it!
I love this... wow, incredible write. Really enjoyed this one :-) -
don't touch it!
i am dead and collected and enjoying my time of flaking away. HA!
:0)
Nam
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