The Bullet
A bullet's blind.
Trace its path
and you'll find
an eye behind
the bullet, blind.
Past the eye
lies a mind
ruminating wrath,
hate refined
—a bullet—
blind.
Powdered rage
in a skull cage.
Demented want
sets the stage.
Fingers, limber,
tease a trigger.
Within your terror
please remember
a bullet's blind.
Don't cry,
just do or die,
take out the eye,
the eye behind
the bullet, blind.
Author notes
Written December 21st, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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compressed
i enjoyed this tightly focused and neatly written thin poem...i appreciate your compressed use of language, which after all, is the essence of good poetry, isn't it?
as for its content - this poem sends a shiver though me, like a bullet.
good work...
i'm staying away from any open windows today... -
Luv it!!!!
Definetly a strange poem!!! But I loved it!!! Weird is cool I think. But it wasn't exactly weird. Just a little bit out of the ordinary! I loved the lines:
"Past the eye
lies a mind
ruminating wrath,
hate refined"
Those lines are so cool!!!! I loved reading this!!! Keep up the good work, I want to read more of your future pieces!!!!!!!!!
-Julia
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I like the structure, it's really cool. I also like the subject and how you described it {which, if I may add, was very well}. Awesome job, keep on rockin' and writin'.
<33 Kayla -
excellent description of something so small yet so powerful-
i like your choice of words, as each brings new meaning to
the subject at hand-great piece
ash -
That was beautiful. I never thought of a bullet like this. Your poem made me think. Nice visuals and imagery. It was engrossing. Great job.
~Rocker4me -
Wow, that was awesome! It flows VERY well!! Great job!!
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I'll be back to see more
very good visual, congratulations. keep it up. -
Wow this really is amazing i meant the way you frazewd it all was simply wonderful. I love how you ended it. I just love it.
great write and read.
luv bunches,
~mary~ -
wew.. this is amazing.. truely a fantastic write! you caught my attention right at the get go! this is great i love this i love the flow and the rhyme! nicely done!
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Fluid
Ah, wonderful! I love how your structure seems to follow the straight trajectory of a bullet in motion; good job with that. And also, your internal (and external) rhyming is just superb. This flows smoothly, as if you yourself is reading it to me. -
omg, that just captured me from the begginging!! exilent write!
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