Sun reflected by
moon's mirror on the sea:
one heart echoes
can darkness disguise
the lily's fragrance?
Author notes
Click the "Show All" Comments link for an authorative comment by AndrewHide (Teacher of tanka writing on AP)
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Commended, 8th out of 104, in the Winklings Contest # 43 [independently judged by Jenifer Rileigh from Mooloolah, Australia] see final notes: allpoetry.com/ Contest/214024 8
Written December 29th, 2004
In a list
Comments
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Your tanka is superb, I see you are a teacher of tanka. The last two lines are a wonderful use of the pivot.
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In such brevity, you still deliver the five senses in such stylish beauty and grace. Nicely written!
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Darkness covers up a lot of things but not all.
That's really a wonderful tanka and affirmation.
I don't know what Anamnesis means but I have reviewed Lyndons comment and it helped me understand it.
The imagery in this is so felt throughout the poem, and it's so heartfelt.
Kind of makes you give a happy sigh at the very end of it.
Kari
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I love lilies; don't know why, I just do. Sort of like, I like lighthouses, I don't really know why I do, I just do.
Now, smelling a lily is probably not what I'd do, the last time I did that a bug crawled up my nose. Yes, wasn't pretty.
Anyway ... nice Tanka.
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beautiful haiku poem. keep writing! well-done!
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Hmm well I actually have no idea what a tanka is but 'm sure you've written this very well. It's short but sweet. So what inspired you this time to write this poem? As always you've done a great job! I'm off to read more of your poems so take care! Byby!
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Thank you, Leon!
Yes, you are correct, traditional tanka did not have titles and usually only the first line of a haiku is used in the west when necessary. However, tanka are not as restrictive as haiku and contemporary styles do vary.
As the famous haijin Basho said, "Learn the rules, then forget them"
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This was great. I love tanka, mainly because my favorite english teacher was an accomplished tanka poet. So, of course she turned me on to the style. I haven't really given it a shot, but pieces like yours make me want to give it a shot. BTW, I thought tanka's usually don't have names?
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This is absolutely beautiful in form and presentation! I do like the tanka form now. Unfortunately, I have not had much exposure to it. Could you teach me to compose these? LOL Also, congratulations on the recognition it received in the contest. I always enjoy reading your work. All my best,
Belle
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Thank you so much for tapping the full depths and dimensions, Ron
Although it has multi-dimensional meaning, your insight and familiarity with the subtle and more esoteric allusions is most gratifying and appreciated. 
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Excellence
Maatkara: I find, Genelle, that the genius of the write lies as much with the beauty built by you into this tanka form as it bdoes with the title that explodes over this poem. Your
Anamnesis is first of all an excellent reminescence of the sun illuminating the moon on a dark night and , by relay, flooding the scene with soft light. The illustration is not necessary but it does explain what I have said. But Anamnesis has a deeper meaning: It is that part of the Eucharistic canon wherein the sacrifice of Christ is recalled.
Behold the poem: The Sun is a serious pun for 'Son' who brought light to a darkened world. His sacrifice is remembered by reflection in the Eucharist. Consider the lily of the field? Nothing more remarkable! Consider Christ's beautiful, pure and gentle life culminating in sacrifice: nothing more remarkable.
And the Heart of God, the Holy Spirit at work among us answers the rhetorical question: "Yes, God's grace will not allowe the darkness to disguise the lily's (the pure one's) fragrance; his everlasting love through salvation.
I am surprised that so many did not look at Gennelle's depths or even bother with her most enlightening title. Ron.
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This is absolutely beautiful... a complete image and feeling captured in so few words.
Wonderful.
Ann -
Oh, I could smell the love. Wonderful
~Mary O -
Very interesting, tanka, i havnt read any of these before but I like this peice, with just a few lines you have managed to put alot of emotion and imagery into it. well done, thanks for entering and good luck!
xx laura
(p.s. sorry i cant applaud your poem as i dont have the points!!) -
XD Aussie Tanka could be interesting...but not when it revolves around spiny anteaters. lol
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Haha! An Aussie tanka, huh?
I grew up with those in the Aussie bush.. hard to think of them as an elegant subject for a tanka
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Hehe, I like Japanese poetry in general. I also really like chōka too, but Tanka are my favorite. My science teacher made us do a Tanka on Echidna once
Edited on Feb 11, 2:07 p.m. because ''. -
Thank you, tieed! There are too few who apprecite them, let alone know the original name of the form
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Yay a Tanka!! There are not enough Waka poets on AP or most other poet-oriented sites. I really like this piece and the picture you've chosen to go with it is perfect. My favorite part is the last two lines, it's a great example of this under-rated form. Thank you for entering!
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This is a really wonderful poem. I think you did an excellent job on the form, even though I know nothing about the tanka. I think this poem has a lot of beautiful imagery, and you said so much in so few lines. I think that only the best poets can do that . Thank you very much for entering.
~Kevin -
Excellence
The visual and olfactory senses are appealled to in a brilliant Tanka. Let us say the poem aloud. Hear the vowel music? No wonder! 14 different vowel sounds in 17 words.
The sun is reflected from the water from the illumined moon. The moon recalls the sun for us at night. And, the sweetness of the lily is recalled throuigh the exudant perfume, in the still airs of night. This tanka is a beautiful reminiscence of the sun on the scene; the lily of the day; the waters shimmerings.
As well, the form presented enacts its title. For it is a feast for the sacrificial lily; the 'inferior' moon. It is, indeed, a natural Eucharistic phenomenon of the recall of the presence of the greater light of the day's presence sacrificed in beauty to the seducing night.
If you do not believe what I am saying, look at the title; roll the poem around in your mind and on your tongue. Let it reach into your soul. Congratulations Gennelle.
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Thank you, James! Yes, I find rhetorical questions can work very well in the right places.
~Gen
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This is quite beautiful dear girl. On another note , I think I have just come to the conclusion that some of my recent poetry , Outside of the site that I am currently working on for my book , Has contained elements like your tanka...LOL. Which surprises me quite a bit since I usually know what forms I am toying with. That last line is fantastic...The idea of the lily sets everything into place. And I must give you a big shout out for actually containing a question in your poem that doesn't actually ASK the reader to complete it. Which is also good to see.
I like this. Yep.
- James
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You have some great Poetry
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intriguing
I always feel intimidated by tanka (maybe by tanka writers too!!!) but this is one that really gets my attention. I'm trying to learn to appreciate them more, and the only way to do that is read more. Excellent attention grabber for me. The idea of reflected reflection is intriguing to say the least. Great tanka! Stu -
another beautiful write by the one and only maatkara this was incredible....your writing style astounds me!!! your the queen of alternative forms...haiku, tanka...etc....this was beautiful best of luck
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excellent
Oh Brava! How well done indeed. Great visual images, even without the lovely Pix. I must comment on the pivot line, great jump. A joy to read. SirPort -
Interesting. I've haven't read too many poems that are this short and yet this powerful, and trust me I've read LOTS. The question you pose is really deep and moving. Actually, the whole poem is deep and moving, LoL.
Good luck on future rights.
~The Sleepless One~ -
I wish I had found this Tanka much sooner! In five magic lines, all eternity lives, from the timeless past of creation with its stars, and more recent planet and its moon and a placid ocean right up to the immediacy of tonight with the reality of a lily in its scent.
It is an achingly beautiful reality, an awareness of meaning beyond the obvious surface that everyone can look at--but how many besides a poet can really SEE?
This one would have had to be a real contender for a trophy.
Terry
Edited on Feb 23, 6:28 p.m. because 'typo'. -
Finally, I got to read a tanka on this site! And a very well written one too. It's just beautiful and it flows together so well. It really touches the core in just five lines. I'm glad I got to read this and finally see how a tanka comes together. Good job. Thank you for sharing! Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering.
~CT
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