Dear Santa,
I have a request for you,
hopefully this wish you'll make come true.
All year round I noted things go missing,
First gone was a shirt, no big deal, one shirt missing wouldn't hurt,
Next out of no where, I found myself short a bra,
What freaked me out most was when a few thongs were gone.
Now good ol' St. Nick,
is it just me or were things gone missing a bit sick?
That's not where it ended though...
A few call's a day with no one on the other line,
except for the utter silence after my voice,
I would rather the silence over what I heard the next day,
fast breathing and a couple of moans.
I must admit that scared me Mr. Claus,
but soon that was over with, no more calls.
As I was rubbing bath gel on my body one day,
I saw the sillohoute of someone standing in my bathroom,
Quickly did I open the shower door,
but no one seemed to ever have been there.
While in my room as I was getting dressed,
I heard a rustle from under my bed,
I bent over just in my panties,
but again nothing was there.
I felt something hard against my ass,
I jumped and stood straight,
Looked behind me
but the person was gone.
As I was heading out,
I heard some strange animal noise.
I ignored it, stupid fucking farmers as neighbors.
The person did make a mistake,
and left me a few clues.
So here's my request to you...
you filthy little bastard,
I don't want you watching me when I'm asleep,
or to even know when I'm awake!
You know I haven't been good,
so stop stalking me for goodness sake!
Love,
Sandra.
P.S. CHOKE ON THOSE DAMN COKIES!
And learn how to stalk you damn rookie!
Author notes
Is it just me..or does he seem like a damn stalker?! 
OH well, never believed in him. My poor poor childhood
Written December 21st, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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OH MY FUCKING GOD!! HAHAHAHA!!! damn hun this is awesome XD
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Haha, awesome job on this one sun. OH, but I have a confession to make...yea...that was me Well, least that whole stealing ur clothes and callin u thing was me, I dunno about lurking around in your shower, I'd probly slip on some soap or something, and give myself away. Sometimes I do wonder if santa has alterior motives. I wonder if he has a giant 'santa scope' which he uses to spy on people. I betcha thats how all those hidden camera things get on the internet. The red man tapes em and sells them to the government to help boost the economy. Oh well, I don't mind, as long as they catch my good side....and they're all good sides
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verry nice.....=) made me laugh
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This is awesome Sun!!! I love it, it started out kinda sad and scary but I loved the twist where it was Santa, I loked the end too but Cookie needs two O's
Great write hun!
Luv TIgrrR!! -
that was so funny, ah santa, i always knew there was something wrong with a man who jumps down chimneys in a red suit
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That was freaking hilarious, oh my gosh, I loved it.
Wow. That was nice. Never heard of anything quite like that. It was refreshing. You did make me laugh. AMAZING. It was great.
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rofl... people have scary stalkers but you have a jolly red stalkers
Poor you
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haha, this actually made me laugh. you made it all make wonderful sense. keep up the great work!
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Two thumbs up
Yeah. Yeah. He...he really does. I'm kinda afraid of Santa Claus at times. Wonderful poem, hysterical, brilliant! I love this. *claps and huggles*
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