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I once was so very smart
So very smart, I cut a fart
I spliced it up, and wired
It too, and that day God
Made Baby Jesu
Build me a Hot Rod.
Jesus built my hot rod
It does a hundred and ten
Million different things
Evey time I hit a bend
Back fires like the son of God
Jesus Christ, he built my hot rod
I'm not dead, I wrote Zombie Love
Opened up for the Cramps
When Jesus blew my lava lamp
I'm no River Cuomo
Though Harvard let
Me disco in the field
In Madagascar
Dipped in Crisco
Jesus and I fried
On shrooms from afar
Then blew up Nabisco
And hit the Gay Bar
Jesus built my Hot Rod!
Jesus built my Hot Rod!
Jesus built my Hot Rod!
Yeah!
I wear flames
Spit fire
Queer as Uranus
I love McGyver
Quantum leap
& Star Trek
Jesus built my
Hotrod while
I snorted parts
With Beck.
Yeah!
Go, ahead clap.
Author notes
I'm really not gay, I'm an ironic transvestite in denial.
this is based on a ministry song
called Jesus built my hot rod.
Written December 24th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Humor/Metal/Gothic by zeltria.
500 points, ended January 17, 2005, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Jesus bilched my jihad.
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I don't really know what to wrtite. This is somehow similar to what my friend davethepoet writes.
Also I didn't understand the whole thing, but I can certainly see the art in it.
Good luck in the contest. -
lol This was funny and I like Ministry too...
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Good write, but this is not what I was looking for. But aside from that, it has a badass beat and the ASCII art of the penis (or is that a bong) is hilarious.
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http://allpoetry.com/Poem/952915
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where are the balls
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cute penis, ministry, reminded me of high school...I was thinking of clapping but since you got a shit load of them i decided to flip you off! By the way do you really know what felching is...
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Jesus felched my filet'd cod
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jesus milked my hot wad
Edited on Dec 25, 12:34 because ''. -
Weird ass, but yet, somehow rocking in the rhythm of the coupled train in that little grey cell of Momma's denial of the sexual iconoclasm of Hollywood stars.
I'll bet my Krishna Kar can beat your Jesus hot rod any day of the week.
This bops. She bops. He bops. -
sic
i really like it alot too. like kryspin said alot of different shapes formed in my mind. i loved it. and the typed out dick on the top before the poem was a VERY nice touch...hehehe very sic... -
Excellent
Are you really gay? Because this awesome poem would greately disappoint me if you weren't (b/c I am). I must say this is the best one I've read so far. Totally awesome. I just love it. I'm sending it to Chris (my gay friend). Great. Five out of five. -
Yeah humm... this is strange yet really funny. It is different.....
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interesting to say the least. never apologize for being gay, a nerd, a transvestite, certainly not for menza or for Jesus building a hot rod although he was a carpenter so it would be more of a flintstone type vehicle than a street rod i hope you do realize that little ditty. you get my vote for being inventive and i still am not 100% on the shape.
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Im sorry I wasnt getting the exact point of this poem except for silliness..no offense..I think it has no point or plot..in the future I will read more of your poetry.
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hehe
raises eyebrow I wish i had a hot rod shaped like a penis!! Waaaaaah lol I think Jesus would SO go to a gay bar. I mean think about folks. Unless he was married to Mary...the man was gay. Face it lol I'm still trying to figure out what an ironic transvestite in denial is hehe. I am gay and found this poem very funny and entertaining. Thanks bub! -
haha... wicked poem, man... I like the ending... and the shape of the words is a nice touch... haha... keep it up.
Love,
hill -
I like the ending, "go ahead, clap"
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I wonder what a hot rod built by the Son of Man would look like. I bet it'd be awesome. Woah. It blows the mind.
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This didnt really make sense and had no real point, at least thats what peanut tells me, since hes gay and this is a pretty gay poem I'll take his word for it.
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i've heard this chorus before
Nice images jumps and perspective shifts...and I like ministry...there version of this wasn't as witty though -
such strange shapes my mind lets me see...
i guess american chopper just got beat! -
i beleive i am going to enjoy following your work.
kill a kenedy for me. -
'ironic transvestite in denial'...LOL...yeah, aren't we all, love?
This...amused me deeply, lol, especially that part about Jesus going to a gay bar...yeah...I can see it. lol As always, I click on your pieces with relish because I know I'm in for a treat...lol. And yet again, you delivered...go you.
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hmmmm....interesting.....and that's why i like it lol...
Melanie xXx -
Awsome.
Heh... it's always amusing to watch how Born Again Belivers react when you refer to Christ humerously in your poem. It was a very humerous poem, I enjoyed it alot. True, there was a little bitterness, but you laced it with laughable ideas that just made the poem work. Good read! -
Yes, I can still see a layer of grit here.
Perhaps you might be lonely.
Perhaps you are excluded.
Jesus did not build your hotrod, but He has been where you are.
KT -
Read it now I've sanded it down a little.
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*claps*
I guess this was a funny poem, but I sensed just a tinge of bitterness. Meh. I guess bitterness is all well and good if there is humour laced with it. Everyone has an opinion of politics and religion. Most of it is ill-informed, but there is no denying the breadth of feeling.
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