Dark angel spreads her wings to fly
Her shadow cast across the moon,
And gremlins will their trade now ply
When witches sing the ancient rune.
Elves will dance in the Forest glade
And bats will leave the darkest caves.
It's now dark spells with blood are made
The living dead will leave their graves.
In unhallowed ground spirits stir.
On devil's dog the hackles rise.
Black cat will now so softly purr
As vampires take to midnight skies.
This is the time that only comes
When planets with the moon Align.
The night when witches prick their thumbs
And vampires on sweet blood will dine.
Sister moon her face will hide.
The devil now will make his choice
Which one will be his humble bride
"It's me" is heard dark angels voice.
She lies upon the alter high
With blasphemy the words are said.
Now fornicates with darkest lord
And innocence at last is dead.
Author notes
I lock my doors at night
Written December 30th, 2004
A contest entry
- DARK & UNNATURAL! by Asylaarix.
450 points, ended December 17, 2006, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Darkwrite Challenge - A Multiround Contest by Alleksa Jan.
525 points, ended January 16, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make It Dark by peregrin.
450 points, ended August 10, 2008, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twist by Dark Prince Chaos.
500 points, ended August 14, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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bveautiful truly i can't explane this in words you are a truly amazing poet i loved this with a pashon great work and good luck in my contest -bows- (*)
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It is good, I like the write, and I really like the picture, it works well.
Good luck in my contest. -
Great!
First of all let me thank you for entering this wonderful piece of poetry - it was ever such a pleasure to read it.
Now to the poem - the flow, the meter, the rhythm - is almost flawless. Also I'm so impressed by the fact that you were also able to put some sense into the poem as well - that is hard when one is rhyming!
On the matter of the topic itself - reading about the dark angels, elves, gremlins and et cetera have never been entertaining for me. I'm no fan of vampire folklore - but in your poem you've incorporated it so gracicously and organically that I find no other word of critique.
Thank you for honouring me with your talentfully written poem and welcome into the next round.
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OMG ... this is WONDERFUL!!!! thank you so much for this ... i am so honored to have read this write!!!!
Elves will dance in the Forest glade
And bats will leave the darkest caves.
It's now dark spells with blood are made
The living dead will leave their graves.
In unhallowed ground spirits stir.
On devil's dog the hackles rise.
Black cat will now so softly purr
As vampires take to midnight skies.
This is the time that only comes
When planets with the moon Align.
The night when witches prick their thumbs
And vampires on sweet blood will dine.
ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! the imagery is so outspoken in this piece ... I LOVED IT
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What a beautiful, yet dark, work. The last stanza was so powerful, I reread it several times. I love your use of the ABAB rhyme scheme, because you didn't make it seem at all forced in any way. Great job and good luck.
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BLEW ME AWAY
Holy Moly! This was very Dark and deep and super creative!!! I can see why a lot of people like it, it is definitely a Brilliant piece of writing!!!!! Congrats!!!! I love the structure, flow,rhymes...Everything!!! It blew me away, it was really good, and I love the pic too! It really brought the words to life!Thanks for sharing it with me, it was a joy to read...keep rocking poems like this out!
~Terri Anna~ -
All I can say is, WOW. This is the best poem I've read on this site yet. Great job!!!
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Wow, this is awesome! I especially like the words "blasphemy" and "fornicate" the way you used them, as it almost personifies the moon. Great write, good luck, and thanks for entering!
Much Love,
Immortal Obscurity -
It sounds almost like a chant or an incantation. Parts of it get stuck in my head. All together very well written and i truely like this peice. Thanks for entering.
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Maybe you should keep your tongue in your mouth and your thoughts in your head... your not producing helpful comments, effective response OR good poetry!!
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Put your claws away little girl
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Its not that great....
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I take it back...
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Hi. thanks a million, hugs Di
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popular poem, can see why, great write, thanks for entering!!
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Hi Jessica, thanks a million, hugs Di
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Goodness! Well, I have to admit that this was a joy to read. I've always liked darker writes such as these, but it has been a long time since I've read one on this site that I truly enjoyed. The picture fit in perfectly-a nice little enhancement for the poem. Nice write, and thank you for entering my contest.
~Jessica -
woah! that was so amazing. that isnt like the things i usually like, but it was still- wow- nonetheless! thanks for entering
luv always
~Jenae -
Whow! I loved this! Dark and tasty embelished write.Sends shivers down the spine! Nice write! ~~Suseann
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This was fantastic ... sent shivers up my spine and it flowed so easily - I dont know how you did it, love the last line also
Innocent is now dead
having just fully described the magical 'evil' of the land ... Wow, i applaud this poem! -
Hi , thanks a mollion, hugs Di
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I am very impressed, Di. Great job with this. I was very dark, and kinda gave me a twist of Halloween so I could picture myself in the mist. Great job!!
-whit -
The imagery in this was beautiful and the rhyming and flow, for the most part, worked wonderfully. There was an eerie feel to the entire poem and I loved the last four lines.
Nice job, keep it up and good luck in the contest!
~notxyourxstar -
Hi thanks a million, hugs, Di
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Swell poem.
Very nice.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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great
Very fanciful and wonderful poem even if creatures are stirring
I like the rhyme and rhythm of meter too. Very good writing even better to see that effort was behind it becuase such fine writing takes percision. Wishing you many perennial dreams...
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Although not my usual favoured type of poetry, the first two lines convinced me to read this poem, and I was not dissapointed. I found it wonderfully pictorial, the flow was so smooth I was awed, and the rhyme was perfect and totally unforced. (I loved it by the way) Best wishes in the contest Kxx
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WOW THIS IS AWSOME! i like the way the words went together very very well! it was really good...but i don't know if i like the devil type thing...BUT it was still very good...i only say that because it ain't my thing! well good write!
sweetgirl16
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holy crap... that was awesome!!!!! great work it just flowed and the imagery was amazing and holy crap... that was a very great poem... again great job and good luck in the contest!
~Will -
wow...well done on a very captivating piece. I loved the flow and the whole idea of this piece it was awesome. Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
Countrybabe
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Hi my friend this is part of a collection,lol, thanks a million, hugs Di
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very dark and to my liking i loved it it,hope to read more like this
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very good its lovely and the words flow together well
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Hi, thanks a million, hugs Di
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I love the detail and the imagery in this poem, they've both contrubuted greatly in sculpting this spectacularly dark poem... which in a way may be a mirror of the abuse people must endure in our world today.
The meter was brilliant and so was the rhyme. A very well written poem. Nice job! -
excellent
spectacular writting...darkest I've read so far and the rhymes...wow -
Hi, thanks a million, the rhyme is double, not easy to do , but it was fun to do, hugs Di
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I'm not even the person to like fantasy but t
Wowwwwwww...I am normally not the person for fantasy and magic and vampires and stuff like that, but this was...this captivated even me!! I really do not know what to write, it was just so superb. I felt the rhyme scheme was awkward and yet the poem still flowed like water through my ears. This was truly a great read and a great write. Good job. -
Hi, well pleasing my new daughter is the thing that makes me happy, thanks a million little one, a big hug mum Di
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awesome
Wow mom this is fantastic! I'm utterly speechless. I see what you mean about the meter in the poem...I actually went through and counted the syllables in this (it makes it flow so much better) Wonderful imagery and wording, you truly blew me away. 
take care and thank you for entering
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Hi my friend thanks a million, hugs Di
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good
A creepy dark write and very good imagery.Very well presented.Thanks for entering Di and good luck
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This was a classic! As I read it, I heard it read with a Vincent Price voicing, it sent chills through the bones... Great tale of the caprices of the denizens of darkness on an unholy night, I was spellbound!
If I could make a small suggestion, removing 'the' in Line 1, stanza 2 would improve the meter, which is absolutely excellent throughout the poem
Great work
PJ -
Hi Blackcat thanks a million, hugs Di
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this was great. i loved the detail. well great job and i wish you the best of luck in my contest.
later days -
Hi thanks a million, sorry for taking so long to get back to you I had problems on my computer, hugs Di
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Hi Shanna thanks a million, hugs Di
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Hi Melanie thanks a million, hugs Di
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Hi thanks a million glad you liked it, hugs Di
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Hi thanks a million, hugs Di
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*wow*
*wow*
very nice write. i loved the imagery it gave. not too sure if i spelt that word right but A for effort, eh? anyway. i loved the flow of the words. this is an excellent poem. it was written so beautifully. the story was exceptionally great too and having be in poem form makes it oh so much better. i look forward to reading more from you.
peace and love
<3
-ashley -
awesome
Wow, this was awesome. It was written so beautifully, I loved how it was a story. Keep it up!
--Melanie -
wow!!! this is an awesome poem!!! i wish you the best of luck in the contest!!! i love how the whole poem turned out, keep it up.
-lolo -
Hi, thanks a million, so I took time to thank you but am having trouble with my computer, hugs Di
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Hi, thanks a million, big hug Di
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You did a great job with this poem...Best of luck in the contest. Keep Up The Great Work.
**Shanna** -
Great write!
Beautifully said as always...
I always feel like someone's reading me an ancient fairytale when I read your poems! They're so ripe with mood that I get shivers! Lol!
Hats off to you!
Gypsybelle. -
this was wonderful very very good. good luck
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this is amazing!! i really wish i could write like that!! course i have several years to learn....but ne ways it was VeRy good!!
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Great
Wow. I must say..this is very good. Amazing job you have done. I asume you already figured that when you have over like 20-cabillino thingys. lol. Well i like this alot. Had a lot of power, and you followed the rules. I'm impressed. Thanks for entering, Good luck. (yes i am only 15. i'll be 16 in september woo!)
~Em -
I step into contests, which i do not enter just to read other poet work, sometimes i come upon a gem that forces me to make a comment. this is one such poem,Although i have read many of yours, and commented on them , so it was no surprise to read another excellent addition.This work drags you into what is occurring, you feel part of it, all well written works do that, great
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WOW..great imagery, excellent poem.
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Hi thanks a million, hugs Di
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wow, this is a great poem....
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Hi, thanks a million, I like rhyme lol, hugs Di
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wow very good. That has wonderful and amazing flow. I do not have any idea how hard you worked on it but it surely is neat. I also hope to read more. Keep writing. -Ativan
-these stats do not reflect judgment- (1- out of 10 - ten being best)
flow- 9
appeal- 6.5
professional- 8.5
unique- 7.5
emotional- 5.5 -
Good, the classic dark/fantasy mix, good flow, good rhymes.
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Hi Sweetheart, we have the same tastes, glad you liked it, this is my kind of dark, I don't like cutting it is to close to real life prefer fantasy, the pic I got off the web, have you looked at Royo's paintings I have a lot that I will use.thanks a million, hugs Di
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Hi,Amber thanks a million, it is a narrative poem so must tell a story, lol, hugs Di
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fab
Great images. Almost storylike..loved it
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You're incredibly, Di... really This is wonderful! One of the best things I've read all morning. It's got such a dark ambiance. Actually, it's weird... I wrote a poem a lot like this (not nearly as good)...but it was a sonnet. And I think I used the same picture, actually... you've got great taste Awesome work, sweetheart... keep writing
~Smidge~ 
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The images you conjured were amazing, dark, beautiful. Such eloquence! Ah, there is nothing more I can really say...You did...just awesomely...Wow. Applause is definitely deserved here. I really think you could win this contest!
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oh my goddess, this increadably beautiful. you amaze me, thankks for entering and good luck!!!!
Angel -
Master a slended dark write with wonderful flow and unforced rhyming. SWEET job enjoyed the read tremendously.
~~~~~~Love and Light~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~Blaze~~~~~~~~~~~ -
You are very skilled with rhyme. I like your images too.
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Great
Wow this is really imaginative, very beautiful. Have you ever thought about becoming an author? lol You would do very well at it! Thank you for this! -Pasion -
Hi, thanks for the wonderful compliments,hugs Di
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when witches prick their thumbs... love love love that image... great write.. would you consider removing it to improve my chance at a win? (tehee) good luck --michele
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Hi DarkRose666, thanks a million, hugs Di
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I remember reading this a while back....so intriguing. I love this piece...its so gorgeous and creative. You truly posess a wonderful gift.
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Verry nice poem,m i really feel your everything from your heart all the way down to your toes. You are a great great writeer keep it up
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Hi my friend how are you,? thanks a million hugs Di
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gotta applaud this one!
the subject matter is not one i favor but...
you write so well i was drawn right in
this is a poem to be proud of... as are many of yours! -
Excellent works!! Look out Steven King!!
Yikes... this is scary if it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up you have done a fanstastic job... this one of those scary movies... (only in words) that I have to watch between my fingers... you gooo girl Wishing you much success and good luck in the contest... ... Hugs Myst...
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Excellent bravo!!!
Awesome magnificently crafted piece the flow the effect (very, very scary... too scary for me... I'm a wuss) "In unhallowed ground dark spirits stir.
On devil's dog the hackles rise.
Black cat will now so softly purr
Then vampires fly to midnight skies." fantastic craftsmanship... brava
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Nice job, I really enjoyed reading this. Was worth the read...I look forward to more!
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again, very good
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great
this was good. i loved the picture it gave when i read it. it was great.
Dark angel spreads her wings to fly
Her shadow cast across the moon,
Then gremlins now their trade do ply
And witches sing the ancient rune.
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Amazing
I loved your descriptions and how you grouped so many 'magical creatures' in one single poem. Your imagery is great and the poem has a great flow.
Keep writing! -
Wow, I love this so much! It's very fairy tale..reminds me of Halloween . You are incredible.
<3 -
I love the imagry in this. Definitly a dark but awesome piece of writing. Good work. I love it.
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whoa. intensely dark. that is...an awesome poem. great job!
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Hi Ayizan, first thank you ,second if fornicating with the devil is not dark enough I wonder what is ' lol
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Hi shadowgirl glad you liked it, thanks a million, hugs Di
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the imaginary and describtiveness is good and dark but not too dark(no offense)for me to be considered dark but nevertheless it was a good write and i enjoyed reading this write of yours and good luck in the contest with your entry
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That is really freakin good!!!!!! Wow I mean its so creppy and dark and just what I was looking for! Great job and good luck in the contest!
Lost in lie,
xshadowxgirlx -
Brilliance TRUE GOLD
"The death of innocence" powerful drew me in right away. Then i felt as if i was in the movie " Rosemary's Baby" "A Classic psychological thriller with Mia Farrow." Outstanding Excellent Write. I could feel the horror as very alive and real. And when you sing, "When planets with the moon Align." This took me back to the stage musical "Hair" when they sing Aquarius. Wonderful Wonderful Wonderful!
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what a incredable bewitching read. i felt everymotion that was made...you simply amaze and entrance me. beautiful
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well, it certainly is dark somewhat haunting, i really like the begining, great way to start the poem. I think you did an ecxelent job on this one !! Keep it up and continue writing!!
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