jungle book move over!

A year exactly to this date
very proud of my manly mate
a long drive home from some odd place
constantly dreaming of that look on your face

What saddens me is this journey
A trip I must take to save you
Driving deep into the African jungle
To challenge those that dared glue

They came chanting words
Unspeakable tongues
Rushing you away
Baring your bum

They took you up high
To their castle in the sky
A ransom note left behind
With glue chunks I must abide

Plotting your rescue was difficult
Even Jacques Cousteau could never pull this off
I hope my plan works
I have befriended many pigmies
Hopefully they are not secretly my enemy

Rushing through the jungle bush
Dreaming of yours and your untouched treasures
I rush and flee in haste
Making my way up the hills
Through all the cheap thrills
And daintily dressed villagers

The mountain top temple
I bow before and carefully step
Into what I’m nearly certain is a trap

“Mookalaca meeky! Bam zam cheeky!”
They chanted as they pranced about an open fire pit
Next to the mini volcano they made out of Velcro and cheese
Their glances turn to me - I know what I must do

“People! Bow before the sacred twinky!”
They looked bewildered
The chief sniffed my yellow wonder
Spit on the ground and hissed

“I have the power to appease your GODS!”
They “ooed” and “ahhhed”
And their virgin sighed a sigh of relief as
She was dismounted and released

I whipped the twinky into the fire pit
And watched as flames shot out the statue’s bum
The villagers dropped to their knees and cried
That was the night the twinky died

In return they stuffed gold into a few socks
(they never believed in bags)
And returned you to me - my prince

Now we look back in- our photo album
Going over those jungled memories;
I point and laugh at the chief,
You can’t believe that girl was a virgin-
We sigh in disbelief…
Who would have thought people in Alabama still lived that way?!