Only trees covering the bare path
The lines drawing deep within my soul
Barks leading toward the owls hoot
Lonely chills run up my spine
Holding tightly taking each breath
The darkness is unbearable
With each lonely moment speaking ear to ear
I waste my life trying to hold the ground
Letting go like the silky snake
Squeezing poison for a slow death
Author notes
forest forest forest....enjoy
Written December 24th, 2004
A contest entry
- Write Me Something With The Kiss Of Death by Be My Rushmore.
310 points, ended October 2, 2005, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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WOW! I can feel everything happening! It's so descriptive!! This is reeally good! I have never read a poem like this. It's very unique! Nice job!! Thanks so much for entering my contest!! Best of luck to you in it,
.::Hannah::. -
Your treatise out here is a cry in the woods which is angst ridden and the path paved with pain and a relentless pursuit of the origin==Shubs
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I liked the squiaing poison for a slow death part. This was very different in how you described everything. I liked reading it. thanks for joining and welcome to my group
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great!!
born 2 b dead
i can really relate to this poem. u make the readers understand how u feel inside. good job!! -
Hey!
born 2 b dead
Great job on this poem, it has a lot of different words that explain how you feel.. I like it a lot!
I got a ?.. I don't understand all your rules for your contest.. Whats the born 2 b dead thing about?? I have just started entering in contest, and kinda new.. can you explain?
**Postal -
Ooh,
I love it! -
Brillaint!!
It makes you sound as if you were the path itself, snaking itself warily where fear would come from, lovely. Oh!! Taking your request to comment on some of your poems, looks good this one, and goin to look for some more gooduns!!! -
I like how you conveyed deep feelings in such a short write. You had great imagery and flow. Very thought provoking and metaphorical. great write. It's kind of dark without being the average teen angst poem. Very well done. You seem to be really talented.
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I think you are feeling like you are wasting your life holding onto something. I have felt that way myself. Very good poem, makes the reader think. Good luck to you in the contest
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great write, short and very emotional...loved it
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Wonderful
This poem is very nice. Its descriptive and i feel like i am in these woods. I can feel the darkness. Really good write. Good luck!!
Thanks for the comment on my song.
-Gabrielle- -
lovely write......"I waste my life trying to hold the ground" i love that line....... awesome poem...... good luck with the contest.....
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hmm.. i like this. it sounds very.. thoughtful. the ending doesn't seem like the end, but i kind of like it that way, yknow what i mean? xP
i think my favorite line was "Barks leading toward the owls hoot"
Great job, and good luck in the contest. ^o^ Ooh and also, thanks for your lovely comments on my works
~taori
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