Walking on the water,
clouds beneath my feet,
breezes playing in my hair,
a slow and calming beat,
Sliping through the evening,
moonbeams wheel and fly,
stars glowing in my hair,
planets drift slowly by,
Running in the forest,
birds come at my call,
water races by the path,
I am friends with all!
Author notes
Written December 20th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Good
It was good. I felt a sort of beat from it. Keep writing and I'll look at some of your other poems! -
This is a very pretty poem! You write so well and you want me to critique? I dont have much to say. It flowed well and and had a perfect rhyming scheme. Im not one that rhyms a whole lot in my poems. Not my style really. But this great! Keep it up!
Calib -
This is wonderful. Beautiful rhyme and flow and wonderful sense of fantasy to it. This is certainly getting my applaud. You have a gift.
~*Meri ♣ -
vivid, gentle, imaginative
this is a sweet and imaginative nature poem. you really did it well. -
Now this poem really shows your ability. And short length is not a bad thing. Advice once given to me by a pro writer (of fiction, not poems) was: "The most difficult thing and the most important thing is knowing when to end the story." I think you did a great job of that here.
Keep writing, share your skill/talent/feelings. -
Lovely rhyme and beautiful message Keep writing because this was fantastic Thanks for commenting on my poem
All the best,
Pozo
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What a wonderful way to show how much we are one with nature, the universe. I really believe you did well here. Thanks for sharing this.
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