*inspired by a song by Iced Earth *you guess which one*
In this life that be yours
Canst thou open up those doors ?
The Door to anger ?
The Door to hate?
Those doors that shew thou's twisted fate ?
To see contorted visions...that bends thy's mind ?
Those that makes thee look inside of ye...
To see what thou might find...
Be it nothing less...Or nothing more...
But those keys that openeth all thy's doors.
To shew you Hell...To slew thy's Heav'
As thou travels through the astral plane
To see that break ahead...
Grey clouds have burst aflame
Before That Storm I dread.
Lightning rips across thy skies'
A blackish Blue...tonight...
The Ringwraiths ride their dismal clouds
I scream at heavens light....
"Give 'I' answers! , Give 'I' pow'r !"
"Give us life in our dying hour!"
"O' Peter let Michaelangelus in, into thy Doors of Gold"
"Let this vampyre roam in this world un-foretold."
"Thou shalt not starve me out, I have slept with death"
"I have not ceased existance..."
"In my heart, her I have kept, and her I loved"
"But here I stand Lost and Starved from the doors above"
"So scream I, LET ME INTO THE F**ING DOORS OF RIGHT"
This scream I, at heaven's Light
This..I...Scream....All.....dazed......and lost
My...dying........dream........dying..........in
......Love's
.................Cold
.............................Frost.
Author notes
Written December 25th, 2004
A contest entry
- The World of Vampires and Cartoons Contest by Immortal Flesh.
450 points, ended March 24, 2005, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Very interesting piece and I mean very interesting.
This reminds me of sampson from the bible.
I'll explain why. In it there is a chapter that sampson is slaying these men/guards who are trying to kill him or was sent after him. He slays them one by one with a bone of i think a cattle and he sings while he does this in battle.
Yours was somewhat like that, i know call me nuts, but thts what I reminds me of.
nevertheless , I enjoyed reading it. -
great piece,
Gothic Angel
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beautiful imagery
I'm not a big fan of old english (yeah, I'll admit I don't really understand the language), but this was very well-written. There was a lot of great imagery in this. -
Okay...Besides the 'attempt' of using the old english...Which i admit i am no professional at using, What other typo's have I made...for I did re-read after she pointed out those mistakes...So please tell me if you see anymore typo's Its appreciated greatly...Cuz i believe Typo's are demon spawn DEMON SPAWN I TELL YE !!!
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It is pretty good but the typos take something away from it.They halt the flow and cause a stutter when reading.The eyes stop and can't really forgive such common mistakes.Hot-tamale is correct it will most definitely rock once they are corrected!
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atreyus title...its decent tho...
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Hun this is amazing! It reminds me oh Shakespeare. Who is someone I really love reading. This isn’t long at all; well I don’t think it is. If you can't tell I liked this... A lot hehe! Your so evil
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coolies
wow! simply marvelous dashingly superb with the old school text!
the way you put this poem together was in essence clever and sophisticated in drama
excellent job descriptiveness wicked!!!!!!!! -
Really I did...in line six...!!
*oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo A TYPO !!!!!!!!!!!!!! *BANGS HEAD AGAINST SCREEN*
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good
I like your poem and the old language forms, but shouldn't L5 be "thee thy" instead of "thou's" You also use thy's throughout instead of thy. In L6, you've written contored instead of contorted. L12, I do not understand why you have written travel's instead of travels or travelest. L14, clouds have, a cloud has. I'm not hatin' on you, really. I only mean to encourage you to do a little more work on it to make it even better.
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Its a bit long...
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