All I ever wanted
Was to be with you
But as soon as I near
You shatter, you fall
A million little shards
Broken on the floor
Sharp enough to cut
But too small to reassemble
The closest I can get
Is endless crimson tears
I fall for you, I shatter
Into a million pieces
Too small to reassemble, but
Sharp enough to kill my soul
Author notes
Don't cut. Seriously. Ever.
Written May 11th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- simply broken by anyonita jenea.
300 points, ended January 16, 2005, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This write speaks of so much loss, losing someone then losing yourself and using the broken parts to kill your soul... such a great metaphor... so well written, well done. xxx
-
wow
i really like this, love the background also
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Wow, I really enjoyed reading this. It hit home for me; I'm that person who will fall and shatter into millions of pieces if someone threatens to near. Great job of portraying this lack of trust. And the last two lines are by far two of the most powerful lines I've read. It gave me a creepy feeling since it is so close to me. Great job and good luck!
Jess -
This was great. Very simple and very beautiful. There rare breed of people who can create magic with everyday words and everyday things - my word for them is /genius/. And you're welcome to the club
All the best for the contest, Mandy -
I love it. It's very emotionalish eck! I dunno what to say in these things. Anyway, I liked it, especially the end.
~ShatteredIce~ -
oooh the last two lines gave me shivers!
this was great...i enjoyed it..thank you so much for entering, best of luck to you!
nibbling on the lotus
anyonita
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